


More Than Meets The Eye

by Daiseelee



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Arthur doesn't get tuberculosis, Blood and Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26149078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiseelee/pseuds/Daiseelee
Summary: Set in the year 1899 in a small, muddy town called Valentine. Daisy Lockwood, the only woman in town who gets the job done. She don't like to wear dresses. She'd rather stick with pants, cowboy boots and cowboy hats and works at the horse stables.Three years before 1899 her father had passed due to Pneumonia. She is in for the biggest surprise of her life when she finds out she isn't who she really is. She will also experience what it is like to become an outlaw in the notorious gang belonging to no other, Dutch Van Der Linde.And maybe find the truth hidden within her and the others she starts to care for.And also find love within the one she'd never thought of dreaming about.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	1. Just A Normal Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction of the game. I hope everything fits right together and if anything seems a little bit off, let me know in the comments. 
> 
> Also, I like where I am going with this. If you do too, let me know and also I'm welcome to any suggestions. 
> 
> Thank you!!

"Come here, my Daisy."

Pa spoke to me as he laid on his death bed. 

I did as told. He held his hand out for me to hold as he began to speak again, weakly. 

"You still got that job at the stables?"

I nodded my head. "I do."

"Good." He patted my hand with his other hand. He closed his eyes. "I'm so very proud of you. You've grown to be a beautiful woman."

I felt my eyes began to well up with tears because I know what is coming. 

Pa opened his eyes and looked at me. His skin pale, his eyes red and his breathing was ragged. 

"You're strong." He let out a hoarse cough. "All of my money is bein' left with you. Don't give none to Claire, you hear?" I nodded. "This house will be in your name too. Do as you please with it. If I were you, I'd sell it. It's a son of a bitch to work on."

I held tightly onto his hand as a tear slipped out of my eye. "I'll manage, pa."

I've seen a few tears fall from his eyes now. This is the only time I seen him cry. "Whatever happens, I want you to forgive me."

I frowned, sniffling as I talked. "What do you mean forgive you, pa?"

"I love you, Daisy. Please, don't forget that."

With that, his eyes gently closed and he took his last breath. 

"Pa?" I sobbed, shaking his now lifeless body. He laid there, my hand still in his. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I love you too, pa."

I opened my eyes to see my father's gravestone sitting in front of me. It's been three years since he passed, but it only felt like yesterday. 

Before walking away, I placed my black paragon hat back onto my head before turning and exiting out of the graveyard. 

"Daisy. Rob's looking for you. Where have you been? We need help with a horse."

James came jogging up to me from across the road. 

"Was talkin' to my pa. Rob can wait." I said as he approached me. Now the two of us are on our way to the stables. "Anyway, I was about to head there."

"Alright." He mumbled. 

"So, what's wrong with the horse?" I asked as we walked through town. 

"Well, somebody brought in this bulky mean bastard. Need I mention that he's big as hell." James said. I can sense him shaking his head. "Anyway, he seems pissed, rearing his ass in the air, trying to kick everyone. The man who brought him here wanted to get a new horse. I ain't sure if he's left yet or not. Rob's trying to see if Dan would like to buy him off of the guy or see if the guy is even willing to sell the horse."

"Ah, I see." I said as we got closer to the stables. "Well, I've been needin' a new horse for a while. Maybe I can be the one to tame him." I gave James a smirk and he only chuckled. 

"I don't know if it's gonna be that easy."

"Try me." I winked at him as we approached the stables. 

I can hear the horse already making a fuss and a couple of men were shouting. Right outside I can see a silver coated turkoman. 

When we entered the stables, I can see four men trying to calm the beast. Two of them being Rob and Dan. 

The other two, I have never seen before. One of them was an older man. He had white hair, a blue hat and dressed like he was going into the grizzlies. 

The other man had somewhat like golden brown hair, a brown jacket and a black hat with rope wrapped around it. I can see a holster and guns on both of the men too. 

"Well, I see you got some trouble here, gentlemen." I said, rounding the side to look at the horse's face. He's a raven black shire horse. James wasn't kidding, he is bulky. 

"Thank God you're here, Daisy." Rob said. "Now help us."

I chuckled before reaching into my satchel and pulled out a sugarcube. I walked up slowly to the horse as he kept rearing. The men got out of my way to give me some room. 

"Shh, it's okay, boy." I cooed. Clicking my tongue, slowly walking up to him with the sugarcube on my palm. I reached out with my other hand as he was snorting and squealing. "You're a pretty boy, aren't you? Be good now. I have your snack." I walked closer and closer until I reached him. He reared much taller this time, causing me to flinch, but not scurry away. 

"Daisy!" James called out, worry in his tone. 

"Shhhh!! I got this!" I whisper yelled. I focused all my attention back on the horse. "It's okay, boy. You're safe with me." I cooed some more. 

He calmed down just a little, but his hooves are still stomping the ground. I stretched my arm out a little bit more until it's under his mouth. 

He neighed a little, calming down every second. Hesitating as he reached to my palm. He let out another snort before sticking his tongue out and grabbing the sugarcube.

I kept cooing at him. Whispering sweet words so he knows that he's safe. Making sure he's alright as I reached out and began petting the side of his face. Soft and gentle. 

"How?" James questioned. 

"A horse knows who to trust." Rob answered him. 

"I guess a woman's touch is what he needs." Dan hummed. 

"She was right about what she said then." I hear James say which made me smirk. 

The horse finally calmed down after a short while. 

After he did, I turned around to face the men, placing a hand on my hip. 

"Now, I'm guessin' one of you brought him in?" I moved my finger between the two strangers. 

The younger of the two seemed surprised which I guess I don't blame him. All of them were pretty surprised. Even I was surprised. The man couldn't stop staring though. When I was about to bring it to his attention, the older man stepped forward. 

"Hello, ma'am. This is my son. He was the one who brought him in." He sounds almost like my pa. 

I nodded turning back to the younger man. "Were you wantin' to sell or stable him? Because if you want, I can buy him off of ya."

Again, silence from the man. Is he in shock? 

I turned to the older man with a look of question on my face. "He alright?"

The older man turned to the younger one and walked up to him. "Arthur? You alright, son?"

Nothing again. 

"Well, we ain't gonna-"

"I'll sell him to ya." The Arthur feller cut me off, clearing his throat. 

I nodded my head. "Alright then." I soon walked around the horse. "You got any papers?"

"No, ma'am." He said, shaking his head. 

"That's alright. I'll pay ten dollars. What do ya say?" I turned to him as I placed a palm on the horse's side. 

He rubbed his chin as he stared at the horse. We were all just standing here waiting what seems like forever for this man to agree with it and go along his way. 

Finally, he spoke. "Alright. I'll sell him to ya. I was lookin' to buy a horse anyway. Ten dollars is better than none."

"Well, take a look at the horses in here while I set up some things for ya, son." Rob said as he went to grab the stuff for this man to be all set. 

I stood, staring at the horse while the men did their thing. I feel a connection to this horse and I think he feels the same, the way he's nudging his snout into my palm. Either that or he wants more sugarcubes. 

"I'll buy this standardbred."

I looked up to see the man pet the palomino dapple coated american standardbred. She is a beauty so I can see why he would pick her. 

"Oh, her? She'll be a hundred and fifty dollars." James walked up to the guy. "She's an incredible horse."

"I'll buy her off of you." He said, walking back up to us. 

I reached into my satchel and pulled out the ten dollars for the shire and gave it to him. 

"Thank you." He said, nodding his head. 

"Alright, I have all the things you need for that horse." Rob came up with the papers and handed it to the man. "Here's your papers. I also got you a brush and some treats for your horse. All on me." He clapped the man on the shoulder with a smile on his face. 

"Thanks, mister." The man said. 

The other guy, the older one, stepped up to the other and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"Ready to go?"

The man with the black hat nodded as he took the things out of Rob's hands, stuff them in his new horse's saddlebag and grabbed the reins to walk her out. 

As they walked past me, the younger of the two gave me a nod and couldn't really stop staring. 

I turned and whispered in James' ear. "Why is he starin' like he is?"

"He's probably sweet on little miss Daisy." He snickered, shaking his head as he turned and walked towards one of the horses in the stalls. 

"You wanna get set up, Daisy?" Rob came up to me. 

I watched the strangers get on their horses, talking and such. I couldn't really understand why the younger man kept staring. It kind of creeped me out a little. 

I guess from afar he's a little handsome. 

The thought of that instantly caused me to shake my head. 

No. 

"Yeah, I'll get him all readied up." I said, turning on my heels and walked towards the saddles. 

At the end of the workday, I had finally got to set up the saddle and everything else for my new horse. 

James soon walked up to me. "So, what you gonna name him?"

I thought for a moment longer before turning to him. I have never thought about that. I only thought about having a horse to at least go out hunting or get some fresh air. After my last horse, my chocolate roan coated Dutch Warmblood named Stella, ran away, I couldn't bare to name another horse. She grew up with me so I didn't think I'd have to buy a new horse. 

Now that it's happening, I wouldn't know what to name him. 

"I- I honestly don't know, James." I chuckled soon after. "I never really thought about that."

"Well, think of something. I'll help you." He said, giving me a smile. 

I turned back to the Shire, thinking really hard on what I should name him. "How about Max?"

"Max? Seriously?"

I turned back to James and frowned. "What?"

"Nah, it has to be unique. That horse seems to have a connection to you. Find a name that he'll love. That you'll both love."

I groaned, turning back to the horse. I placed a hand on his face. He may be hardened on the outside, but on the inside he's a softy. Especially towards me. 

Then I got it. 

"Lychee."

"Uh, say what now?"

I looked right at James. "Lychee." I smiled as I heard a neigh come from the horse. "He seems happy with the name."

"I guess so. But still, why the name?"

"My pa used to read me this book when I was younger. It's about all types of fruits." I started to pet Lychee, seeing that he's content with the name. "I know, it sounds weird, but he read somethin' about Lychees. They're hard on the outside but sweet on the inside."

"So are apples, bananas, pomegranates. They all sound weird to be named on a horse, including lychee. Especially lychee." He huffed. 

"It's special to me, alright? It's a good fit for him." I frowned. 

"Right. Okay, I ain't judging. He's your horse after all." He put his hands up in surrender and backed out of my way as I attached Lychee to the lead and walked him out of the stables, James in tow. "See ya later at the saloon, Rob."

"Bye, Rob." I said waving with my free hand behind me. 

"Catch you two later."

"So, now that you got a horse, you wanna ride him out? Come with me to Emerald Ranch and talk to Seamus a little?" James said as we walked down the road.

"Why do you need to talk to him?" I asked, turning to look at him. 

James chuckled a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "It may seem silly, but there's this woman I've been sweet on. Don't know if she feels the same, but I wanted to get her a ring and Seamus has people coming from all over the place to sell him decent ones."

"Wait. You, of all people, found time in your life for romance?" I laughed a little as we continued walking. 

"Well, yeah. We can't be alone forever, Daisy." He laughed along. 

"As if I need a man. Last time I let a man into my life, he ran away because I am apparently difficult to deal with." I scoffed. 

"You are difficult to deal with." That caused me to playfully slap him on the arm. "But that don't mean there ain't someone out there that's equally difficult. Everybody has a somebody."

"Thanks for the heart to heart I didn't know I needed." I said sarcastically, chuckling and shaking my head. 

"Look, you ain't gotta be with someone. But being alone forever with no one to save you, well that's just horrifying."

"I don't need savin'. I can handle myself." I said, now my face as serious as can be. 

"Oh, I know." He said. He was quiet for a few. I thought he was done until he continued. "But that'll bite you in the ass one day. You need someone to take care of you."

"No, I don't." I almost snapped a little, but I kept calm. I know James cares about me, but I can't have him talking to me like I don't know what to do with myself. "I don't need someone to take care of me. Look, I'll be fine. I don't need anyone tryin' to tell me what's best for me. I can figure that out on my own time. For now, the thought of bein' with a man kind of sickens me."

"Alright. I'll stop pestering you then."

I looked over at him with an appreciative smile. "Thank you, James."

He nodded. 

We finally arrived at my house that's next to the church and across the street from the pig pen. 

"Here we are." James said. 

"Ima run in, grab my gun belt, my pistol and my knife then I'll be right out." I told him as I hand the lead to him to hold onto Lychee while I go get my things.

I went inside, walked through the house and into my room. I grabbed my gunbelt and fastened that loosely around my hip and picked up my knife and volcanic pistol and put them inside of my holster and sheath. 

I walked right out of my room and towards the front door until a door to my right caught my eye. I stood still and turned my head to look at it. 

My father's bedroom door. 

I haven't been in there in months. Everything is still in place, haven't touched a thing in there. I still don't know what to do with them. Everytime I enter that room, the memories of his last day in there floods back into my mind and an unanswered question runs in my mind. 

Whatever happens, I want you to forgive me.

What does that even mean? What does he need me to forgive him for? All he did was raise me, turned me into the strong, capable woman I am today. 

What has he done so bad that I would forgive him for? 

I can't find not one thing. 

Except the time he stole my chocolate, but I seen that coming. 

Still, that's nothing big. I'm so confused to this day. 

With a shake to my head, I looked forward and walked out of my door to where James was standing with not only Lychee but another horse.

The horse that also grew up with Stella. 

"Oh, Apollo!" I ran down the stairs and started to pet James' horse, Apollo. "You have a new friend! Lychee is his name!"

"That name is still a silly name." James mumbled causing me to walk to him and playfully punch his arm. 

"It's not the name, it's the meanin' behind it, fool." I said. "Now, let's get goin' to Emerald Ranch. I need some fresh air."

As I began to ready Lychee, a sound of something being thrown out the window occured, causing James and I to look around. 

That is when we both noticed a man, laying in the mud and Tommy was stomping down the stairs that belonged to the saloon. So many people started to stand around there, cheering on in a matter of minutes. 

"Uh oh, a bar fight." James said. I nodded as we both hitched our horses and walked towards the fight. 

Once I pushed through the crowd, I finally noticed who the man was fighting Tommy. I looked past all the dirt and mud on the man and noticed his jacket.

Could he be the same man I bought Lychee off of? 

"Is that-" James started to speak but I interrupted him quickly, already knowing what he was asking. 

"Sure looks like him."

Fury wanted to build up inside me, only because he has never been seen in this town. He's technically new here and now there's a fight involving him which I know nothing about. 

Then again, I can't be mad because he is the guy that sold me Lychee after all. Beside his creepy stares at the stables, he seemed like a decent guy. But all of it is equally to decent and disastrous.

But what do I know? He's a total stranger who stares too long until you start to feel uncomfortable. 

I tapped on the Barber's shoulder, hoping that'd get his attention. 

It did work.

He looked over at me, a pissed expression on his face because I decided to ruin his time of watching this fight. But when he noticed it was me, his face softened. 

"Daisy! How are you?"

"Good." I answered. I nodded towards the fight and asked, "What happened?"

"Oh some drunken fool entered the saloon, started a fight with someone and three others joined, the guy in the mud bein' one of 'em. Including Tommy as well." He answered, turning back to watch the fight. 

I scoffed and turned around to face James. "Men. Never knew how to be mature when drunk."

"You get pretty sloppy too when you drink, Daisy."

"Shut up. Let's go to Emerald Ranch before-"

"Stop!"

I was cut off by a man who shouted loud enough for everyone to hear during all the cheering and fighting. 

I turned back around to see poor sick Thomas, trying to break up the fight. The man who sold me Lychee was on top of Tommy, holding onto his collar with a fist pulled back. Looks like he was about to throw in another punch with what it looks like. Tommy looks beaten up already. 

Who is this man?

Nobody defeats Tommy. Tommy is a big guy and, well, that man seemed smaller than him. 

Thomas tried and tried to convince the guy and apparently it seemed to work because the man threw Tommy in the mud and pushed through the crowd. 

With that, everyone went back to doing their thing. Thomas picked up Tommy and brought him back into the saloon. 

The man who sold me the horse went and walked to the general store when two other men approached and they were talking about something. 

And the older man I seen with him at the stables was nowhere to be seen now. 

It was some fancy sop with a fancy mustache wearing a tuxedo. 

The other man had black hair that was slicked back, a black mustache, black hat. His choice in clothing seemed too neat. 

Few minutes passed when three other men showed up. 

One was definitely a Mexican and the other was indian and then another man, who I can just tell by looking at him that he does not take good care of himself. 

"Daisy?"

"What is goin' on with new faces lately?" I scoffed, shaking my head. "Come on. Let's go do your thing."

I went to turn around until a voice I never thought I'd hear again, called my name. 

"Daisy?"

I slowly turned my head to the right and there she was. The woman I despise. The woman who puts work first before her family. 

"I don't have time for this." I said plainly. Blank expression on my face before walking away, going towards the horses with James beside me. 

"Daisy! Wait!"

I heard her call after me and I sense that she's following. 

"I have no words to say to you right now, Claire." I said, angrily. 

"Please, listen to what I have to say!"

I approached the side of Lychee and unhitched him before climbing up onto the saddle. 

This is actually my first time getting on and it felt strange getting onto a huge horse like this one. I could barely reach the stirrup, but I managed. 

James soon mounted his horse and looked at me as I continued to ignore my aunt. 

"It's important!"

"Okay, fine." I turned and looked down at her. She's wearing her uniform as usual. Nothing changes with her. "If it's so important, then you'd be here when I get back. This should be all too familiar to you. Except when things were important for us, you never came back." I clicked my tongue and turned Lychee around, causing Claire to get out the way. "I will not be like you. No matter how much I hate you." I whipped the reins and James and I were off to Emerald Ranch. 

It's been a while riding on a horse and moving to ride a big one was all too new. I had to adjust a little while he galloped. It's a lot more bumpy, that's for sure. 

I'd just have to get used to it. 

"You okay?" James asked. He knows Claire. He knows how she is. We grew up together. Of course he knows. 

He also knows how much I'd like to punch her. 

"Yeah. She just get on my nerves a lot." I sighed, shaking my head. 

"Yeah, I know. What do you think she wants?"

"Maybe the house for starters." I answered, feeling the cool wind hit my face. "I don't know. I don't even know if I want to talk to her. She crossed her line a long time ago."

"Doesn't seem right for her to come all the way out here. She knows you hate her." He said. "You know, whatever happens I'm right there with you."

"Thanks, James." I turned to him and smiled. "But enough of the sappy shit. Let's go get you this ring."

When we came back to Valentine, I've noticed a horse hitched outside of my house. 

That would be my aunt. 

"Ima go find the woman I'm sweet on. You'll be alright?"

I nodded my head as we reached the house. "Yeah. Go find your girl."

His face turned red and he nodded before turning on his horse and headed down the road. 

With a sigh, I stopped Lychee in front of my house and dismounted. 

When I walked up to my door, I notice something on the ground in front of it. It was a rock sitting on a sheet of paper.

I kneeled down and moved the rock out of the way so I can pick up the paper. 

Standing up, I opened it and began to read. 

Daisy, I'd like you to come into the saloon and eat with me. I have a lot I need to talk to you about. Please, come see me. ~Claire

I stuck the paper into my satchel and turned around to look at Lychee. 

"Should I go see her, boy?" I pursed my lips as he neighed and I nodded. "I guess I should. Get this over with."

I walked back down the stairs and pet him. I cooed at him for a while before turning on my heels and began walking to the saloon. 

The saloon barely had folks inside when I walked in. A couple men stood at the bar, three men sat and played poker, the women were chatting softly and quietly. It's always like this during the day, but at night? It's lively with music and so many people. 

I looked around the saloon and finally found Claire. She was sitting in the far back, holding something that looked like a journal. 

When she spot me at the entrance, her face became gloomy. 

With a hard inhale and an even harder exhale, I sauntered over to her. 

"I thought you would never show, darling." She spoke. 

"Don't call me that." I said, sitting across from her. "What is so important you wanted to talk to me about?"

She cleared her throat and softly smiled at me. "First, I want to see how you are doing."

I looked down at my conjoined hands. "Why? After all these years, before, during and after pa's death, why now?" I almost whispered, looking back up at her. "He hated you for not coming around."

She sighed, laying the journal on the table gently. "I know and you have every right to be mad at me. But you should know that my job is really important."

"Why are you in your uniform anyway? Are you workin' now? Is that it?" I scoffed, turning my head to the side. 

"Yes, I am. But at least it gave me a chance to talk to you." She cleared her throat again. "There's a gang of outlaws we're chasing. So please, be careful, Daisy."

"I can take care of myself." I turned back to her. "Pa raised me to be cautious of my surroundings."

"Wise man." She said. She looked down at the journal and her face frowned. "What I wanted to talk to you, is something you might never forgive me for. Forgive your father for. Before he passed, he sent me a letter. Told me when I get the chance to speak to you, I have to tell you the truth."

Forgive? 

Whatever happens, I want you to forgive me. 

I blinked. The truth? 

"What do you mean?" I softly said, now staring at the journal. 

"You should read it yourself." She pushed it towards me. "It's your fathers. He wanted you to read it. He was too afraid to tell you while he was alive. I think I may be afraid to tell you as well. Read it on your own time." She stood up. "I know you won't forgive us. So, I apologize ahead of time. Goodbye, Daisy."

With that, she walked up to me and squeezed my shoulder before leaving the saloon. 

I looked down at the journal, too afraid to find out what lies inside of it. It definitely has something to do with me, but why do they think I'll hate them? Well, I already hate my aunt, but I would never hate my father. 

But whatever is inside this journal must be important the way Claire talked about it. 

I turned around in my seat to see Claire walk out the door. 

And someone else walked in.

That same man who sold me Lychee. 

He also had someone else with him. Another new man. 

This guy surely knows everyone. 

I watched them both walk to the bar and order drinks. 

With another sigh escaping me, I'm guessing it's the 100th sigh I have made today, I looked back down at the journal. 

I placed my hands on it and began to open it when someone placed a shot of whiskey in front of me. 

I looked up slowly, starting with the hand, up the arm and finally to the face. 

The face of the man who was at the stables, the face of the man who fought Tommy and somehow won. And the face of the man who's eyes were as blue as the ocean, but some green mixed into them. 

I've never seen anything like them. 

"I think you need this by the way your face is lookin'." He said. I looked over his shoulder and seen his friend was talking to some fella at the bar, laughing. 

I looked back up at the man with a confused face to me. "My face?"

"You look stressed." He said, his voice deep and low somewhat. "And I figured that I owe you one."

"Owe me one?" I asked even more confused. 

"I was inappropriate earlier, starin' at you and all. I should explain myself." He cleared his throat and pointed at the chair across from me. "May I?"

"Uh, yeah sure. Go ahead." I said, also clearing my throat. I sat up straight as I took the journal and placed it into my satchel. 

"The thing is, you look familiar. Sorta look like someone I know." He said, taking a sip of his beer. 

"Sorta?" I questioned. 

"Yeah, it's weird, but I hope you can forgive me." He chuckled a little.

"Yeah, I forgive you." I said, downing my shot. "Name's Daisy Lockwood. You?"

"Arthur Morgan."

"You new around here, Mr. Morgan?" I asked. 

"Somethin' like that." He nodded turning to look at his friend who is now gone. He then turned back to me. "Sorry, gotta go find my friend. Nice talkin' to ya." He tipped his hat, stood up and walked off yelling "Lenny" which I am guessing is his friend.

I noticed it is now becoming evening. I turned to see Arthur now at the bar, ordering more drinks. He turned to me and nodded, a small smile played at his lips. 

I smiled back just a tiny bit before standing up and walking out the door to the saloon. 

I took out the journal and stared at it for a good minute before heading home to turn in. 

I sat on my bed with my lantern on the bedside table, casting it's light onto the journal laying closed in front of me. 

I'm tense. Back to when my pa asked me to forgive him to my aunt coming by to hand me the truth behind the why.

What will I find out within these pages? How mad will I be if I start reading? 

The scariest part about it all is that whatever I read, will I be able to forgive them for whatever they did? 

And it all somehow involves me. 

With a sharp inhale and a sharp exhale, I placed my hand on the front of the journal. It lingers there for a few moments before opening to the first page. 

A small note was placed inside. 

Daisy, before you read this, I want to let you know your father loved you very much. I may not have been there when you were growing up, I may not have been there at his funeral, but for whatever it's worth, I would like you to know the truth. You will always be his little girl. 

Claire

I gulped, not knowing what I am getting myself into. 

Fuck it. 

I turned the page and began reading. 

"Year 1873

I brought in a new addition to the family. Claire disagreed upon bringing the little one home, but I couldn't sit there and watch the events that happened. How sad and horrible it was. Claire and I walked up to that barn when we heard the screams of not one, but two babies. We looked inside and found a man carrying the two little ones with their mother dead in front of him. It had looked like she just gave birth to the two of them. Anyway, Claire told me we should leave until the man spot us. He kept pleading to take them, take the two babies but I couldn't. I was having a hard enough time as is with the house. 

But then the feller started crying, begging and begging. He said "just take one then. Please, I can't take care of two. Take my beautiful girl, Jill." He'd say. It was hard for me to turn him down. It was hard to take away a sibling from the other, especially since they were twins. 

So I said hell with it and took her into my arms. It was a man in need of help, big help. I took her in with me. This precious little girl will be raised right without any worry in the world. Jill, you will be taken care of. You will be in the greatest hands. I am terribly sorry it happened like this. And if one day you find out I am not really your father, I beg for your forgiveness."

Confused as I am, I continued to read. My eyes, watering because now I know why my father wanted me to forgive him. I know why this was so important. 

I was born in 1873.

I was the little girl my pa took into his arms. 

I am the little girl who has a twin sibling. 

I am Jill.


	2. Man-Hunt

"Come on, Daisy. It isn't hard. Let's try again." My pa told me as he placed his finger under a word on the book. 

"Too-mah-toes"

I felt him chuckle behind me causing me to giggle. "Close, but not quite. Ta-may-toes. Tomatoes."

I turned to look at him. "Tomatoes?"

He nodded, giving me a gentle smile. "Daisy, your seventh birthday is coming up. I want to teach you everything you know just in case I won't be here anymore."

"What do you mean, pa?"

"I mean exactly that, darling." He closed the book and set it aside. He then lifted me off of his knee and stood me up on the ground, now kneeling in front of me. "When I'm gone, there's going to be some rough days. You're gonna have to fend for yourself. The only way to do that, you have to listen. Understand. Follow what I do, okay? You have to be strong even when I'm here. Do you understand?"

I nodded, looking down at my two little feet. "I don't want you to be gone."

"I know, honey, but the world won't allow that. Can you promise me that you'll do everything you can to protect yourself from the outside world?" He grabbed my shoulder, causing me to look up at him. "As long as I'm here, I'll protect you. But when I'm gone, you're going to have to protect yourself."

I nodded while trying not to think about him being gone. 

"Okay, good." He gave me a smile. "How about we go look at some horses? I'm gonna have to get a new one."

"Okay."

"I love you, Daisy."

"I love you too, pa."

I have been in bed for a week now since I've found out that I'm Jill. I kept rereading my father's journal. Every bit of it. 

And I can't seem to stop, no matter how many times it made my stomach curl. 

I didn't even get up to go see who knocks on my door. I'm not in a mood to talk to anybody. I knew I heard James' voice, but I couldn't bare to get up. 

I'm upset. 

Angry. 

Tired. 

Depressed. 

I still don't know how to come to terms with this. All my life has technically been a lie. 

The most crazy thing is that I have a twin somewhere out there. Or maybe she's not. I can't be too sure and that sucks the most. 

I want to meet her. I want to see her smile. I want to see what she looks like. Or he. 

I don't know what I should feel. How I should take this. I haven't even ate anything. Only had a cracker here or there. I don't have an appetite. 

I just don't know what I should do. 

"Daisy?"

I heard a knock on my door and that voice sounded like my aunt. 

"Daisy, please can we talk? Your friend, James, told me you have been inside all week without a word and now I know why you are like this so can we please talk?" She said, practically yelling. 

I have never heard her yell like that before. 

So, a sigh escaped me as I finally got out of bed the first time today and walked up to the door. 

I slightly opened it and was hit in the face by the sunlight, causing my headache to worsen. 

"Daisy?"

"It's not Daisy, Claire." I opened the door all the way to let her in. 

I walked towards the kitchen as I heard her enter the house and close the door. 

"Jill. Sorry." She followed me into the kitchen. 

I grabbed a cup from my cabinet and brewed some coffee. 

"What do you want to talk about?" I said, hearing my own voice which had no emotion to it. 

"I want to talk about what you read in that journal." She spoke, causing me to wince at what she said. 

"What is there to talk about?" I poured some coffee into my cup and sat down at my table. Claire sat down as well. 

"You have to understand why your father did that." She said, reaching out to grab my hand but I pulled back. She stared for a moment before clearing her throat. "He had a heart. Something I never had. He felt bad even though we didn't have room in the house for a kid especially all the stuff that was happening back then."

I looked up at her in disgust. "Then why did he change my name? Why did he hide it from me? You too. Why tell me after he died?" My voice became louder with each question, emotions spilling out one by one. "Why did he keep my twin from me? He could have taken us both! If he was willin' to take me in, he would have been willin' to take take her in."

"Okay, Daisy- er- Jill. He changed your name because he cared about you."

"That doesn't even make sense, Claire! None of this makes sense to me." My voice broke at the last part. "Who the hell am I?"

She sighed looking down at her hands. "Your father didn't write this in his journal, but he took care of your twin and your biological father for a while." She then looked up at me. "Your twin is not a girl, Jill and he is not who you want in your life right now."

My eyes widened with shock. 

How does she know that? 

"Wait, you knew him until this day? Where the hell is he?" My voice cracked, my head pounding. 

"You don't want to know, Jill and it's best that way." She sighed again. "Look, your father had empty space in his shed back then and had your biological father and your twin stay in there for a short while. He told your father to have your name changed because if you had to live with someone else that's not family, he didn't want you having the name. Not because he didn't care, but because he knew he'd never see you again. That is why your name was changed. All of it. Your father, he was going to keep Jill and change your last name, but it didn't sound right to him. That is why you were named Daisy Lockwood. You have to understand, your biological father did it for your own good because he knew how his life and his son's life was going to be." She stared right at me, a face full of concern. "It turned out he was right."

My bottom lip wobbled as a tear slipped right out. "What- what is my full name then?"

"It's best you don't know, Jill."

"Claire, why won't you tell me?"

"Because your brother isn't a good person! If I tell you, you'd end up looking for him and it's best you don't get involved!" She snapped, her face turned from concern to slight anger. 

"I have the right to know!" I stood up. I felt more tears escaping from my eyes and I damned myself for even letting my emotions get the best of me. "I didn't ask to be adopted! Illegally especially! I didn't ask to have a twin and I definitely did not ask to be born! So, the least you could do is tell me my last name and tell me where my damn brother is!" I am now full of rage. My veins were boiling and my head hot. I deserve the right to know my identity, to know my brother even if he is bad. He's out there completely clueless, maybe. I'm assuming he is and damnit if I have to find out on my own, then so be it. 

"Okay, you know what, Jill?" She said as she stood up. "You're right. You do have the right to know. So, I'll do the courtesy to let you know who your brother is. I hope you have better judgement." She leaned forward over the table. "John Marston is an outlaw. A coldblooded outlaw who runs with the infamous gang leader, Dutch Van Der Linde. So go ahead, Jill. Walk into their nests of killers and thieves. You won't make it out alive. We're on the hunt for them." She scoffed, standing straight now. "I swear, if you ever join them, I'd bet your father would look down on you with hate."

"I know what I'm doin'."

"As you always say." She turned around and began to walk towards the door. "I hope you have enough brains. I love you, child. I do, but this is my job and nothing will ruin that for me." She stated before opening the door and walked right out, leaving me almost speechless. 

My twin brother runs with a gang of outlaws and I have heard of them. I just never looked at their wanted posters. 

Claire does not know how this feels. She was not lied to her whole life. 

I have to find my brother. 

I need to find my brother. 

So, instead of sulking in my sorrows, I hurried and got dressed. I put on my gunbelt with my most precious guns, braided my hair back and put on my hat then stepped out of the door after putting my boots on. 

"Daisy, thank God you're out of bed!"

"Not now, James. I have some important things to do." I told him, walking down the steps. 

"What things? I was just about to take you to the saloon and get a meal." He said as I walked past him. 

"My name's not Daisy, it's Jill. Claire told me a thing or two about my twin brother and now ima go around lookin' for him." I went to Lychee and began to pet him. I'm sure he'd love to get out and ride. It has been a week after all. 

"Wait, what?" James questioned, confusion in his voice. 

"It's a long story." I told him. 

Then, I came to realisation that this may take days to weeks to look for him so I walked back up my stairs to grab all the things I need for this "adventure".

"So, you're not Daisy. You now have a brother and you're going to go look for him?" James repeated, following me into my house. 

"Yep." I went around the house packing up clothes, a bedroll and a tent. I then went to pick up my father's carbine and double barrel shotgun when James started to speak again. 

"What is your name, then?"

I stood, handed him the guns and said, "Jill Marston."

"Jill Marston. Wait, John Marston is your brother? John Marston? Daisy, you can't honestly-"

"My name is not Daisy, James. Go tell Rob that I won't be comin' in for work." I said as we walked back out of my house and down to Lychee. 

"I'm not going to tell Rob." He told me and I turned to look at him, about to plead but he spoke again. "We are going to go tell him. I'm coming with you."

"James, you can't. This is my problem, not yours." I said as I put away my stuff on the back of Lychee and had James hand me my guns. 

"Yeah, well I'm your best friend and I'll be damned if something happens to you." He gave me a smile and I returned one to him. 

Then a thought popped up. 

"What about the girl you're sweet on?" I asked and his face turned into a frown. 

"Well, if you weren't in the house the whole week, you'd know. But, turned out she had another man." He chuckled before waving has hand, dismissing the conversation. "C'mon, let's get this adventure going."

I frowned at him, but didn't say anymore. I then mounted Lychee and James mounted Apollo. 

I am going to go find my brother. With this journal in my satchel, I will convince him that he's my brother. 

That's if he doesn't know. 

After we told Rob, James and I headed out of Valentine. Rob was nice enough to give us our pay early so we had things to buy if we ran out. I haven't even thought about food, but James did. He brought some canned beans, peaches, corn and bread. 

To be honest, I haven't thought this through. I don't know where to start, who to ask. I even told James about this and he said we should go to Emerald Ranch and speak to Seamus and see if anyone came by and sold things illegally. 

We don't even know if the Van Der Linde gang is holding up out here. The last thing I read about them, they robbed a train up north in the Grizzlies. 

"So your father kept all of this from you?" James asked as our horses trotted down the road. Emerald Ranch came into view. 

"Yeah. I don't know if I should be pissed at him or forgivin'." I shook my head. "But, I'll find my brother. I know I will."

"But he's in a gang." He said. 

"Yeah? So?"

"You want to just walk up into a gang of outlaws, wanting to speak to your brother? What if he doesn't know anything about you? How will they believe you?" He started questioning, making me wonder myself. "How will he even believe you?"

"He's my twin." I answered. "I'm sure they'll see the resemblance. Plus, this journal says some things. The year we were born in."

"Yeah, but your last names aren't in that journal. That twin you have, they'll think could be anyone." James said, making me think that he's right. 

"I mean, it's gotta be worth somethin' to try, right?" I said as we ended up in Emerald Ranch. 

"I guess."

I may not have enough to prove that, but hopefully my looks will prove enough. That's if he even looks like me. 

We soon stopped next to the barn where Seamus was. We dismounted and hitched our horses before walking up to Seamus. 

"Hey, Seamus."

"James. What brings you here?" He then nodded at me. 

"Well, I have a question." James said, as we stopped in front of Seamus. "Have you had anybody come through and sell some gold bars or anything that might have been suspicious?"

Seamus looked around, trying to keep eye lookout. "I have quite a few come through here. Why do you want to know?"

"It's a long story." I started as I walked closer to the crate where Seamus is at. "My brother has some friends who, let's say, works for the illigal side and well, I'm lookin' for them. I just want to know if he's around here."

"Do you know what they look like?" He asked, looking over at me. 

Our voices were very hush hush but I know Seamus. He's somewhat trustworthy. 

"No, I don't." I bit on my bottom lip. 

"You know anybody who's doing secret jobs for you?" James asked, very quietly. 

"I- I don't know if I should say, James. Those are my clients." Seamus told us, shaking his head. 

"Look, Seamus. Maybe this should help." I pulled out my father's journal and handed it to him. "I shouldn't be doin' this, but I trust you enough. I had only found out last week that my name is not Daisy and today I found out who my brother was. Anything and I mean anything will help. I am real desperate, Seamus."

"Hmm." He read through the journal and nodded his head. We waited a few minutes until he gave me back the journal and spoke again. "Okay, we had a few folks come here and they'd do my job."

"Any recent ones will help, Seamus. My aunt, or well she's not my real aunt, but she told me about my brother today and that she's uh after him and his friends. That only tells me that they may be around here, I'm not sure, but if you got a good look at your clients, maybe you can tell me what they look like." I asked, pleading for him to tell me. 

"Alright. I had a recent job done. Asked these two fellers to steal my cousin's wagon. Cousin by marriage." He said, sighing. "I'll give you their descriptions if you don't mention my name."

James and I nodded. "Sure. Not a word."

"Okay. Well, it was an older man and a younger. The older man had white hair. Wrinkles of course. Hmm he had on a scarf and a dark blue-ish hat."

I nodded my head but what he says next, shocks me. 

"The younger man had a black hat. Brown jacket, brown hair, blue-green eyes-"

Before he spoke even more, I interrupted him. "Arthur?"

"Oh, so you know him?" Seamus asked. 

I turned to James to see he's looking at me with a confused expression on his face. 

"What? He's the guy who sold me Lychee and I met him again at the saloon." I turned back to Seamus. 

"Lychee? Who's Lychee?"

"Nevermind about that." I said, waving my hand around. "Did they say anything about stayin' around here?"

"Now that you mention it, I heard one of them saying something about heading back to camp. So, I'll bet they're camped around somewhere in New Hanover." He answered, leaning on the crate. 

"Thank you, Seamus." James said as he placed his hand on my back and we started walking back to the horses. 

I sighed. "That's barely anything. All I know is Arthur came to him. Doesn't mean that Arthur is part of the Van Der Linde gang."

"Actually, if he's Arthur Morgan, then yeah. He's in the gang. He doesn't have any posters around yet though-"

"Wait, you said Arthur Morgan?" I stopped walking and caused James to stop as well. I stared right at him, eyes wide and shocked as ever. "Arthur Morgan? That's who introduced himself to me at the saloon! That's who sold me Lychee! James, we have to find him."

"I don't know how. Maybe go back to Valentine? Wait for him to show up in the saloon again?" James said, nervous in his tone. 

"Look, if we see him and only him, I can try to convince him that I'm John's twin sister. He has to know John since they run in the same gang." I nodded my head. "As a matter of fact, he told me I looked familiar. James!" I turned to him with a wide grin, gripping his arm. "We are gettin' somewhere!"

"Yeah, yeah. I guess." He said, looking down at his feet. 

I frowned at that and let go of him. "What's wrong?"

"What if Arthur blows our heads off? I heard he's a mean son of a bitch."

"He wasn't mean to me. He wasn't mean to us in the stables." I said. 

"Yeah, but he was also keeping to himself. Not really easy to read, Jill." He told me turning to get on his horse. 

I nodded. "Well, I know he won't blow our heads off. Ima just ask if he knows John Marston and if it gets heated, I'll explain. You can just sit back."

"I'm not going to sit back. I want to protect you, Jill."

I sighed. "Alright, though you know I can take care of myself."

He chuckled as we both mounted our horses. "Oh, I know. Now, let's go back and look around Valentine. If he's nowhere to be seen, let's wait in the saloon."

I nodded with a smile to my face. "I can only imagine what it'd be like to be with my brother. What he looks like, sounds like, what he is like. Everything."

"I'm sure." James smiled at me as we took off back to Valentine. 

We arrived in Valentine just before dark. It's still light outside, but in an hour or two it won't be. So, we took the time to look in all the stores. Everywhere. 

"Okay, you search the saloon, I'll search the Saints hotel." I told James and he nodded. 

When he was about to go to the saloon, we were stopped my Thomas. 

"Oh, hey, Thomas." I greeted. 

"Daisy, it's good to see you out of the house. Haven't seen you since last week." He said, followed by a cough. 

"How are you doin'?" I asked, not really having the time to explain to him that my name is not Daisy and the story behind that. 

"Not good. Edith wanted you to come by today. She has a surprise for you." He said, giving me a gentle smile. 

He doesn't look good. His eyes are red, like my father's. His skin is pale, yet sweating. His coughs became worse. I feel bad for his family. 

"Today? Can it wait?" I asked. 

"Well, it can. But she really wanted to see you since you haven't been out for a week." He said, giving me a look which made me give in. 

I nodded. "Okay, I'll head there now."

"Great, I'll join you. Wait up." He said as he turned around and walked towards his horse. 

"I thought we were-" James was talking until I cut him off, looking right at him. 

"Can you keep lookin'? This won't take long. Ima just see how the family is doin' and get that surprise. I'll be back." I smiled at him and he did the same. 

"Alright. If I see him, I might just follow him or something when he leaves."

I shook my head. "No, that's dumb. Just let him go. I'm sure he'll be back."

James nodded. 

"Okay, you ready?" Thomas came up to us on his horse. 

I nodded my head. "I'll be back, James."

"Okay."

With that, Thomas and I were off. 

"I'm sorry that I haven't been out much. I got some pretty depressin' news, but I'm workin' on it." I told Thomas as we left Valentine. 

"Depressing? How so?"

"For starters, my name is not Daisy. Found out a week ago that my real name is Jill." I sighed, looking over at him. 

"Jill? That's a pretty name, but not as pretty as Daisy." He smiled at me. 

I nodded, also smiling just a little. "Yeah, I guess."

"How did you find out?"

"Well, my father isn't exactly my real father. It's a long story for another time. He- he kept my real name a secret until just a week ago." I said, now looking straight ahead. 

"Well, he's a good man. I'm sure he had his reasons." Thomas said with another cough following after. 

"Yeah, he did. I- I just don't know if I'm pissed at him or that I'm relieved to find out." I admitted. 

"Well, life is short. You just gotta take everything in as is and push through it." He told me. 

I looked at him full of sorrow. So much was in that sentence. I could only imagine how he and his family must feel after finding out that he had tuberculosis. 

We arrived at the Downes ranch. Dismounted and hitched our horses out front and entered his home. 

"Edith, someone here wants to see you." Thomas called out, causing Edith to come out from behind a wall that leads to the kitchen. 

"Daisy!"

"No, darlin'. It's not Daisy no more." Thomas said. He looked at me and nodded. "Ima go out into the garden. You ladies catch up." He looked from me to her and pat my shoulder before walking out the door. 

"It's not Daisy anymore? What does my husband mean by that?" Edith stared at me as she walked up. 

"It's actually Jill. I'll explain it to you." I told her as we sat down on her couch in the living room. 

"Okay, well first, I have somethin' for ya." She winked at me as she stood and walked into one of the rooms in the house. Moments later she came back out. "Open your hands."

I did as told and opened my hands for her. 

She put a jar into my hands and backed up a little. 

I looked at it and noticed a daisy flower inside with some dirt to help keep it standing. 

I then looked back up at her and smiled. "Thank you, that means a lot."

She sat down and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Though, I'm not sure if you want it now since your name ain't Daisy which I still am confused about."

I sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you. But first of all, I'm keepin' this flower."

We both laughed for a while before I went ahead and told her the whole story of my identity and why I was in the house the whole week. 

"That's awful. I'm so sorry that you're goin' through this." She said.

I nodded. "Yeah, it was shockin'. That's for sure." I told her. 

"Well, if there's anything-"

"Thomas Downes?" 

A man's voice called out from outside. His voice was pretty scary which made me think that can't be good. 

"Thomas Downes get out here!" He continues. 

I turned to Edith. "What's goin' on?"

"I- I don't know." She said, worry was written all over her face. 

"Alright, let me go see whats goin' on. You stay in here just in case this guy has a gun on him." I told her and she nodded. 

I stood and walked towards the door and peaked out the window, pulling the curtain to the side a little. I placed my palm on the butt of my pistol as I watched him go around the corner. I couldn't really tell if he was armed or not, so I opened the door and headed outside, cautiously. 

I ended up walking down the steps real slow and began walking faster towards the garden once my feet touched the dirt. 

Once I was near the garden, I could see the guy opening the gate, stepping towards Thomas who was guarding himself with a rake. 

So I know something's wrong, especially since the man was raging with anger. 

So I quickly made my way over and that was when Thomas swung the rake at the man, causing the man to block with one arm and punch Thomas with the other. 

I have had it. 

I stepped through the gate, stopped and stood still, aimed my pistol at the man and cocked back the hammer, making him stiffen like a statue. 

"Don't you do anything else." I said, trying to sound tough. "Turn around with your hands up."

The man did as told. He put his hands up and turned around slowly. 

But what I seen next was nothing I expected. 

"Well, well, well. Look who it is." I said, clicking ny tongue. "I've been lookin' for you, Arthur Morgan."

"This ain't none of your business, woman. Get back inside." He told me, a harsh tone to his voice. Completely different from the man in the saloon. 

I shook my head. "Nah. First, you let him go. I don't know why you're beatin' on the sick, but he's my friend. You gotta get past me before messin' with him." I said, taking a step forward and he took a step back. "Second, I'd like to know where John Marston is."

My heart is beating really fast. To be honest, I am scared. But I need to know where my brother is. I've come too far now to give up. I'm not the giving up person, so I have to stand my ground. 

Arthur only chuckled. "Look, Ms. Lockwood. I don't even know what you're talkin' about. So if you'll excuse me-"

"No." I told him, aiming up at his head. "I know who you are, Mr. Morgan. If I wanted to, I can bring you into the hands of the law. It'd be a shame to have to waste perfectly good money if I don't bring you in alive. You do one wrong thing, I'm puttin' a bullet between your eyes." I'm trying so hard not to shake. I've never been in this situation before, but when it comes to protecting my friend, when it comes to finding my brother, I'd do anything. "Now, tell me where John Marston is."

His smirk disappeared and now all I see is straight anger through his eyes.

"What you want with him?" He stared at me cautiously, hands still raised. 

I smirked a little, finally getting him to where I want. I took in a sharp inhale befor speaking. 

"He's my brother."

Silence is all that's left. Arthur seemed to be in shock, but it's kind of hard to read him. 

I looked past him at Thomas. "Go back inside with Edith, Thomas. Trust me, this man ain't gonna do nothin' to you. Go on."

He nodded, cautiously stepping around Arthur who's face is now going back to anger. 

"Wait, hold on. He ain't goin' anywhere, lady. How am I supposed to believe that John is your brother?" He said, about to reach towards Thomas until I shot my gun in the air, causing Arthur to still his movement. 

"He is and you're goin' to believe me. Thomas, go in now." I kept glancing between Thomas and Arthur. 

"Thank you, Jill." Thomas nodded at me as he walked past me and ran towards the house. 

Arthur put his hands back up in the air and looked at me with a questioned look to his face. "Jill?"

"Jill Marston." I told him, stepping closer. My hands began to shake even more. 

It's one thing telling an outlaw (who your brother is running with) your name, but it's another thing threatening this outlaw. 

"Where's the proof, huh? How can I believe you?"

I shrugged. "Trust me, this is news to me too, Mr. Morgan. Just found out a week ago." I chuckled, shaking my head. "When you find out your whole life was a lie, you'd do everything it takes to help it make sense. My father, not biological, had a journal. And in that journal, he talked about me. The Jill me, not the Daisy me. It didn't say John's name, no. But it was the day we were born he took me in. I had a twin brother who my biological father took in. Our mother died at birth. Shall I go on?"

"That ain't proof, ma'am. Sorry to say." He glared at me, not believing a word. 

"Take a look at the journal if you don't believe me. I was born in 1873. In a barn." I told him, as I reached my hand into my satchel. It's hard holding a gun to a man with one hand, never losing eye contact while I look for the journal with the other hand. 

Once I finally found it, I took it out and threw it onto the ground. 

He slowly leaned down and picked it up. I can see his eyes moving over every word, reading everything. 

"I still can't believe he's your brother. None of it said his name. Yeah, y'all were born the same year, but that's not enough, missy." He shook his head again. 

"How about this." I cleared my throat, trying to find the words for my next sentence. "My aunt Claire, I hate her. She's my non-biological father's sister. She told me about y'all. About John and about how he's my twin brother."

He looked up at me. "How does she know about us?"

"She- she's a Pinkerton." I told him, sighing. 

"See? How am I supposed to believe you if your aunt works for the Pinkertons? She could be here right now, listenin' to me talk. That's why you're tryin' to find where we're at, isn't it?" Anger flashed in his eyes once again and his voice grew harsh and deeper. 

I simply shook my head. "No, she ain't here. Otherwise, she'd already be tellin' you to turn around. She insisted that I don't try to find John because y'all are a bunch of outlaws. So I took it in my matters to find my brother."

"Nah, I don't know what to say to you, Jill. That still ain't tellin' me much-"

I interrupted him with a chuckle, remembering our conversation at the saloon. "Plus, you even said yourself that I looked familiar. Now how could that be? Take a good look at my face and tell me I ain't John's twin sister."

My smirk disappeared and I paid attention at keeping my face straight for him to get a good look at me. 

I watched him as he examined me. His head leaning to the left and right, squinting his eyes. 

Then his mouth fell open. 

"You are tellin' the truth, ain't you? I- I hate to admit it, but you sorta resemble John." He said, shaking his head. "Only way to really find out you are who you say you are is to capture your aunt and ask her questions. If you don't want to do it, then that's tellin' me you ain't his sister."

I pondered on that, realising what I am definitely getting myself into now. How in the world am I supposed to catch Claire? 

Then, an idea popped into my head. 

"I have a better plan." I told him, my gun still aiming right at him. "I can have her sit with me in the saloon and I can ask her some more questions. If she explains that John is my brother, you are takin' me straight to him. You can sit at the next table, but keep your head low."

He rubbed his chin, slowly walking towards me. "You really want to do this? Go through all the trouble? I think you are even lost and don't know for sure that he's your brother. Besides, if he ain't, you're dead. Threatenin' me." He scoffed. 

"Don't come closer." I told him. "Just because I want your help, don't mean I gotta trust you."

"I know you ain't gonna shoot me. Put down the gun or I'll have to force it out of your hand. I'm helpin' you, you can relax now." He put both his hands up as if he's trying to calm a horse. 

After a few moments, I did put my gun back into it's holster. I then nodded my head. "Alright then. Now, I don't know for sure where she's gonna be at, but I'll wait around in the saloon or ask a ton of people. You just stand back so you aren't so suspicious."

"I just don't know why you're doin' this." He shook his head as he walked past me, I soon ended up following him. 

"I want to meet my brother and if goin' through all this means that I will, then I don't care. I just want to see him. Whether you believe me or not, I am Jill Marston." I told him as we mounted our horses and took off.

I looked over at Arthur as we trotted down the road. "What were you doin' tryna beat up Thomas for? He didn't do anything."

He looked over at me with a scowl on his face. "That ain't none of your business, lady."

"It is my business. Thomas is a great friend and he's sick. I'll do whatever it takes to protect them." I told him now giving him a scowl. "He owe you money or somethin'?"

He nodded, turning his head to look in front of him. 

I just shook my head in disgust. 

Why is my brother running with this fool?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this story so far. Once again, if I left anything out or if I made a mistake, please comment and let me know. 
> 
> I have a few ideas hatching up and can't wait to write it all down.


	3. Long Lost Brother

"Joseph! Daisy! Y'all in here?"

I could hear my aunt's voice come from the other side of the house. 

"Aunt Claire!" My seven year old self called out as I put down my book and rushed out of my room. 

"Daisy, where's your pa?" She asked me as she kneeled down and gave me a hug. 

I pointed back to the back door behind me. 

"Outside plantin'." I told her as she nodded her head at me and started walking towards the door and walked out. 

Wondering why my aunt was here, I headed to the door and slightly opened it to see my pa and my aunt standing there. 

"Is this what you're going to be doing for the rest of your life, Joseph?" My aunt began to argue. 

Why is she mad at daddy? 

"If it means protectin' Daisy, then yes. I will do this 'til I die." My pa argued back, shaking his head. 

"What about your dream? Being here, secluded like this won't even bring you close to what you wanted." She told him, crossing her arms. 

"Then so be it, Claire. Some of us don't get what we want." My pa kneeled back down and began to continue planting. "Besides, I now have a new thing I want." I watched him turn to look back up at her. "A family."

With that, she scoffed as she turned away and began to walk back towards the house. 

"You can't be stuck doing this forever. The truth always comes back to light."

Panicked, I closed the door quickly and ran back into my room. 

What were they talking about? 

Arthur and I made it to Valentine where I hope Claire was still around. 

"I see you still got that horse. He looks healthy." Arthur noted. 

I nodded without looking at him. "Yeah, Lychee has been a good boy. Haven't you?" I leaned forward and pat him a couple of times and in return he snorted a little, shaking his head. 

"Lychee?" Arthur questioned. 

"Yes, Lychee. Why is everyone questionin' on what I name my horse?" 

"I didn't mean no offense, ma'am." He stated as we stopped in front of my house. 

"Okay, look." I turned to Arthur. "We were enemies just about thirty minutes or so ago. Whether you're a gentleman or not, you are still an outlaw. Call me by my name, for Christ's sake." I then dismounted Lychee and tied the lead to the hitching post and Arthur did the same. 

"Sorry, bad habit." He told me as we walked down the road a little and stood in front of the church that's there.

We turned so we could look at the town. I could only hope I can spot Claire's horse or something that tells me that she is here still. 

"Let's hope she's here." I then turned back to look at Arthur. "So I can prove to you that John really is my brother. I don't know why you can't just take my word. Save us all the trouble. You even said yourself that I resemble him."

"Yeah, I also remember sayin' that I kinda see the resemblence." He scoffed at that, turning to look at me. "The more I know, the better. If you really say he's your brother, you wouldn't have a problem with doin' this."

"I don't have a problem. I- I just don't get along with my aunt and we had a bad arguement before I went out lookin' for my brother." I told him as I turned back to look at the town. "Trust me, I didn't want to be stuck doin' this because I was known as Daisy. Now that I found out who I really am, things changed. They always do." I sighed. 

"You do realise whether he is your brother or not, I'm gonna have to take you back to my camp. If you ain't his sister, I'm gonna have to get you tied up until we figure out what to do with you." He told me. His voice sounded like millions of knives piercing my skin.

I have got to be honest, this man terrifies me but I can't let him see my weakness. He'd probably take that as an advantage to get rid of me for good. But, if I can prove to him that John Marston is my brother, then would things change? Would he apologize? 

"Fine by me." I told him, shrugging my shoulders, trying to act calm. "Anyway, I'm gonna go ask around for Claire. You can wait for me in the saloon. Make conversation with folks so you ain't suspicious.'

I heard him groan at that. "I don't know why I'm doin' this." He whispered mostly to himself. "You could be trickin' me for all I know."

"Just take my word then, cowboy. Trust me, all I want is to see my brother." I told him as I started to walk down the road.

I'm going to stop at every store, ask around for Claire. It seems like I've been in a chase all day. 

Which I have been. 

Still, it's exhausting to say the least. 

I stopped at the doctors, no one seen her. 

I stopped at the gunsmith, still no one seen her. 

I even went into the saloon where Arthur was and I did not see her. 

I went to turn around to walk out the door when someone called my name. 

"Jill, you're back. Damn, it's odd to call you that."

I turned back around to see James standing there. 

"Hey, James." I greeted him with a small smile. 

"I see you found Arthur." He tilted his head to the side in the direction where Arthur was sitting. He was talking to some feller, also drinking a whiskey with him.

"Yeah, it's a long story. I'm lookin' for Claire now because the bastard doesn't believe that I'm John's sister." I scowled over in Arthur's direction. 

"Well, there's not much proof there. Is that why you're looking for Claire? To get her to tell you the truth again?" James said, scratching the back of his neck. 

I turned back to him. "Yeah, but Arthur's gonna listen. He can't exactly be there directly in front of her when we talk." I sighed. "I'm exhausted."

"You look it." He told me. "Now that you mention it, I did see Claire at the hotel. You can stop by there and see if she's there."

I then hugged James tightly. "Thank you! You were a big help in this." I stepped back, giving him a grin. 

"Don't mention it. Just, ya know, be careful, alright?" He said, giving me a grin of his own. 

I nodded. "Always am careful." I then turned around to walk out the door when James called out again. 

"I'll believe it when I see it!"

I chuckled to myself as I walked down the stairs and headed straight towards the hotel. 

That was when I ran into Claire. 

"Jill?" She asked, shocked. "I'm suprised to see you're still here. I thought you'd gone off and make a stupid mistake."

I shook my head. "No, I'm still here. C- can we talk more about my past? About John? I want to sit down and have a drink as well, if you don't mind."

She squinted her eyes at me. "You were mad last time we talked."

"Yeah, I was mad. Folks get like that. When they're mad, they go out to catch a breather. I've been calmed down now, though." I told her, motioning for her to walk up into the saloon. 

She stood there for a long moment before giving in and started to walk up the stairs. I followed suit. 

I sure hope this is the answer Arthur wants. All I want is to meet my brother. If I have to fight through flames to get to him, then so be it. I'll burn to death trying to see him. 

Once we entered, I found a spot in the back. When Claire wasn't looking, I would take glances at Arthur. At first he was laughing with the guy, but when he seen me he said his goodbyes to the man and lingered around Claire and I. 

"You sit down, I'll go get the drinks." I told her and she sat down. 

I went to the counter, grabbed two beers and walked back to the table. I handed her the beer and opened my own as I sat down across from her. 

"So, are you here to apologize? You do know that gang isn't nothing to mess around with." She told me as she opened up her own beer and took a sip. 

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm sorry." I stared at her. "Look, I just want to know. John Marston really is my brother?"

She nodded as I took a sip of my drink. I quickly glanced past her shoulder to see Arthur leaned up against the wall crossing his arms, his hat covering his face. 

"Yes, he's your brother. I already told you. Why would I make that up?" She said, shaking her head. 

"It came as news to me. You have to understand." I told her. "After all, I am the one who was lied to all my life."

"And I apologized. I'm just glad you didn't go out to find him. That is not the place your father would want you." She took another sip of her beer as did I. 

"It's gonna take a while to forgive you." I said, setting my beer down to the side. "What was John like?" That question came out unintentional, but like Arthur said, the more he knows the better. 

"He was a sweet boy. He wouldnt remember you. Or me. Or Joseph." She sighed, looking down at the bottle in her hands. "Your real father left with him a week after Joseph offered them the shed. Left at midnight. Never to be seen again."

"Then how did you know John was my brother?"

"Your real father talked about him the whole week he stayed with us. We learned the last name, Jill. He wasn't just some stranger, especially since something good came out of it." She then looked up at me. "You."

I frowned, staring past her shoulder again to see Arthur looking straight at me. 

He nodded, his mouth slightly opened. 

I then looked back at Claire, taking a deep breath. "That's all I needed to know."

I then stood up, nodded at Arthur and turned around. 

"What? Jill, what on earth are you talking about?"

It was at that moment when I heard James' voice. 

"Claire! It's good to see you again! How have you been?"

That made me smirk as I left the saloon, hearing Claire's frustrated groans. 

"James, we seen each other just hours ago!"

I rounded the saloon to go straight to my house and not long after, Arthur was walking alongside me. 

"So you are his sister?"

"I told you."

"I guess I can take you to my camp, then. That's if you'll go with me." He said as we approached our horses just outside of my house. 

"Of course. I want to see my brother." I told him as we unhitched our horses and mounted them. "You owe me." He then chuckled, nodding his head. 

"Jill! Where are you going with-"

When Arthur and I turned our horses, Claire was standing there, shocked. 

"Arthur Morgan?" She gasped, an angered look settled on her face. 

He tipped his hat with a smirk. 

"Thank you, Claire. I needed that." I told her as I also tipped my hat and both Arthur and I clicked our tongues and spurred our horses off towards the road that lead us out of Valentine. 

"I can't believe you're Marston's sister." He laughed, shaking his head. "I'm gonna get a kick out of it when I see the look on that boy's face."

"I actually can't believe this is happenin'." I told him, also laughing. But nervously. 

"Me neither."

Then a rush of uneasiness coursed through the blood inside my veins. What am I getting myself into? 

I am gonna walk into a den of outlaws. How will they think of me? I know Arthur believes me now, but how will his fellow gang members react to me? 

After twenty six years, the sister of John Marston will be walking into his life for the first time. Walking into his camp for the first time. 

How will he react to this truth? Will he be mad? Will he be excited? 

I'm scared. 

I'm so scared that I abruptly pulled Lychee to a stop. 

"Hold on, Arthur. Stop. I can't breathe." I said as I dismounted Lychee. 

"You okay?" He said, stopping his own horse. 

I held onto my chest as I felt my limbs begin to grow numb. 

"Arthur, how will your people react? What if they don't believe me?" I said as I leaned onto Lychee. 

I heard Arthur's feet hit the ground and walk towards me. I then felt a hand on my shoulder. 

"I'm goin' to be the one to tell 'em all. You ain't got to be scared. We're bad men, but we still have some dignity left." He told me, trying to cheer me up I guess. "I'ma get you to meet your brother, alright? He's there."

I kept breathing fast, feeling my heart beat against my ribs every second. "Do you think he'll believe you?"

Arthur scoffed. "He better. Or else I'll have to lay into him again."

What does that mean? 

But, all in all, I should be thankful that Arthur believed me and is now going to help me. 

That caused me to calm down a little, turning around to face Arthur. 

Now that we are standing face to face, I noticed he's much taller than me. I notice the scars on his nose and chin seeing that he's shaved. His eyes are much clearer now and the brightest I have ever seen on a man. 

Stop

My mind told me. 

"Okay. Let's go." I said, clearing my throat as I turned back around and mounted Lychee. 

Not long after, Arthur walked over to his horse and mounted up as well and we took off, once again. 

I'm hoping Claire didn't catch up. If she did, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. 

We headed south of Valentine. 

Arthur had told me that they stay in Horseshoe Overlook. 

It was a ride to get here, but I didn't mind. The view is as perfect as it gets. I seen a couple deer run and rabbits hop. The birds were in perfect view flying across the clear blue sky. 

"Alright. It'll be down the trail to the right here." He pointed to a path where it had a broken tree making an arch over the trail. Looks very inviting. 

The path was surrounded by trees and bushes. All of wildlife. 

Once we have followed it, his camp came into view. 

"Who's there?"

A female's voice reached my ears. 

"It's Arthur." He said as I seen the woman standing there just outside of the camp. 

"Who the hell is that, Arthur? Have you moved on from that Mary?" The woman said as she slung a carbine over her shoulder. She walked beside us as we walked right up to the camp. 

I took a good look at the camp. There were tents and wagons set to be made as beds and carrying what seems like supplies and stuff. There were hitchposts just near the camp, quite a good amount of horses too. There seemed to be a chuckwagon with all kinds of food and a food pot sat just next to it. Not to mention that I am dying of starvation. There were also two campfires. One in the camp and one off to the side with logs and maybe a chair or two sitting around them. There was a chicken coop as well. 

I wonder just how many people are here with this many wagons and tents. Actually, there were only two big covered tents and quite a few smaller tents with bedrolls sitting underneath. There were also plywoods with bedrolls sitting on them next to a couple wagons with large cloths hanging overhead for protection from the rain or whatever. 

"Karen, please don't ask me that question ever again." Arthur told this Karen woman as he dismounted his horse in front of a hitchpost. "But this is Jill Marston."

The Karen woman nearly dropped the carbine once she heard that. 

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and counted to three before also dismounting my horse. He tied his to the hitchpost and so did I and we regrouped together adding Karen to the circle. 

"She's a Marston? How the hell-"

"Yes, she's a Marston." Arthur said, looking around. "Where is John anyway?"

Karen kept staring at me. Looking me up and down. Now that I'm on the ground and I can get a good look at her, she looks like a rock solid woman. Her weight was a little on the heavy side but it fits her so well. Her hair was blonde and short, shoulder length. Her skin was a bit pale but it brought out the color in her eyes. 

"Karen." Arthur said, more aggressively to get her attention. 

She shook her head and turned to him. "She does look a bit like Marston. She a cousin or somethin'?"

"Forget it. I'll just look for him." He gently grabbed my elbow and showed me into camp. "And no, she's his twin sister. Jesus."

"I'll be damned." I heard her from a distance as we entered his camp. 

He let go of my elbow, but I continued to follow him through the camp. 

I can also feel tons of eyes on me. I just felt like running out, but I am no coward. It's just that I have never walked into a den of outlaws before. 

There's a new change for everything like pa always told me. 

He's probably looking down on me and thinking what a horrible mistake he made adopting me. 

I shook those thoughts out of my head as we reached a big, white covered tent. 

"Dutch, where's John?" Arthur asked as the said man sitting inside the tent looked up from his book and took a glance at me. 

Is this the infamous Dutch van der Linde? 

That was a dumb question. 

He is the infamous Dutch van der Linde. 

And he was with Arthur the day Arthur beat up Tommy. 

"Arthur? Who is this?" He asked as he stood, never taking his eyes off of me. 

I have not spoken since I got here and if I don't ever speak, then they'll think that I'm weak. 

So I stood firm, staring into Dutch's eyes. "I'm Jill Marston. Twin sister of John Marston."

He furrowed his eyebrows before turning to Arthur. "Is this true?" 

I looked over to Arthur and he nodded at Dutch. "Overheard her conversation with her aunt."

"I have my father's journal too if you want to take a look at it. Not my biological father." I told Dutch. "It doesn't tell you about John, but it does help the situation a little more. I just found out a week ago about my brother. I'll do whatever it takes to make you believe me that he's my brother."

He nodded. "I believe you. If Arthur vouches for you, then I take your word." He held his hand out. "I haven't got to introduce myself to you properly. I am Dutch van der Linde." I took his hand and shook it. "My God, this is a big thing." He laughed as if he couldn't believe it himself. "Who would have thought that John had a twin sister?"

"Yeah, I'm sure it is shockin' news." I blew out an air of relief as we dropped our hands. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but would you mind tellin' me where he-"

"Is it true?"

A raspy voice was heard from behind me. 

I turned around to see a man with shoulder-length brown hair. He has large scars on the side of his face and one ran across his nose. 

He walked closer to us, his face looked more puzzled than I'd ever seen on a person. "Is it true? Y- you're my twin sister?"

I realised the folks in this camp are pretty nosy since now they are surrounding us. 

"You're John?" I asked, my voice beginning to crack as my emotions tries to break the wall that's holding them back. 

Once he nodded, I nearly lost my footing as my legs became numb. I had to hold onto a nearby chair to stand up. 

Arthur quickly came to me though and grabbed my elbow, helping me up to stand on my feet.

By the time I am standing straight, my vision had become blurry and I felt the tears made their way down my cheeks. 

"Yes, I'm your twin sister, John." I swallowed a sob and stepped closer to him. "Jill Marston."

A woman behind him that was carrying a little boy gasped. "Y'all do look alike!" She called out, surprised. Her hair was dark black and tied up in a messy bun. 

Once she stated that, everyone in the camp seemed to agree as they started mumbling, nodding their heads. 

I hesitated to step forward towards John. I had this moment planned out, but now that it's actually happening, I don't know what to do. 

"I'm so glad I found you." I sniffled as I am finally face to face with my brother. I reached my hand out and touched the scars on his face, frowning at it. "I'm sorry I haven't found out sooner."

"Is this a dream or is this real?" John asked, confused as hell, causing me to laugh as more tears fell. 

"It's real, you dumbass." Arthur said from behind me.

"It's definitely news to all of us." Dutch came up and touched my shoulder, causing me to turn and look up at him. "Welcome to the family, Jill Marston." He gave me a smile. 

I returned the smile before turning back to John who was completely speechless. Dutch had let go of my shoulder to give us some time. 

"D- do you want to catch up or somethin'?" John finally asked, hesitantly.

I nodded. 

"Come. Everyone, leave these two to catch up. Come on now." An older woman in the camp started to shoo everyone away. Her hair was up in a large bun. The color was brown with a white streak going up it. 

I turned back to John and smiled. 

I finally found my brother. 

John and I left camp and went down to a river nearby. Their camp was set up at an actual cliff, so all John and I had to do was go down a path that leads to the Dakota river. 

We hitched our horses to a tree next to the water so they could get something to drink while John and I sat down on the sand not too far from the horses. 

"Your horse's name is Old Boy?" I laughed, picking at a stick. 

"At least I didn't name him Lychee. Whatever the hell that is." He chuckled, shaking his head. 

"It's a fruit." I continued to laugh with my brother. 

Soon, we both sighed at the same time. 

"It's crazy, ain't it? I got a twin sister. Who'd have thought?" He said as he took off his hat and set it on his crossed legs. 

I nodded. "Yeah. It don't seem real."

"No, it doesn't." He said. "How did you find out?"

I sighed, looking down at the now broken stick I had. "I didn't exactly find out. Claire, she's my adopted aunt, she gave me my adopted father's journal. Which I have on me." I took it out of my satchel and handed it to him. "It don't really have your name. But it has mine. I used to be Daisy Lockwood before I was told I'm Jill Marston. Claire actually told me about our father and how I'm related to you. She didn't want me knowin' 'cause you're an outlaw." I looked over at him in time for him to look at me. "But I had to come find you, otherwise it'd be a waste if I didn't. I just found out about you, I didn't want to miss the chance to actually meet you."

I watched him bite the inside of his cheek as he nodded. "Well, I'm glad you did. If you didn't, I'd have gone my whole life without knowing' anything about you." Then he furrowed his brows. "Wait, how did she know about me 'til this day? How does she know I'm an outlaw? I've never met anybody by the name of Claire."

I gulped, looking back down at my hands. "She's a Pinkerton." I told him. 

"What? She doesn't know-"

"She doesn't know where y'all are hold up at." I turned back to look at him. "She didn't want me comin' to find you. But, I'm glad that I did."

He nodded. "Me too. But, there's gonna be a lot more trouble now."

"If there is, I'd like to be by your side, brother." I told him, smiling and he returned one. 

"Shit, let's face 'em together then." He said. His smile was the most precious thing I've seen. 

I then looked over the river and noticed the sun was setting. The orange and yellow color reflected off of the water. Looks like a pretty painting. 

"What are they like?" I asked him. 

"Who? Everyone in camp?" He asked and I nodded. "Well, for starters, Arthur's a real jackass."

I laughed, nodding my head. "I witnessed it first hand. I held him up at gunpoint."

"You did not?" He laughed. 

"Yep, sure did. Once I found out he was the Arthur Morgan who ran with the same gang as you, I had to do whatever it takes to make him take me to you. I had to trick Claire into tellin' me that you're my brother again to prove that to Arthur." I laughed hard. "It was fun, though."

"I'm sure it was." He finished laughing. "Come on, let's introduce you to everyone. I'm sure they'd have a blast tellin' you stories about me."

"Speakin' of stories, what happened to your face?" I looked over back at him and stared at his scars. 

He groaned. "Well, if it aint me, it'll be someone else." He said. "Wolves attacked me in the Grizzlies."

I gasped. "Really? Wasn't there a bad winter storm up there?"

"I managed. Arthur and Javier found me, thankfully. Otherwise, I'd have been wolf food or a frozen corpse." He said, chuckling. 

"Yeah, thankfully for them." I told him, shaking my head. Then, a question I've been meaning to ask popped into my head. "John, Claire told me that our father took you. How long have you been with him?"

He looked over to the side. "He died when I was eight years old. I was told he died in a bar fight."

I frowned. I can't really be upset about someone's death who I didn't really know. But it upsets me that I never got to meet him. "What was he like?"

He chuckled as if remembering a good memory. "He was an illiterate Scottish immigrant. He always talked about Scotland, showed how much he loved it, but he died before even completin' his dream."

"We're Scottish?" I asked and he nodded, causing me to smile but it was only for a short while when the thought of John running the streets alone at a young age popped up in my mind. "Were you alone all these years? Before you ran with Dutch?"

"I was sent to an orphanage." He sighed, adjusting his seating position. "I stayed there for a few years. I didn't like it there so I ran away. I was twelve when Dutch brought me in." He smiled at the memory, nodding his head. "I owe him my life, literally."

I smiled as well, not going to question what he meant by that, so instead I started thanking Dutch inside my thoughts. "Dutch did good, then."

"Come on." He grabbed his hat, placed it on his head, stood up and reached his hand out for me. "Since you're with us now, you might as well introduce yourself and get to know everyone."

I grabbed his hand and he helped me up. "It was nice chattin' with you and catchin' up with you."

"Yeah, it was." He told me as we walked back to the horses. "By the way, we're gonna have to have a talk with Dutch and tell him that Claire woman is a Pinkerton."

I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek. "Okay. Yeah, we should."

I feel like now that I found John, a big storm is coming. 

And not the kind that causes the rain and wind. I mean a whole heap of trouble that'll come. But if I'm fighting them by my brother's side, then I feel like we can overcome anything. 

I finally found him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Daisy/Jill had finally met her long lost brother!! 
> 
> Let me know if you loved his reaction! If you didn't, you can suggest how I should make it if what I wrote didn't seem too real or too exciting! 
> 
> I hope you all love this chapter! There's plenty more to come!


	4. Unexpected Visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is pretty much canon. This chapter takes place in the mission from the original game "A Fisher of Men".
> 
> I hope you all love this and where I am going with it :) I'm really excited to show you all what I have cooking up! 
> 
> Please, enjoy!

"Happy birthday, Daisy!" Pa said as he placed a volcanic pistol on the table in front of me. 

I picked it up and noticed the white and gold, perfectly cleaned as if it was brand new. 

It even have an engraving that looked like waves. From the frame to the barrel. 

The handle was white and carved onto it was a lion looking off to the side. 

I looked up at pa and grinned widely. "Thank you, pa. I love it."

He pat my shoulder. "You're seventeen now, Daisy. You're a beautiful grown woman. Enjoy it." He smiled down at me. 

"It means a lot." I stood up and gave him a tight hug. 

"I'm so proud of you." He told me as we broke the hug. He pulled back, but held both his hands on my shoulders. "I want you to know that you can do anything, alright? I know you trust your instinct."

I nodded, still having that wide ass grin on my face. "I learn a lot from my old man. I promise you, pa, I will never disappoint you."

He chuckled as he lowered his hands. "You never do." He then walked over to the counter that's sitting just below the window and opened the drawer. He pulled out a box of bullets, came up to me and placed the box on the table. "Come on. No use in givin' you a gun and not shoot it. This is to protect yourself from any danger, Daisy."

I picked up the box and placed it into my satchel. "Thank you, pa."

"Don't thank me." He then pointed at the pistol that is in my hand. "I look at that gun as the 'good luck' pistol. I've only shot it once in my youth."

My eyes widened with shock. "Wait, it was your gun, pa? I thought it was new."

He nodded, chuckling again. "New to you, yes. To me? No. I favored that gun and now it is yours to hold onto. Take extra care of it."

My eyes welled up with tears as I gave my father a big embrace. 

"I will, pa. I promise you."

It has been a good three days since I found my brother.

The gang brought me in with kind and open arms and I never felt so happy in my life. 

I had my tent set up near the chicken coop. I didn't mind, in fact I love chickens. I placed my bedroll inside of my tent and they were nice enough to give me an extra crate and lantern to put inside as well. 

One of these days I should sell the house. But for now, I can't go back to Valentine. Not after Claire has been there. 

Anyway, I already met everyone in camp except for some guy named Josiah Trelawny who apparently comes and goes whenever he pleases. 

So, the day John and I came back from that river, I got to know everyone. 

Even Abigail and my nephew, Jack. 

Once I found out I had a nephew, I nearly screamed with joy. It sucks I missed four years of his life, but I am here now. 

But something I heard really upsets me. 

Arthur told me how he punched John when he disappeared for a year after Jack was born. When he came back into the camp, Arthur was so mad he punched him square in the jaw. Until this day, John is still having problems with coming to terms with it. I even hear him and Abigail argue from time to time. 

It's kind of sad. So, I try to make up for it even though it's not my fault that John is the way he is. 

I was sitting at the table, eating my stew when I overheard Abigail talking to Arthur. 

"Can I ask you a favor?" I watched her stand up in front of her bedroll and wiped her hands on her skirt. 

"Probably not." He told her, scratching his chin. 

I feel bad for listening to their conversation, but they are near me after all. 

"Very funny." She chuckled and continued her conversation as Arthur started to walk off and she followed. "Would you do somethin' with Jack?-"

That was all I heard before they went out of earshot. 

So, I finished my stew, placed the bowl in the wash basin and walked over towards them. 

This can be my chance to get to bond with my nephew. 

I walked over to where they are standing near a rock as Abigail was in the midst of talking. 

"Because he likes you and, well, you know his father's useless."

Now that made me furrow my brows, but I can't really be mad at her. I wasn't here during my brother's whole life. So, I couldn't really do anything except embarrass myself if I tried to defend him. 

I watched Arthur scoff and look to the side. "Okay."

"Thank you." She told him and turned around to walk away. But she stopped when she seen me. "Jill, how are you doin'?"

I smiled, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm doin' alright. Sorry, I overheard your conversation. I wouldnt mind spendin' some time with Jack." I looked over at Arthur who seems to want to stay. I thought me saving him the trouble would make him go off and do his thing. 

That didn't happen. 

"Great! You sure you don't mind?" She asked and I shook my head. 

"No, I don't mind. It will give us some bondin' time." I told her. 

"I'll come with y'all. Just in case somethin' happens." Arthur stepped in, holding his gunbelt with both hands. 

"I can do things on my own, Arthur." I told him chuckling. Abigail already said her thanks and left before I started talking again. "I'm not just a girl. I'm a woman who, if you haven't noticed, dresses like a man. I know how to take care of myself."

He shrugged. "You never know. Bad things could happen without you even realisin' it."

"That's true." I told him as I spotted Jack playing in a bush on the other side of camp. So, I started walking towards him with Arthur in tow. "Besides, I heard you was supposed to do somethin' with John. Why ain't you doin' that?"

"Abigail interrupted that. I'll do that thing when I finish fishin' with Jack."

I chuckled. "You mean when I finish fishin' with Jack."

We both approached Jack and also spoke at the same time. 

"What you up to?"

Both Arthur and I immediatly look at each other, furrowing our brows. 

"Um, playing." Jack's little sweet voice spoke, causing me to look over at him and kneel down. 

"Do you want to go fishin', Jack?" I asked, smiling down at him and soon Arthur kneeled down as well. 

"Fishing?" Jack looked back and forth between Arthur and I. 

"Sure. It's about time you started to earn your keep."

I looked over at Arthur as he talked and I couldn't help but admire how he's trying to help, even though I can take Jack fishing on my own. 

I guess I can let Arthur come with this one time. Abigail did ask him and not me after all. 

Besides, Arthur has a sweet side to him even though he is a mean old bastard. He doesn't want to admit it, but I know he cares about John. 

"Then come on." I smiled at the both of them as I stood. "Let's all go fishin'. Do you have a fishin' pole, Jack?"

"I sure do." Jack said as he and Arthur also stood up. "Uncle Hosea made me one."

Soon, Arthur looked over at me. "Do you have a fishin' pole?"

Oh, I didn't think about that. I was so wrapped up in wanting to bond with Jack that I didn't even think about a fishing pole. 

How could you go fishing without a pole? 

"I- uh," I cleared my throat, kicking the ground as I looked down at my feet. "I don't have one." I then looked at the two and waved them off dismissively. "Y'all go ahead. I didn't think this through."

"No, ma'am." Arthur said as he walked away back into camp. 

"Arthur, what are you doin'?" I asked as I watched him disappear into John's tent. 

Not even seconds after he came out with a fishing pole and walked up to Jack and I, handing it to me. 

"That's John's. I'm sure he wouldnt mind you usin' it. You are his sister." He smirked at me and nodded his head once. 

I took it gracefully. "Thank you, Arthur."

"You better be nice to me for now on, woman." He told me as we walked towards the horses. 

"I can't promise you that." I laughed and he did as well. 

We told Jack to grab his fishing pole and then we'll set off trotting down to the river. 

Arthur had Jack on his horse as we made our way down the path towards the river. The same path John and I took when I first came here. The weather was fresh and the chilly air pricked at my skin. It felt nice, though. The Heartlands was always good for decent weather. Even when it rains, it's comforting and calming. 

We arrived at the Dakota river and stopped our horses underneath the same tree John and I hitched our horses at that day. 

"Alright, let's start fishin'." Arthur said as he helped Jack off his horse and handed him his fishing pole before dismounting. 

I couldn't stop smiling. I'm out here bonding with my nephew who's as cute as a button. 

I dismounted my horse and grabbed John's fishing pole and unfolded it so it's sticking out. 

"This looks like a good spot, right, Jack?" Arthur said with enthusiasm in his voice as I watched them both walk to the river bed. 

I joined Jack's side and we all put bait onto the hook. Then right on three, we casted out our lines into the river. 

I watched Arthur and Jack as Arthur tried teaching him how to fish. Jack isn't enjoying it, mostly because it was boring. 

And fishing is boring, but like Arthur said, it feeds us. 

I kept smiling though. I never took Arthur as the family kind of man, but he's sure acting like it with Jack. 

It's really sweet. 

"Aunt Jill?"

I shook my head free of the thought of Arthur and looked down at Jack. 

"Yes, Jack?"

It makes me feel warm inside that Jack is calling me an aunt. I want to show this boy that I won't ever leave his side no matter what happens. 

"Can I pick some flowers? I want to make something for mama." He told me. 

I looked up at Arthur who was smiling and he gave me a nod of affirmation. So, I looked back towards Jack and smiled. 

"Yes. Here, let me help you pick some." I said as Jack and I reeled in our lines and folded up the poles. I looked around and pointed at a patch of flowers. "We can go there and pick some, Jack."

"Okay!" His sweet little voice was filled with excitement as he ran over to the patch of flowers I pointed at. 

I then looked over at Arthur and smiled. Maybe he isn't so bad after all. 

I turned around and walked over to where Jack was and started helping him pick some flowers for Abigail. 

"Aren't these pretty?" I asked him as we picked some red flowers. 

He then pulled out a thin vine from the ground and he started to take a red flower one by one and began slipping the vine through each one. 

"Mama's gonna love it." He then looked over at me with a smile. "I can make you one too if you want, aunt Jill."

I shook my head, grinning at him. "No, it's fine, Jack. Your mama is gonna love it."

"I know." He nodded his head and went back to sticking the flowers onto the vine. Every once and a while I'd hear Arthur still teaching Jack about fishing even though the boy is too busy with the flowers, but that made me smile when Jack would answer back. 

Where were they during my life? 

These folks may be a gang of outlaws, but they aren't all that bad. It's been three days and I already feel at home. I found my brother, I found out I have a nephew. Things are looking up. 

The thing I do not want to admit, though, is that something is about to go down. Now that I am one of them, I'm gonna have to fight alongside them as well. 

I don't want to sit at camp all day every day doing dishes and washing clothes. I want to go on jobs. I want to help make some money for the gang. 

I just been waiting for the perfect moment to ask. 

I can shoot. I can hunt. I never shot a man, but I have been practicing for the day I was gonna have to. 

And that day may come soon as long as I am with these folks. 

"Uncle Arthur, aunt Jill, look at what I made for mama."

Jack's voice broke me out of my thoughts as he held up the now finished homemade necklace he made for Abigail. 

I then heard Arthur walk up and kneel down next to me and in front of Jack. 

"Wow, look at that." He said, smiling.

"It's so beautiful, Jack." I told him, patting his back. 

And then an unwanted voice reached our ears. 

"What a fine young man."

Arthur and I both stood up, cautious as we turned and looked over at the source.

"And in such complex circumstances."

Two men were dressed familiar to the clothes Claire wears. If these men are who I think they are, then I may be in trouble.

The two of them had dismounted their horses and walked up to us. One of them had a pair of gloves on and wore a black bowler hat with a red, I think, ribbon wrapped around it? The other one carried a rifle and also had a black bowler hat. 

The man with the gloves on wore a red shirt with his tie tucked behind it. The other one had a red vest and also a tie. 

And they both wore badges. 

Shit. Did Claire really follow us and told them where we are hold up at? 

"Arthur, isn't it? Arthur Morgan?"

Jack stood up and I stood guard in front of him, holding my arm out to protect him. But Arthur already had an instinct to protect the boy the way he's standing in front of both of us, also holding his hand back, keeping the two of us protected. 

"Who are you?" Arthur asked, cautiously. Voice, completely different from the tone of he had earlier. This one's more violent as if trying to scare his prey away. 

"Yes, Arthur Morgan." The man who wore the gloves spoke. I knew nothing could ever stay good for long. "Van der Linde's most trusted associate." He continued speaking as he turned to his partner. "You've read the files, typical case. Orphaned street kid seduced by that maniac's silver tongue and matures into a degenerate murderer."

He then locked eye contact with me and I prayed to the good Lord above that he does not recognize me. My fist was curled up into a ball and I squeezed tightly until my nails dug into my palm. 

He then placed his hand on his chest and spoke again. "Agent Milton." He then moved his hand to his partner. "Agent Ross."

I actually blew out an air of relief when he didn't recognize me or that he didn't even talk to me. But what he said next, I knew I was right about them.

"Pinkerton Detective Agency." Then the two of them started walking closer, smirking. "Seconded to the United States Government." They were now closer up to us, maybe eight feet away from Arthur. "Nice to finally meet. We know a lot about you."

"Do you?" Arthur's voice was rough and nearly filled with venom as his arm is still outstretched in front of us just in case we needed the protection. 

"You're a wanted man, Mr. Morgan." Milton said as he placed both his hands on his belt, slouching back a little. "There's five thousand dollars for your head alone."

What!? Five thousand dollars!? 

"Five thousand dollars?" Arthur shifted around a little. "For me?" He then looked back at me and Jack and turned back to the men. "Can I turn myself in?"

I really wanted to laugh at that, but this was no joking matter. Arthur apparently thinks it is though. 

"We want Van der Linde." Milton told him, completely ignoring what Arthur had said. 

"Old Dutch?" Arthur asked as if he doesn't know where Dutch was. Little do these men know, Dutch is up on that cliff not too far from here. "I haven't seen him for months."

I then felt Jack's hand slip into my own and started to squeeze a little. My poor nephew is scared and I can't do anything right now but act as his cover and pray Arthur talks his way through this. 

"That so?" Milton questioned, clearly not believing the story Arthur is trying to make right now. "Because I hear," As Milton continued to talk, he took off his bowler hat and wiped some sweat off his forehead with his arm. "a guy fitting his description robbed a train belonging to Leviticus Cornwall up near Granite Pass." He then placed his hat back on his head and returned his hand to his belt. 

"Oh, ain't that a little old fashioned nowadays?" Arthur chuckled nervously. I can't tell if he's actually nervous or that he's joking. 

"Apparently not." Milton said. He then let go of his belt and raised both hands as he started walking forward. "Listen, this is my offer, Mr. Morgan." They both stopped about five feet away from Arthur, Milton's hands still raised. "Bring in Van der Linde and you have my word, you won't swing." He pointed at Arthur. 

"Oh, I ain't gonna swing anyway agent, um," Arthur took a quick glance at his feet as if trying to remember this man's name until Milton finished for him. 

"Milton."

"You see, I haven't done anything wrong." Arthur said in his tough, cowboy act. "Aside from not play the games to your rules."

Milton looked down as if that made him a little bit irritated.

"Spare me the philosophy lesson. I've already heard it." Milton looked back up at Arthur and shook his head. "From Mac Callender."

Arthur took a step forward. "Mac Callender?"

"He was pretty shot up by the time I got to him." Milton told him, real casually. "So really, it was more of a mercy killing. Slow, but merciful."

That really got to Arthur because I seen his whole body tense up as he was looking at the ground and then he violently threw his fishing pole down, staring up at Milton now. Ross then pointed his gun at Arthur and Jack squealed, causing me to move him farther behind me. 

"You enjoy bein' a rich man's toy, do you?"

Rage flew through Arthur as he was speaking. His voice much different from the other times I've heard. This seems more like the time I held him up at gunpoint. 

But worse. 

"I enjoy society." Milton spoke, his voice also shifting tone. "Flaws and all." Anger flashed through Milton's face, but not as bad as Arthur's. He then stepped closer to Arthur, almost damn near in his face. "Your people venerate savagery, and you will die, savagely." He put up a fist. "All of you." He then pointed at Arthur. 

"Oh, we're all gonna die, agent." Arthur said as Milton lowered his hand. 

"Some of us sooner than others." Milton spoke. With that, he turned around and began to walk away as Ross was still pointing his gun at us. "Good day, Mr. Morgan. And ma'am, you better leave while you-"

"Goodbye." Arthur interrupted him, his voice much calmer but more cautious now. 

Milton was already at his horse and Ross was backing up slowly with his gun still aiming. 

"Enjoy your fishin', kid." He lowered his gun and looked at me. "While you still can." He started laughing as they both mounted their horses and went along their way. 

Jack then walked past me and up to Arthur's side. 

"Who are they?" He pointed and Arthur soon held onto Jack's head gently and began moving him back to the horse and in the process he picked up his fishing pole. 

"Arthur." I stopped him by grabbing his arm and he looked back at me. "You don't think Claire-"

He shook his head. "No, they would've said somethin' to you. But, we need to get back. I have to tell Dutch."

I nodded my head as we put up our fishing poles, mounted the horses and went back up towards camp. 

Like I said, nothing good can stay forever. You can't enjoy one moment of peace without something ruining it for you. 

But I guess I asked for it by looking for my brother who runs with this gang. 

No regrets. 

I sat at the table in camp, twirling my hat around as Arthur spoke with Dutch in his tent. 

He's right. Those men would've said something if they knew me. But they didn't so that means Claire didn't follow us. 

They also didn't know where Dutch was. So, I think I'm in the clear. 

For now. 

"You look like you need a drink." Mary-Beth said as she sat down across from me. She's a really beautiful woman. Her skin was pale but her freckles and eyes make up for that. 

I then shook my head. "No. Just thinkin'. Right now's not the time to drink."

I watched her nod at that. "Well, if you ever want to go out for a drink, let me know. We can go to the saloon and-"

"I can't go back to Valentine. Especially if Claire is stayin' there." I sighed as I lowered my head. 

"Well, we can go-"

"Hold that thought, Mary-Beth." I cut her off as I seen Arthur step out of Dutch's tent and started walking towards the horses. "I'll talk to you soon. Sorry 'bout this."

That was when I placed my hat onto my head, stood up and started chasing him down. 

If I want to go on jobs with them, it's best I ask. The worst answer I can get is a no. 

"Arthur, where you goin'?" I asked him as he stopped at his horse and started to untether her. 

"Goin' to meet your brother about this job we're about to do." He told me as he moved to the side of his horse. 

"Let me join y'all." I said, following him. 

He stopped and looked at me. "No, no way in hell are you comin'."

He went to mount his horse but I quickly manuevered my way in front of him. Both of his hands were on his horse, but my head was sitting between his hands as I stared up at him. This caused us to be closer, but damn does this make my skin feel hot. 

"I'm comin' with y'all, Arthur. I know how to shoot, I know how to hunt. An extra gun won't hurt." I told him, staring into his deep blue eyes now that he's extremely close to me. 

"No. Your brother won't let you in on this if it means riskin' your life. I don't doubt that you can shoot a gun, mostly how you dress, but I don't want you gettin' yourself hurt." His face softened for a quick moment before turning back into the tough outlaw he is. "John ain't gonna let that happen to you."

He then gently pushed me out of the way, but I held onto his arm. 

He instantly turned back to look at me with an irritated look on his face. 

"I am my own woman, Arthur. I know how to take care of myself." I told him, serious as I can get. "I've been livin' on my own since my father- erm, since Joseph died. Look, y'all don't have to give me a cut. But let me in on this. I can prove to you that I can do a man's job."

He stared at my hand first that was clenching the shirt sleeve that covered his arm and then moved his gaze up to my face. 

For a few seconds I have noticed a type of look in his eyes. The type I don't normally see on a man. 

But as it quickly came, it quickly left too before he nodded, turning away from me and shaking my hand off of his arm. 

"Alright, fine. But John's gonna take care of ya if you get hurt." He said as he mounted his horse. 

I nodded and quickly went over to Lychee and untethered him before mounting him excitedly. 

"Don't you worry, Arthur. I can take care of myself. Joseph taught me a lot." I told him as we left the wooded path and out into open land. 

"You do remember holdin' me at gunpoint, don't you?" He said, causing me to snicker. "I know you can take care of yourself, but doin' so requires a lot of work."

"Yep. I sure do remember and I can do this. My word hasn't been wrong so far, right?"

"I guess not."

It's time to show them that I can earn my keep by not just washing dishes and clothes all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it :) the next chapter will take place in the mission "Pouring Forth Oil Part 4". I hope you enjoy that one as well :)
> 
> Let me know in the comments if I have made a mistake or if anything needs any work :)


	5. When The Sun Goes Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit insecure about my writing on this one lol I tried to make the sequence much more lively and pretty dramatic. 
> 
> I hope you like this one! I had to go over it a lot :)

I stood there, aiming my pistol at a couple of bottles sitting on top of the logs in the forest. 

I only got one out of five, but I'm getting there. I had only just got this pistol two weeks ago on my birthday so it's taking it's time of getting used to.

"Mind if I give it a shot?"

I turned my head to see a man leaning up against a tree. He was twirling a full on black revolver with gold engraved onto it.

He wore a hat with a darker shade of blue. His clothes seemed to look like a rancher's outfit. 

His face was perfectly aligned and black locks of hair were sticking out from underneath his hat. 

But when I looked into his eyes, my heart nearly skipped a beat. They were narrowed with the color of honey surrounding his pupils. 

Need I mention that his voice was soothing as ever and his lips were thin. Even when they moved I couldn't help but imagine what it'd be like to kiss them. 

"You alright, ma'am?"

I nodded, shaking my head out of this reverie with a smile. "Yeah, sorry. Go ahead."

He looked down and smiled before sauntering over to me with one thumb looped through his pant pocket while his other hand held onto that revolver. 

He stood next to me, aimed his revolver and took a shot. 

Bang! 

The sound of shattering glass reached my ears and I turned to the bottles. 

Now standing there were three more.

"You're really good." I told him. 

He chuckled. "It's been a while since I've shot a gun. It felt good."

I turned to him with a smile. "Daisy Lockwood." I then held out my hand. 

He used his free hand and grabbed my own and brought it up to his lips, looking straight up into my eyes. "Nathan Clark."

I giggled as his lips touched the top of my hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Clark."

"Just call me Nathan." He said as he lowered my hand back down to my side. "You wanna go get a drink?"

I nodded as I holstered my pistol. "Yes, I do."

He held his arm out and I looped my very own arm through his and we soon walked out of the forest. 

A little romance goes a long way.

Arthur and I were trotting down the road, the sound of birds chirping flew above us. It's almost close to night with the way the sky was in pretty orange and red colors. "What you name your horse, by the way?"

"Athena." He told me as he took a glance at me. 

"Athena? That's a pretty name. Like the goddess, right?"

He nodded. "Yup. I always thought it fit her."

"See? I ain't the only one who sees the horse's personality and name 'em based on how they act." I chuckled to myself as I looked forward. 

"What's Lychee then?"

"It's a fruit." I told him. "It's a fruit that's hard on the outside but a softy on the inside. Like this horse here that you have sold to me what seemed like forever ago." I looked over at him and smiled. 

He also gave me a smile of his own. "Well, I guess that fits him then."

"I remember you was questionin' his name a while back so I take it you was just teasin' me." I said as I looked forward once again. 

"I guess I was."

I rolled my eyes, smiling to myself. 

What is this warm feeling that's coursing through me? 

I hate to admit it and I don't want to, but I think Arthur may be more handsome than my mind may lead me to think.

I only felt like that with one other man and he's long been gone. 

Five years now since he has walked out of my life.

Then, out of all the men I have met, Arthur's made me feel like this. 

I hate the feeling. I hate feeling it towards an outlaw and I hate feeling it towards my brother's friend. 

Actually, if I remember right, they are like brother's. 

I can't. I can't think about him like that. 

And Christ, I've only known him for what, a little more than three days? Except the two times we ran into each other before. I just don't know him that well to even have these thoughts.

Stop it. You're going on a job, Jill. Don't ruin it. 

"We're almost there."

Arthur's voice broke me out of my thoughts. I hope he doesn't think something's wrong since I've been quiet the whole ride here. I don't want him thinking I am unreliable. 

I am reliable. 

I just had a few moments in my head. That's all. 

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a gunshot. The closer we got, the louder the gunshots became. 

Once we stopped near this wagon with an oil tank on it and the torn down building next to it, we realised who was shooting the gun. 

Sean MacGuire. The Irish fella who always loves to crack jokes and make inappropriate comments. 

Which I found funny. 

Arthur and I dismounted our horses and walked over to where Sean was standing, still shooting off his gun. But only this time, we knew what he was shooting at. 

Bottles. They were standing up on the foundation of the torn down building. 

"Well, at least it ain't your job." Arthur chuckles as we stood behind Sean, watching him miss a shot on one of the bottles. 

"Ah shut up, Arthur." He looked back and took a glance at me before turning back to take another shot, hitting a bottle this time. 

"Yeah, your job's startin' the fight, it ain't winnin' 'em." Arthur said as he walked up a little more to Sean's side. 

"I can scrap, Arthur. I'm just no good at homework." He took another shot at a bottle and missed. 

"I can see." Arthur said but Sean quickly spoke up. 

"Besides, what do you care, Englishman? You've got no time for me." Sean said, turning to look at Arthur. 

I'm having a fun time watching these two. Arthur held onto his gunbelt, a funny look to his face and Sean looks to be offended. It's really exciting. These two always bickering. 

"I tried to find you work but then you're off cuttin' jobs with other folks." He said in his thick Irish accent. "And your boy, Sean, doesn't get a look in."

"I guess I don't wanna get shot, that's all." Arthur teased. 

Sean began to reload his revolver, aggressively. "Ah, you're a real fuckin' funny shit, Arthur Morgan, huh? Real fuckin' funny."

"Calm down." Arthur said with a smile on his face as he took one step towards Sean. 

Then Sean turned towards him. "You better sleep with your eyes open."

Arthur's face turned serious and he got in Sean's face. "Yeah, well you're gonna sleep with your chest open if you ain't careful, boy." He said with a gruffy tough tone in his voice. 

It gave me goosebumps. 

I also don't know if I should end whatever this is or continue watching it. This is entertainment to me. 

That was until Sean started laughing. 

"I love ya, Arthur Morgan. I love ya." He then leaned forward in front of Arthur. "Come on, take a shot. Come on, take your best shot, please, huh?"

While he's off bickering, I decided to do a thing just for fun. 

I walked forward a little bit as I pulled out my pistol and aimed at a bottle then shot one, exploding it.

Little did I know, Arthur also shot at a bottle at the same time as me and exploded one as well. 

Arthur and I turned and stared at each other with our guns in our hands still. We haven't even broke eye contact for a while. My heart began to beat fast as well after every second that went by. 

Then, the sound of Sean's throat being cleared made us break eye contact and turn away. 

Arthur holstered his gun and walked away. Sean and I also holstered our guns and started following Arthur. 

"Let me come on the raid with yous." Sean said which made Arthur stop and turn to Sean for a few seconds. 

"Raid?" He questioned, pretending that he didn't know what Sean was talking about before turning back and continue walking. 

"Don't be playin' coy with me, son. It's unbecoming." Sean said then took a glance at me. "What? You have a girl comin' with us? John's sister at that? She has never been on a job before and now she's doin' this one with yous? Did you take her to bed and kiss her feet, Arthur Morgan? Do I need to ask you to do that to me in order for me to go on these jobs with you?"

"Shut up." Arthur said as he started to check out the wagon. 

"Hey, you didn't have to bring my name into this. I was quiet this whole entire time." I told Sean as I held up my hands. 

I actually don't know what we are going to do. Arthur never explained it to me. 

"Anyway, I was talkin' about that bloody train you and him has set up." Sean said, answering what I've been wondering.

Wait, train? 

We followed Arthur around the wagon as he continued checking it out and Sean continued talking. "What you're doin' out here, you're going to need guns, you're going to need men."

"Oh, that." Arthur pat a horse that's attached to the wagon before turning to Sean. "So, Marston told you? I mean John?" He then backed up, waving his hands in the air playfully. "It ain't a big show." He then began to walk around the horses to the other side of the wagon. "I need calmness. At least Jill has that. If I bring you, I might as well bring Micah along."

Oh yeah, Micah. I forgot about him. I haven't talked to him, but I can tell by the scowls on his face that he doesn't think fondly of me. 

"Compare me to that oily turd again, you're a dead man." Sean said as we continued to follow Arthur. 

Arthur then chuckled, checking to see that one of the horses was strapped in. "Fair enough."

"Anyway, Arthur. What's your problem with me?" Sean asked as Arthur checked the wheel of the wagon. "In fact don't tell me. I already know." I looked over to Sean, furrowing my brows in confusion. He stepped closer to Arthur. "You're threatened by me."

Arthur stood and looked at Sean. "Threatened by you?" He then looked at me, causing me to shrug and he turned back around, continuing his business. 

"Yeah, my youthful vigor. It intimidates you." Sean pointed out which made me snicker behind him. He turned and looked at me. "Oh what you laughin' at? You intimidated by my youthful vigor as well?"

I shook my head as I walked past him. "No, not at all."

"You've been here for three days, missy and you're already as mean as this fucker here." He said as I stood there, staring at him. 

"I've always been mean, Sean. You just didn't know me."

"Yeah, whatever you say."

"Shut up, Sean. I wanna get some rest before night fall." I watched Arthur sit down against the wheel. 

"What? Me shut up? You aren't going to say anything to her?" Sean scoffed, sitting down at a rock across from the wagon, pouting like a toddler. 

Arthur then looked up at me. "Good job."

That made me smirk and slide down a tree to sit against it. 

"You both are assholes, you know that?" Sean said as he and Arthur both covered their faces with their hats. 

You know what? I love it here. Even though I'm going to be doing something on a train, most likely robbing it, I feel more at home with these folks. 

Even if it has been three days. 

I woke myself up and noticed it was dark outside. 

Not even five minutes later, Arthur woke up and threw a rock at Sean, causing the Irishman to wake up. 

I then heard a noise to my left to see John and Charles Smith walk up. 

Charles keeps to himself most of the time. But, he did promise to go hunting with me once I buy a bow and some arrows so I'm keeping him up to that. 

The three of us stood up as they approached us. 

John didn't even see me when he spoke. His eyes hit Sean first. 

"What you doin' here, kid?"

Once Sean started to speak, that was when John noticed me and furrowed his brows and interrupted Sean. 

"What the hell you doin' here?" He said. I can sense the slight anger coming off of him. 

"John, I'm goin' on this job with y'all whether you like it or not." I told him, crossing my arms. 

He shook his head. "Not happenin'. Arthur, why'd you let her come?"

Arthur backed away, holding his hands up in surrender. 

I figured I should save Arthur from this. 

"I chose to come, John. It was my decision." I said as I walked around the wagon and hopped onto the back left side of the oil tank, holding onto the handle that is there. "Now, y'all men comin' or what?"

"I swear, if you get hurt-"

"Or what?" I interrupted John as soon as the men hop on as well, smiling to myself. 

John stood in front of me. Charles stood at the front right and we all held onto the bar handles. Arthur and Sean sat in the front of the wagon where the reins were. 

"Y'all ready?"

We all nodded and he turned back to look forward as he grabbed the reins. "Alright, let's get goin'." He said and whipped the reins and we started moving forward with our horses following us from behind. 

I didn't really think this through, though. I didn't bring my carbine. But, I do have my pistol. Just in case any of this gets out of hand and the law shows up. 

"So, what is it we're doin' again?" I called out as the wagon kept bouncing, making my hand almost slide from the handle with how sweaty I am. 

I'm nervous. Everyone gets sweaty when they're nervous. 

"We're robbing a train that's going into Scarlet Meadows. They have tons of valuables on it." Charles answered as we hit a huge bump in the road, causing me to gasp and hold onto the handle with two hands this time. 

John looked back at me with a worried expression on his face. "You sure you gonna be alright? I could always have Sean take you back to camp, Jill."

"Don't you dare have me take the lady back home. I never go on jobs with you folks anymore." Sean called out. 

I shook my head and looked John right in the eyes. "I got this, alright? I don't even want the money. I just want y'all to put my cut in the camp funds. Right? That's what it's called?"

"Yeah, that's what it's called, but if you ain't sure about doin' this, I can have Sean take you home." John said, kind of making me irritated. 

So, I took a deep breath as Sean spurs on about his daddy and both Charles and Arthur told him to shut it. 

"No, John. Please, don't make me out to be weak. I know what I'm doin'." I told him, giving him a stern look. 

"You robbed a train before?"

He still looks worried but he needs not to be. I can handle my own and he should know this. 

"No, I haven't. But, it doesn't hurt to learn somethin' new." I told him, giving him a reassuring smile now. "I know how to shoot. I'm good with a gun. I can protect. You just have to trust me, John. You're my brother. We can fight the storms. And I'd rather be fightin' them with you."

He stared at me as if he didn't want to believe me, but he finally gave in, nodding his head. 

"Alright, but you still have to be careful."

"I always am." I grinned at him. 

He also gave me a smile of his own before turning forward and started giving Arthur directions. 

I'm so nervous. I can feel my heart pumping fast and my legs began to shake a little. 

But I can't be scared to do this. If I want to do more than just wash dishes, wash clothes, help cook and all the little things, then I will do more than that. I wanted to go on jobs with them since this morning. 

I know, it has been three days since I found my brother and I met these people, but they need more folks. 

And I am one of those. I don't wear dresses or skirts, I don't pick berries whenever I feel like it. 

I handle my own and I protect those I love and care about. 

That is all I'm good for and fighting for this gang is what's right for me. Not sitting around and listen to Ms. Grimshaw's orders. 

And maybe then after Arthur and John see how good I am, they can all tell Dutch that I can go on the jobs with them. 

I know I can do this. 

"Alright, just stop over these tracks comin' up." John called out to Arthur. 

I looked past him and found the train tracks. I couldn't really make out the area around us because it's completely dark, but I can see the trees which told me those were the woods. 

"Remember, these are innocent folks." John said as Arthur came close to the tracks. "We handle this right, nobody needs to die here."

I sighed in relief, but inside my head. 

Arthur stopped the wagon over the tracks. "Alright." He said as the five of us jumped off. 

Both Arthur and Charles freed the horses of the wagon as John, Sean and I grouped up front.

Right as they freed the horses, they came to us. 

"Mr. Marston, Mr. Smith, Mr. MacGuire." Arthur called out, completely leaving out my name but he quickly realised it. "And Ms. Marston. Y'all, get over there." He said as he pointed at the woods behind us and walked up to the tracks. "When she slows, board her."

"And you?" Sean questioned. 

Arthur was looking at the tracks. "I'm gonna make sure she slows."

I shook my head in disbelief. "What do you mean by that?"

Arthur placed his foot on the track, concentrating on what I'm guessing when the train will be coming. Also, ignoring my question. 

"It's do or die with you." Sean said before a chuckle. "I like it."

Arthur moved his foot off the track and looked at us. "Get movin'."

"What are you doin'?" I went to chase after Arthur as he walked towards the wagon until a hand grabbed my arm. 

I turned around to see John there. 

"Come on, Jill. He ain't goin' nowhere." He then began to drag me away until I shook his hand off of my arm, but I continued following him. 

"Alright." I said as we entered the woods and hid behind a tree. 

I watched the three men move their bandanas up to cover their face and I realised I do not have one. 

"John?" I tapped his shoulder and that was when I heard the horn of the train go off. 

He turned to me. "Yeah?"

"I don't have a bandana." I told him, completely worrying now. 

But, John reached inside his pocket and pulled out an extra one that was the color grey. 

"Here." He handed it to me. 

I tied it around my neck and pulled it up to cover my nose and mouth. This is the first and I can already feel the adrenaline run through me. 

I looked past the bushes and see Arthur standing on the wagon, holding his gun. 

As the train came through and the lights hit him, I could see the way he's standing. Like a true outlaw and it sets something off inside me. A brand new feeling. 

He's standing there, doesn't know if the train will stop. He's risking his life at this moment as this train comes straight at him. 

Something about being fearless really makes me feel attracted to it. 

At the same time, I'm hoping the train does stop. Every second it gets closer, the more my heart beats faster. My anxiety is rising to the sky. I'm scared for Arthur and I can't really tell why. Besides the fact I bonded with him. 

But then the train did stop just before the wagon and I sighed in relief, feeling my heart calm down now. 

I watched a man step out, calling out as Charles crouches and ends up sneaking to him. 

Not even a minute goes by when Charles slits his throat and Arthur climbs down the wagon. 

"Come on." John said as he tapped my shoulder and we ended up walking straight to the first passenger car that is there. 

"What do you want me to do?" I asked as we came close. 

"Stay here and keep an eye out." He told me as he walked up the steps, holding open a bag. 

I rolled my eyes. "You serious?"

"Just do it." He told me right before kicking open the door, shouting at the people to throw their money or valuables in the bag. 

Moments later I heard Arthur call out, shouting the same thing. 

I, on the other hand, am keeping an eye out for any trouble. 

But there seems to be no one out this late at night. It's getting kind of boring. 

I then turned around to see Arthur and John exit that car and entered the next one. 

I stood there for a good ten minutes, looking around until Sean's voice called out to me. 

"Jill, come onto this flat car with me."

I turned to see he was impatiently motioning for me to follow and so I did. 

"They told me to keep an eye out."

"That's boring. Don't you want some action?" He chuckled as we got onto the flat bed. 

I nodded. "I guess I do."

"Alright, follow my-"

"What you doin' here? You're supposed to keep an eye out." 

I heard Arthur's voice come from behind me so I quickly turned to him to see a slight hint of anger across his face. "Sean needed me."

"For what?" He scoweld as he looked past my shoulder to look at Sean. 

When I followed his gaze, I could see Sean entering the baggage car. 

"There's probably somethin' in here, Jill." Sean called out. 

Right after he had finished what he said, a man pushed him up against the frame of the entrance, holding onto his neck as if to strangle him. 

And in one quick motion, Arthur aimed his gun and shot the man right through the head, causing me to gasp and hold onto my mouth even though there's a bandana covering it.

The man fell to the ground, dead. 

"For fucks sake." Sean began as he slouched against the door frame. "For fucks sake."

Arthur began walking towards Sean with a growl when I spot a man on top of the baggage car, aiming his gun at Arthur. 

I'd never thought this day would come so quickly, but I'd be lying if I said this day would never come at all. 

"Arthur!"

I quickly pulled my pistol out of it's holster, aimed at the man and everything went in slow motion. 

My heart was beating quickly as I cocked back the hammer and placed my finger on the trigger. I took a shaky inhale and pulled the trigger, causing my gun to go off and the bullet went straight into the man's chest. He dropped his gun and then grabbed onto his chest as he looked right at me, his mouth moving but no words came out. He soon fell and rolled off the baggage car, now dead. 

Because of me. 

My hand was shaking as I realised what I had just done. 

All my life, none of my bullets had touched another person's limbs. They mostly touched bottles or elk. 

Not another person. 

The thought of me actually killing someone scared me. 

I knew it would happen, but I never thought it'd happen this quickly. 

I didn't even think there'd be any guards on this train, which was my dumbass fault for even thinking that. 

It was my fault that I killed someone. 

It was my fault that I wanted to go on a job with them. 

It was my fault for pulling the trigger. 

Now that man's life is gone. I didn't even know him. I didn't know if he had a family. A wife. I can't help but feel my blood run cold as I nearly fell backwards. 

I looked up to see Arthur looting the baggage car and Sean was sitting there holding his head. 

I couldn't stop my heart from beating. I had grown numb. In fact, I had grown so numb that my pistol fell from my hand. 

I then watched Sean look to the side and started yelling at Arthur, but I couldn't hear. 

That was when I seen Arthur run out of the baggage car and crouched down behind a crate of some sort on the flat car, looking right at me. His mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear him. He looked pissed, moving his hand up and down. 

Then someone pulled me back into the car where the passengers ride in. 

I looked up to the person who pulled me back. 

"John." I said, my body still shaking. He set me down onto the floor. 

Finally, I can hear the commotion as all of the sound came rushing back into my ears. 

"Keep your head down, Jill. Don't worry, I got you." He whispered. 

"What's goin' on?" I asked, still completely shocked from what just happened. 

"Law showed up."

Right after he said that, gunshots began firing. Some bullets came through the windows in the car, causing me to duck even lower to avoid any glass that could head my way. 

I can do this. 

I kept saying to myself. 

I know what I'm doing. John and I are together. We can fight through this. Stop being a coward. 

You can do this. 

I took a sharp inhale and looked past John's feet and blew all of the air out of my lungs. 

I seen my pistol laying there on the flat car, waiting for me to pick it up. 

The 'good luck' pistol awaits me. 

Even with my heart beating, I lowered myself to the ground, on my hands and knees and began crawling to my gun. 

"Jill, what the hell are you doin'?" John called out as I crawled past his feet. 

"I got this, John. Keep shootin'! I need my gun!" I called to him as I stuck my head out of the door entrance. 

I took one glance to see more than five lawmen surrounding the train. 

You can do this, Jill. 

Without thinking, I jumped towards my gun and quickly picked it up, causing a bullet to graze the skin on my shoulder in the process. 

I yelled out as the burning started to form on that area. 

"Jill!" John called out, worry written in his tone. 

I quickly hid behind a crate, cradling my pistol. I looked over to my right side to get a good look of my shoulder. The blood oozed through my sleeve and ran down my arm. 

This was a bad day to wear a white shirt. 

"Are you crazy?" Arthur called out. 

I turned to him and shook my head, breathing heavily. "No, just stupid."

I closed my eyes, prayed a couple times before I stood from behind the crate and aimed my gun at a man sitting on his horse, shooting his gun. 

Bang! 

I shot my gun and he soon fell off his horse. 

Don't think about it. 

I thought to myself as I lowered myself back down to hide behind the crate.

I can see on the other side of the train that there were five more men.

So I stood, aimed my gun at a man who was on his feet, aiming his gun right at me. 

Bang! 

He fell to the ground, holding onto his right leg. 

Shit. 

I kneeled back down and began reloading my pistol. 

Once I had finished reloading, I stood back up and aimed my gun at the injured man. He was screaming and cursing as he aimed his gun at me with one hand. So, I pulled the trigger again, not thinking about it. 

Silence.

I kneeled back down behind the crate for cover.

"We have got to get outta here!" Arthur called out. 

"Where are the horses?" Charles also called out. 

"They should be around!" John yelled as he took a shot at someone, causing them to fall down right onto their back. 

Arthur then whistled for his horse and soon took down another man. 

Charles, Sean and John did the same so I take that as I should as well. 

So I did. 

In the process of waiting for our horses to show up, we kept fighting our way through this.

I stood and shot at a man who was riding in with his horse, shooting towards us. 

After a couple moments of straight gunfire, all of our horses finally arrived. 

"Let's go!" Arthur called out. 

And one by one, the men cleared out any lawmen standing on the side of the train where our horses were and quickly mounted them. 

I then mounted Lychee after taking down a man. 

Don't think about their deaths. 

I thought to myself as I spurred my horse, following Arthur. The other men seemed to be slacking behind, but I know they're behind us. 

I hope nothing happens to them. 

As I ride fast behind Arthur, I noticed a lawman to the back right of me on his own horse, pointing his gun and firing shots. Luckily some of them missed. 

Until Lychee squealed out loud. So loud that it hurt my ears. 

Not even a minute went by before he tumbled down, causing me to fall off of him and roll on my side a couple times in the dirt. 

I raised my head quickly once I stopped rolling, noticing Lychee laying there, squealing and kicking his feet. 

Again, everything went in slow motion as I watched my horse cry out in pain. 

No. 

"Lychee!" I called out, scrambling to my feet as I nearly crawled to him. I felt my tears run hot down my cheeks as I approached him, petting his mane. "Lychee! Oh God, no." I started to hyperventilate as I watched him whine. 

I see where the bullet got him. 

Right on his neck. 

Blood was flowing out of it. His breathing was becoming ragged. 

Then a gunshot was heard from above me, causing me to flinch. 

"Come on, we have to go, Jill."

I looked up to see a man laying on the ground, twitching and drowning in his own blood. I then turned around to see Arthur standing there. He put his gun in his holster and came to my side. 

I moved my gaze back to Lychee to see that he's no longer moving. 

No longer breathing. 

"He's- he's gone." I let out a sob as Arthur grabbed a hold of my waist with one arm and put my arm around his neck with the other. 

"I'm so sorry, Jill but we have to go. They're right on our asses."

I nodded, not taking my eyes off of Lychee as Arthur helped me stand up and hurriedly brought me to Athena. 

"Come on, let's get you up here quickly." He moved me in front of him and grabbed me by my waist. 

I turned my gaze from Lychee to Arthur and noticed how his eyes have softened.

I wanted to say thank you, but when I tried to speak, nothing but a sob came out. 

"You have to grab my shoulders, Jill. Quickly!" He said, almost nearly yelling but he couldn't help it. 

I just realised we were still being chased. 

So I grabbed his shoulders, pushing myself up as he helped getting me onto the back of Athena. 

I turned back to look at Lychee. My tears kept coming. 

He didn't deserve to die like that. 

I brought my leg over to the other side of Athena's backside as Arthur began mounting up in front of me. 

"Hold on, Jill. The others have already gone. We have to leave." Arthur told me. 

So I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on as I sobbed into his back. My hands were holding tightly onto his shirt, scrunching it up in my palms.

And then I felt his hand hold onto my own as if he's telling me it'll be alright. 

Arthur spurred his horse into a gallop as we left Lychee behind. 

You do one horrible thing and it comes to bite you in the ass.

It took about fifteen minutes until we were well away from the lawmen. We haven't seen anymore. 

But I didn't care. 

I cared about Lychee. 

And Lychee's dead. 

"Jill, are you okay?"

I heard John's voice and soon felt a hand on my leg. 

I turned to him, nodding my head. "I'm fine." I tried my hardest to hold back a sob. 

"I seen Lychee and-"

"I said I'm fine." I cut him off, staring at him as I straightened up behind Arthur. "I- I knew what I was gettin' myself into. I chose this. Nobody forced me."

He nodded, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. 

Until his eyes focused down a little more and his expression switched to worry. 

"Jesus Christ, Jill! You're bleedin'!" He cried out, stepping a little closer. 

That was until I held up my hand. "I'll be fine."

I felt Arthur sigh, but he didn't say anything. 

"Alright, then." John said, backing up. 

"Can we just get out of here?" 

"Sure." Arthur said. 

We stayed here for a good minute while Arthur threw everyone's cut at them. 

John had already mounted his horse and took one last look at me before they all left. 

"Here."

I looked up to see Arthur holding a wad of cash over his shoulder. 

I shook my head. "No, just keep it."

I watched him turn his head to look at me, but he could only turn so far so all I'm seeing was the right side of his face. He had his bandana down around his neck. 

"I ain't askin' you. Take it. You earned it." He told me. "We need to get goin' and have your shoulder checked out."

Instead of arguing, I took it and stashed it into my satchel. 

I pulled my bandana down, thankful to breathe in the fresh air. 

"Don't pity me. I asked for this." I said, almost to a whisper as I held onto Arthur's waist.

"I ain't pityin' you." He said as he kicked his horse into a trot. "I just know what you're feelin'."

I looked off to the side and took a breath. 

I asked for this the moment I found out John Marston was my brother. 

It was my fault. 

I may not like what I have gotten myself into, but I found a family. 

I found my actual blood brother. 

If I have to deal with the pain, the sorrows, the deaths just to stick by my brother's side, then I will. 

Doesn't mean it'll be easy, no. But at least I'll have him by my side.

I just hope nothing happens to either one of us during this. 

I just hope nothing happens to the rest of my now family either. 

So if I have to stick it out and fight for them and alongside them, then I will. Until the day I die. 

Let's just hope that day won't be soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this chapter! Like I said, I felt insecure about writing this one. I wasn't sure if it was good enough, but I sure hope it was! :)


	6. Another job.... Already?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo so so so so so so sorry that it has taken forever for me to write out a new chapter. All that is happening in real life has been insane and I didn't have much time to do anything aside.
> 
> But, here I am updating a new chapter and I hope you all like it! Please forgive me for taking so long! I'll try my hardest to update much quicker lol xoxoxo

After last night, I kept replaying the events in my mind. 

From killing a man for the very first time, to Lychee dying. 

It all happened so quickly and I couldn't help but blame myself for wanting to go on that job. I knew the risks I'd have to make, but it still didn't stop me from going. 

I still went and Lychee died. 

I just have to be strong now. I can't let these emotions overwhelm me. I knew what I was getting myself into, I knew the choices I made. It was bound to happen one way or another. 

I miss that big boy. 

"Hey, Jill. You got a minute?"

John's voice was heard from outside my tent. 

I sat up and moved to open up the flaps. Once I did, John stepped in and sat on the ground, I sat in front of him. 

"I'm sorry, Jill. About Lychee and-"

I shook my head as I cut him off. "No, don't apologize, John. Like I said, I knew what I was gettin' myself into. Besides," I showed him my shoulder that is wrapped up in a bandage. "I'll bet this is gonna be one fine scar."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, it is." His smile disappeared as he stared at me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, pulling my sleeve back down over the bandage. "I'll live."

"No, I mean about the whole thing that happened. Are you sure about goin' on jobs with us?" He questioned, making me furrow my brows. 

"Yes, I'm sure. Look, I slipped up. I've never killed a man before. It would have happened either way." I told him. "Yeah, it was scary, but I'm a big girl. I can take care of my problems."

He held up his hands. "Alright, alright." He then lowered them back down. "Arthur and I told Dutch about you. Though, you still have to earn your keep so cook and clean here and there."

I raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Dutch is lettin' you in on some of the jobs we do. Everyone has to do their own and you proved that to us last night. You could've just hid the whole entire time, but you didn't. You fought alongside us, even when you got grazed."

I smirked at that. "I told y'all. I can do this."

"You sure can." He chuckled. "Yeah, you're my sister alright."

I smiled warmly at that. "Come on and give your sister a hug."

"Alright, I'ma head out." He said as he stood and stepped out of the tent. 

"Hey!" I followed him out, grabbed his arm and turned him around before forcing my hug upon him.

"If you don't get off of me, woman." He laughed. 

"I never had this growin' up, John. I never had a sibling." I said as I smothered him in my embrace. Then I felt his arms wrap around me. "I'd like to hug my brother."

"Alright, fine. Just this one time." He chuckled. 

"Sibling bonding moment. How precious."

I backed away from John and seen Micah sitting on the table, twirling his knife between his fingers. 

"What you want, Micah?" John asked in a tone of irritation. 

"Oh, nothin'." Micah said as he jumped off of the table and stood up straight, followed with a groan. "I just want to see if dear sister would like to prove herself to me. That's all." He placed his knife in his sheath and walked up to his. 

John immediatly shook his head. "She ain't got nothin' to prove to you, Micah."

"That's if she wants to, that's all." Micah turned to me with a grimey smile. "What do you say, princess?"

I wanted to cringe at the nickname, but another job? 

I don't know if I can handle all of this in one setting, but if it means more people can trust me, including Micah, then I'd do it. 

John then stood in front of me, protecting me. I don't know what from. Micah seems harmless. Probably all talk. 

"She says no, Micah. Leave her alone." John said. 

Then shortly after, Arthur walked up to us. 

"What's goin' on here?" He asked, looking between John, Micah and I. 

"I was just about to take Ms. Marston here for another job. See if she could be useful." Micah said, his smirk never left his face. 

"No." Arthur immediatly said, which absolutely took me back by surprise. 

That was oddly quick for Arthur to answer for me. 

I pushed past John and looked between the both of them. "Look, if I have to prove myself to everyone, I would, okay? I need y'all's trust. How can I earn trust if y'all keep answerin' every question for me?"

"Besides, cowpoke. Don't you and John have a little thing goin' on in Valentine?" Micah said, tapping on his chin with his pointer finger. 

John scoffed, shaking his head. "Just be careful, Jill, alright?"

I turned to John. "How many times do I have to say this? I always am."

He nodded and began to walk off towards the horses. "Meet me in Valentine, Arthur."

"Sure." Arthur called out to him before looking at Micah. "Micah, give me and the lady a moment to talk."

Micah chuckled in that sickly kind of way and turned around to walk off. "Don't get too excited, lovebirds."

Arthur rolled his eyes as he walked to me. 

"You sure you gonna be alright?"

I placed my hand on my hip and stared at Arthur in disbelief. "Why you so worried about me, Mr. Morgan? 

"I ain't. I know Micah. He ain't so good."

"Neither are you." I told him as I walked off back to my tent with Arthur behind me. 

"No, I suppose I'm not." He said as I entered my tent. "But, he's still worse."

I grabbed my gunbelt and placed it around my hip and slipped my pistol in the holster before stepping back out of the tent.

"Worse? How do you mean?" I asked as I stood there, making sure my gunbelt is fitting comfortably on me. 

"I mean, he's a sick bastard, Jill." Arthur said, moving to stand in front of me. "Just be careful, alright?"

"I didn't know you cared." I teased. 

He shook his head as he smiled. "You're a real piece of work. Why on earth am I tellin' you to be careful?"

I chuckled. "I wonder that myself."

"Alright, I'ma get goin'. Remember," He leaned forward to where his lips were near my ear. "If he does anything wrong to you, put a bullet in his balls. He'd get the message." Arthur whispered before pulling back. 

I slapped him playfully on the shoulder, laughing. "Oh shut up, you."

The corner of his eyes wrinkled as he laughed, showing his white teeth. 

It was at that moment when I found him to be extremely handsome. 

And it didn't bother me this time. 

"I'll see you later, Jill." He said as he tipped his hat after he finished laughing.

I nodded, smiling to myself. "See you later, Arthur."

I watched him as he walked to the horses. 

Once he got to Athena, he turned to me. "I'll get you a horse. You don't gotta worry, alright?"

I nodded, appreciating him as he mounted up onto Athena. 

With another nod, Arthur was galloping down the trail out of view. 

I chuckled to myself as I shook my head and turned around. 

"You sweet on him, ain't you?"

Karen was standing there startling me.

I held onto my chest to catch my breath. 

"Jesus, Karen." I exhaled heavily. Then I remembered what she asked and I instantly shook my head. "Oh, no. Arthur?" I laughed. "Nah, not Arthur. Blah." I began walking past her. "You're funny, Karen. I like you." I said as I continued to shake my head and laugh. 

"You are!" She exclaimed as she followed me. 

I tried my best to walk faster to get away from her. It didn't work. 

"No, Karen I do not. That's not right. He's like a brother to John." I gagged purposely as I made it to the percolator sitting next to the stew pot to pour some coffee into my cup before I start looking for Micah. 

"You're actin' weird, lady." She stood beside me and soon placed her arm on my shoulder. "I know when someone's not right. The way you smiled after talkin' to Arthur. You are sweet on him."

I turned to her after pouring my coffee. "No, I am not. I don't have time for a man."

"Doesn't mean you don't have to be sweet on one."

"Hey, where's Sean? Maybe you should start lookin' for him instead of houndin' me." I told her as I laughed, shaking my head. 

"Alright, but I'll get it out of you one way or another, Missy." She poked my side before walking off. 

I smiled at her, waving goodbye. 

Afterwards, I started looking around for Micah. 

I can't really be sweet on Arthur, can I? I never thought of him like that. I always thought he was handsome, yes. But seeing him as an actual lover? Never in my life. Not someone like him. 

Besides, romance is not in my books. 

"Lookin' for me, sweetheart?"

I winced, turning around slowly to see Micah walking up to me. 

"Yeah, I was. What were you wantin' to do?" I asked as he walked up to me. 

"Well, you see, there's a cabin up near Emerald Ranch." He started talking as we both walked up to a table. "I heard folk in Valentine talk about some money bein' held in that very cabin. I mean lots of money and valuables."

I nodded my head, mauling over what he was saying. "Okay." 

"I want you to be a distraction while I sneak in and get our pay." He chuckled as he placed his hand on the table, his other hand was on his hip. 

I raised my eyebrow. "Distraction?"

I watched his eyes leave my face to look behind me. "Ah, Mary-Beth, come here for a minute." Micah called out. 

I turned around to see Mary-Beth walking to us, taking another sip of my coffee. 

"Yes, Micah?"

Even the sweetest girl I know gives this man the cruelest attitude. It's pretty funny. I always wondered why nobody liked him until I got my answer when he started talking again. 

"Can you let Ms. Marston here borrow one of your dresses?"

I spit out my coffee, nearly choking as I turned to him with an uncomfortable look to my face. "No. No way in hell am I puttin' on a dress."

"You want to prove to me that you can do a job, don't you?" Micah asked, smirking at me. 

I groaned. "I've already done a job, no wait, a huge job. With Arthur, John, Sean and Charles. That's enough proof. They backed me up on that." I do want to prove to everyone here that they can trust me and that I'm reliable, but being a distraction while wearing a dress to do so? That's crossing a line. 

"Then why did you agree with me to do this job?"

I looked off to the side. 

He has a point. 

So I sighed. "What exactly are we goin' to do?"

He smiled and started to back up as he turned to Mary-Beth. "Could you be a dear?"

"Sure, Micah."

I really hope I'm not regretting this. I hate getting into dresses. I've been like that since I was a little girl. You can thank Joseph for that. Claire on the other hand always wanted me in dresses and skirts but I'd throw a fit when even being told to put either one of those on. 

Oh, boy. 

"See? It ain't that bad." Micah laughed. 

I walked out of camp, straight towards the wagon with the meanest mug on my face. 

I had on Mary-Beth's purple dress that went down just above my ankles. She even did my hair. She braided it to the side where it hung off of my shoulder. She wanted me to wear a corset, but I told her that was going a little too far. 

"I look ridiculous." I growled as I climbed up into the wagon. 

"Don't worry, princess. This'll be over if you just do exactly what I say."

"Ah, now I see why I never wanted to get involved with men." I rolled my eyes as Micah whipped the reins. 

"It's okay. You can go back to bein' a man once this is settled." He then turned to me and smirked. "You look even better in a dress. The pants don't quite fit your, uh, feminine side."

I shook my head as I looked off to the side. "I haven't worn a dress in fifteen years. You think I care about other's thoughts? Nah, I don't."

"Whatever you say, princess." He did a snort which made me a little bit more frustrated. 

How could anyone ride with this asshole? I have only known him for four days now and he's already getting on my nerves. 

"Please, not the nicknames. My real name will do." I said as I turned to look forward as Micah continued down the road. 

"Okay, Jill. Whatever you say." He chuckled sarcastically. 

This man can really rile you up, but I'll take my chances with him. After all, I don't know the man. Maybe that's just in his nature, teasing folks constantly. Who knows, maybe deep down he's a decent fella. Just with a nasty side to him. 

"Okay. So what will I be doin'?" I asked, looking over to him. 

"I already told you. You're going to be a distraction while I sneak into their cabin and take their money." He told me, taking a quick glance at me. 

"I know that. I mean, how will I distract them? How many people will there be and why couldn't we just do this at night?" I'm trying to make sure we do this right. But we can't if he don't tell me exactly what I should be doing. 

"Now, I don't know how many folks there are." He admitted, making me sigh. "But, if they're all inside, you could just knock on the door. Act like a, uh, lost girl. Folks love that."

I rolled my eyes in disbelief. "And if they're outside and some are inside?"

"Don't you worry about that. I can always take down the ones inside." He grinned at me with a sickly chuckle following after. 

"You know what, I'm not goin' to ask." I shook my head. "But why couldn't we do this at night when everyone would most likely be asleep?"

"Because, princess, I want to do it in the day." He smiled at me and laughed. 

I shook my head. I'm starting to regret what I said earlier. He sure knows how to get on everyone's nerves. 

"So, you just don't think to ask me?"

"Why? Just because you are John's sister, does not make you higher than the rest of us. Sorry to tell ya." I watched him shake his head. "You and Marston are exactly alike. Think you're just top notch. Well, I got news for you, lady." He turned his head to face me. "Not everyone trusts you. I heard what they said. Your aunt is a Pinkerton. Not sure if I'd trust to have someone like you in camp. You may be Marston's sister, but you're just a stranger. Nobody trusts strangers that easily."

There goes his chuckle again as he turned to face the road. 

I turned my head to watch the trees pass by us. 

Somehow, his words got to me. Everyone knows that Claire is a Pinkerton now and they know that I know her. It is going to be hard for everyone to trust me. But they all act nice around me. 

Is it because I am John's sister? 

What if Arthur don't even trust me? 

What if John don't even trust me? 

They could be smiling in my face, having full on conversations with me when inside they could be thinking I am not the one to be trusted. If that is true, how can I make them all trust me? 

I shook my head. What the hell am I thinking? 

I'm doing these jobs with them. I killed lawmen with them, for the very first time. I can definitely be trusted. I don't know what Micah is on about. 

Does he really not like me that much? 

"By the way, I see how close you're gettin' with Morgan and it hasn't even been a week since you've been here." Micah started. "I'd steer clear of that one. He's already sweet on someone." He chuckled soon after. 

I furrowed my brows as I watched the open land come into view. 

Why does everyone think I'm sweet on the man? I haven't even known him for a month. 

"Okay. And?" I turned to him. "I ain't sweet on the man. He's the fella who helped me find my brother. That's all."

"Whatever you say." He turned to me and gave me the nastiest smirk known to man. "If that is so, then are you with a man?"

I scoffed. "No. I don't really have time for one."

"What about me, sweetheart?" He winked at me and I almost threw up in my mouth. 

Actually, I kind of did. 

I shook my head. "If I was to look for a man, it sure as hell wouldn't be you."

"Aw, come on. We don't have to be official. We can do some business on the side." He chuckled again. 

I really want to punch him in the face. I really, really do. 

"No, Mr. Bell and that's final. Jesus." I shook my head, wanting to get this job done and over with. 

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me." He told me as he whipped the reins even more so that we could ride faster. 

Am I really doing this to prove myself to pretty much everyone? They already seem like they trust me. Even Dutch told Arthur and John that I can start doing jobs with them. 

I mean, I'm doing one right now. 

But Micah doesn't trust me. So that means I have to prove to him that I can do jobs. That I am reliable. That I am not a snake. Even though he might be the least likeable person to everyone, from what I heard, but he's a person nonetheless. I have to make him like me, I have to make everyone like me if I want to stay with my brother.

I found John and there's no way I'm gonna let anything come in between my brother and I. 

It's not going to happen. 

"Alright, princess." Micah says, pulling the wagon into a pasture where a couple of trees stood. "It's up ahead. Let's get off and scope the place out." He said as he stopped the wagon. 

With a nod, we both jumped out of the wagon and onto the short grass. 

"Here, I brought an extra pair of binoculars just in case you didn't have one." He walked to the back of the wagon, climbed in and opened up some sort of lock box, took out a pair of binoculars and hopped off the wagon. "Just so we can scope 'em out, see, uh, how many there are."

"Alright." I said as he handed the binoculars over to me before walking over to where the patch of trees stood. I followed behind. 

"This is the spot. Let's see what we're dealin' with." Micah spoke low, almost to a whisper as if the folks in the cabin that is miles away from us, can hear. I don't quite understand why he is being so quiet, but beats me. As long as I can continue to prove to their gang that I am trustworthy, then I'm good with it. 

"So, the plan is for me to go down there and act lost?" I asked again for confirmation as I looked into the binoculars. All I got was a "hum" from him as I continued to scope out the place. The cabin looked small, so that means not many people are living there. I only seem to notice two men. They were outside playing some card game. 

Then my guesses turned out to be far off seconds after. 

About five men have emergered from inside of the cabin, laughing and drinking. 

It's a small cabin, why are there so many men? 

"Hm just as I suspected." Micah said, causing me to put down my binoculars and look over at him. "This is going to be real easy."

"Just as you suspected? There are seven men over there. How do you expect to steal from seven, I'm assumin', armed men?" I questioned, stunned by all of this. We won't make it out alive. Two against seven. That's not at all equal. 

"Look, I've been robbing and killing folks as long as I can remember, princess." Micah said. "You're new, you don't know what you are doing or saying. I do. So if I were you, I wouldnt continue to ask questions."

I sighed, knowing he is right. I'm not going to argue with him further. He's been in this business longer than I have, I just have to believe him. 

And hope this doesn't get me killed. 

"Okay, Mr. Bell. What do you suppose?"

"Well, I reckon you go down there, see if you can distract 'em. Play lost like I suggest, or do something else. As long as it works, then hopefully that should give me the time to get in, take their shit and get out." He told me with a grin. 

"Okay." I sighed. "Let's do this."

"That's my girl!" He laughed, clapping his hands together. "Alright, I will stay back with my binoculars as you go down there and distract them. Also, give me your binoculars. You have no place to stash them."

I rolled my eyes as I did what I was told. I handed them over to him and started to walk towards the cabin. It seemed to be at least over five hundred feet from where we are. So I know our wagon is safe out here. 

At least I hope so. 

I straightened out my dress as I continued to walk towards the cabin. I messed with my hair a couple of times and hope it looks convincing. It didn't take me long to get there because I was actually walking fast. 

I want to get this done with already. 

So I am planning to have them "help me" fix my wagon. That should work, right? 

Once I deemed it close enough, I started to wave my hands. 

"Hello, misters!" I called out, getting closer. I made up a southern accent. Southern and sweet. "I need some help, please!"

"Oh what do we have here?" One of the men said as he stood up from his chair. All of their attention were put on me. 

"What can we help you with, ma'am?" Another man said as they started walking towards me and I slowed my steps. 

All of their voices sounded really hoarse and grungy. Sickly if you will. These are really not the men to be playing around with. 

"My wagon." I started speaking, wiping my forehead to get off some of the sweat. "The wheel broke and I need some help repairin' it. I'd pay you very handsomely."

We met up in the middle. The cabin was far away from them now so Micah can do what was planned. 

So, hoping that he's still looking through the binoculars, I gave him a thumbs up being my back, pretending that I was scratching it. 

"Oh, what man would turn down a pretty lady such as yourself?" The man standing in front of me said. 

He looked filthy and his hair looked to be black and matted underneath that hat of his. 

"I hope not you fellas." I batted my eyes at them, hoping they'd keep their full attention on me. 

Then, from behind them, I spot Micah crouching beside the cabin, steadily walking towards it. 

I cleared my throat. 

"No such thing." One of the men said and I looked over at him. 

One thing these men have in common was the lack of a bath. I can smell them from where I am standing and that smell made me want to puke. 

"Don't you worry, sweetheart. Let me go get my tools." The man in front of me said as he went to turn around, so without thinking, I grabbed onto his arm. 

"I got tools at the wagon!" I told him, immediately regretting this. I don't know how long Micah is going to take and if I let one of these men go back inside that house, then it's over for us. 

"Great! Me, Harold and Bentley will walk with you to your wagon, ma'am." He said as I lowered my arm, my heart dropping along with it. I watched the man turn around and start talking to the others. "Albert, Hugh, Walter and Lewis, y'all get to doin' that thing y'all was doin'."

I watched the seven of them nod their heads. 

Oh no, what have I done? 

"By the way, my name's Norman." He winked at me. "Show us where this wagon is."

I can't act suspicious because they will know what's wrong. I hope Micah knows what he's doing in there and I hope he's armed.

I only have three men following me and I know this isn't going to turn out well. I made a mistake. They're gonna get to the wagon and see that it is in perfect shape and then they'll start getting curious. I'll have to find a weapon somewhere on the wagon if shit does go south. 

Which I know it will. 

I'm dumb and I am not smart like Micah, or Arthur, or anyone else in that gang for that matter.

I don't think through my situations like this one. Only because I never really had to do anything like this before. 

I'm too nervous to even think straight. My legs felt like they were going to give out on me any second. If I die, that means I never got to say good-bye to my brother. To my nephew. To James. 

To Arthur. 

I took in a sharp inhale as I turned around and started to walk, the three men followed behind. 

I know something is bound to happen. 

"So, what you doin' all the way out here?" One of the men asked. 

I blew out the air I had kept in and without looking back, I gave them an answer. "I was goin' to get some milk for my momma. She's been sick lately."

"Your mama? Do you live far from here, ma'am?"

I laughed nervously. "Well, wouldnt you fella's like to know?"

"Just a question." He laughed as well, making me feel a little uneasy. 

We reached the wagon. My heart began to pick up it's pace. 

"Now, where's this broken wheel?"

I went to the back and climbed on. "It's on the other side. Let me get the tools out."

"Okay, sweetheart."

As they began to walk to the other side, I frantacally started to look for a weapon. 

But I couldn't find one.

Then I remember the lock box Micah had the pair of binoculars in. So, I opened that up and quickly started digging through all the paper, clothes and other items until I find a weapon of some sort. 

And thankfully my luck has set in. 

A carbine was sitting at the very bottom. 

I smiled and quickly checked the chamber to see if any cartridges were in there. 

There was and I couldn't be even more happy. 

Just as I went to pick it up, a few gunshots were heard coming from the cabin's direction. 

"What the hell?" One of the men called out and I stood straight, looking down at the men, pointing the carbine at them. 

"Whoa, whoa, lady, calm down!" The man who spoke to me earlier, Norman, cried. 

More gunshots were heard. 

"Y'all gonna step away, right now!" I called out in my normal voice. 

I gotta be honest, just because last night happened, didn't mean I'm completely used to holding folks up at gunpoint. 

"Okay, okay. Whatever you say!" The other man said as they started backing up. 

I slowly made my way to the end of the wagon, never leaving eye contact with them. 

"Th- throw your guns to the far left. Now!"

They had their hands up, but when I demanded that, they slowly reached into their holsters and threw their guns to the left where the front of the wagon wheel was at. 

"Where's all this comin' from, lady!" The man's voice was a high pitched screech. 

They're scared. 

That made all of this even more hard. I didn't intend to scare anyone, but my plan went sour. I didn't think through it like I should have. 

"Turn around!" My hands started to tremble as my voice quivered. 

"I know you don't want to do this, ma'am, please!" One of them cried out. 

"I said... turn around!" I gritted my teeth as I seen their hands started to shake. 

They're afraid of me. 

I thought they were going to put fear into me but in reality I'm putting fear into them. I thought they were going to do some disrespectful things to me, but instead, I'm the one holding a gun to them as they shake in their pants, pleading. 

They did as they were told. They turned around and I couldn't help but feel guilty like I did last night. 

What is wrong with me? This should be easy. I'm not the one to go soft on strangers. 

But here I am, going soft on them. 

"We can hear it in your voice, ma'am. Y- you won't shoot us." Norman said as I watched him turn back around to face me, his hands still raised. 

I climbed off the wagon, still aiming the carbine. "Turn around now, mister!"

"I don't know you, but I know this ain't you, lady." He told me in a calming voice. 

"Y- you're right, you don't know me, so turn around a- and do as I say!" My voice once again quivered. My heart won't stop beating so fast. 

But Norman started to walk towards me, hands still raised. 

"What if I don't do as you say, lady?" He said, continuing to walk, but I kept taking steps back. 

"Th- then I'll have to shoot."

"There's no need for that." He told me. 

"Norman, what the hell?" The man with the high pitched voice called out. 

"I got this, Bentley." Norman spoke. 

My breath started to become shallow as my heart continued to beat against my chest, rapidly. 

"G- get back!" My voice broke when I yelled that, but he continued to walk. 

"Come on, lady. You're pretty, you're smart. You know what you're doin'." He told me. "There's someone else with you, I know that and my men might be dead, or that other person you came with might be. But you and I, we can get outta here! We can make a family!"

I furrowed my brows. "You don't know me, mister!"

"No, but I know you'll make a great wife and mother." He said. 

I kept backing up until my back hit a tree. The gunshots had stopped a while ago and I wonder if Micah really did get killed. Right now, I wish he was here to help me. 

As much as I didn't want to say that, but I don't know if I'm fit for this and I need him now. 

"No, no I won't."

Then, I watched the other two men walk around the wagon, their hands were still raised as well. 

"Come on, we can make a great life, you and me." Norman kept talking. 

My finger was on the trigger, but it wasn't moving. I want to, I do, but what if they're innocent? I can't do that. 

"No, not you and me, sir. Please, you all step back!"

"You won't shoot us, I know-"

Out of nowhere the sound of a gunshot was heard from beside me, causing me to flinch and I watch Norman's head nearly explode, his body fell to the ground. 

"What the fu-"

Then another gunshot and Bentley's body was soon falling to the ground. 

The last guy went to run away, but the gunshot was heard once again and his body was soon lying on the ground as well. 

In the corner of my eye I can see Micah walking up, his gun was still smoking and he had two saddlebags hanging over his shoulders. 

"You couldn't shoot them, princess?" He scoffed, walking up to the wagon. 

My heart continued to pound against my chest as I stared at the three, lifeless bodies. 

"I- I'm sorry, Micah."

"Don't worry, we got it done. But next time, learn to pull the trigger." I watched him throw the saddlebags into the back of the wagon as I walked over Norman's body. 

I wanted to puke. 

"Easy for you to say. You've done this before, I- I haven't." I said as I peeled my eyes away from the dead man and walked up to Micah. 

"I know, sweetheart. Here, your cut. Just because you couldn't pull a trigger, doesn't mean you didn't distract 'em." He pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to me. 

I took it and held onto it since I don't have my satchel or pants on me. In return, I handed him the carbine. 

"I- I wasn't thinkin'. And, I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but thank you Micah for steppin' in." I told him as he tossed the carbine over his shoulder. 

"This gun was for backup for you anyway. But yeah, you're welcome, princess. Told you I'll protect you." He winked at me before walking to the left side of the wagon and climbed up into the seat. 

I did so as well on the right side with a disgusted face. Even though I am thankful that Micah is alive and he saved me, doesn't mean that I still think he's nasty. 

"Alright, let's get back to camp and show 'em how well you did." Micah said as he whipped the reins and we left that horrible place behind. 

I'm glad this is over. I'm looking forward to getting back into my pants and gunbelt. 

We made it back to camp, but it was different from how we left it. 

Everything was packed up.

The food, the tents, most items. Even the campfires were put out. The camp looked entirely different and I am more confused than ever. 

Micah and I both jumped out of the wagon and walked into camp when I seen John walk up to us. 

"Jesus Christ, Jill. I was worried you weren't gonna come back."

"Don't worry, Marston. Your sister is not harmed in no way." Micah said as he walked past John towards Dutch's tent which was still up and the man himself was standing outside, smoking a cigar. 

"What's goin' on, John?" I asked, confused as I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around the place.

"Somethin' happened." He told me and my mind instantly went to Arthur. 

Since I don't see him anywhere, I assume something bad happened to him and I couldn't help but feel saddened by it. 

"Arthur?"

Then I see John raise an eyebrow. "What about him? He and Charles went off to scope out the next place we may be able to settle in for a while."

I blew out a breath of relief. "Oh, I thought somethin' bad happened."

"No, I mean yeah. Somethin' bad did happen but not to Arthur. Somethin' went down in Valentine and Strauss was shot." He told me as we walked further into camp. 

"Wait, Strauss was shot!?" I nearly cried out. 

"Don't worry, woman. It was just a graze. Just like your shoulder." He pointed that out. "Anyway, I'll explain everything to you once we're settled in at the new place."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Here, let's take your tent down. I'll help."

I turned to John and smiled. "Thank you, John."

He smiled at me in return. "Anything for my sister."

With that we walked straight towards my tent and started to pack up. 

During the four days I've been here, I done so many things I've never done since my time here on earth began. 

I'm doing this all for my brother. I haven't been with him throughout the twenty six years we've been here and I'll be damned if I waste another second without being with him. If it means running with this gang he calls family, then I'll do it. Because since I've been here, they've grown to be my family too. If Micah doesn't trust me still after all that happened today, then so be it.

I know I have people that care about me, I'll just have to get used to them being there for me. They're genuine and kind and I won't let Micah's words ruin what I have with these people. 

Like I've thought before, this is my home. I'll die for them, I'll die for John. 

He's family and his family is my family. That's just how it is. 

And how it always will be.


	7. Settling in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took forever! My writing and everything else seemed to have gotten mixed up a lot! This is a long chapter, so I hope you like it! Also, if it seems out of character or seems a bit too much, please let me know! I'd like to know what needs changing! 
> 
> Please, enjoy!

We have just arrived at the new place called Clemens Point. The air seemed to be more dry than Horseshoe Overlook, but it feels great.

With so many wagons, carrying so much stuff, it will take at least a full day to get unpacked and have everything ready.

Dutch had jumped off the wagon he was riding in with Pearson and started talking to Arthur who was taking a nap, what looks like, against a tree.

While we were still packing at Horseshoe Overlook, Charles came back and told us they found a better place than what Micah talked about.

I'd have to agree, although I don't know what place Micah was talking about.

This place looks incredible.

It is right next to a lake with a little jetty at the shore. A large tree stood out in the middle of the area, making my jaw drop in awe.

There were also two trails that led down to Clemens point and in between those two trails were nothing but nature. Trees, grass, bushes, animals, rocks, small hills. Everything beautiful put into one place.

I am also excited that I can finally get out of this dress since I didn't have time to change at Horseshoe Overlook.

"Look how beautiful this place is!" Mary-Beth said as we exited the wagon us girls were in.

"It looks pretty alright. When can we get our drink on?" Karen laughed as we walked straight to the middle of the area.

I nodded, taking a look around. You can see tiny islands far away in the lake. It looks fantastic. I can definitely get comfortable here.

"It may be in the afternoon, Ms. Jones, but you can wait 'til dark when we're all settled here to act indecent." Ms. Grimshaw walked past us carrying a box. Us girls started to giggle until Susan snapped around and glared at us. "Unpack, ladies! We don't have all day!"

"Okay, Grimshaw, we're on it!" Karen yelled back and Susan turned back to do her business. "You old crone." Karen finished off in a low tone.

"Better watch it, Karen. She probably can still hear you." Arthur walked up, chuckling.

"You think I care what that sour-faced woman has to say?" Karen scoffed, also chuckling.

I chuckled as well.

"No, I know you too well." Arthur said. 

"Damn right you do. Anyway," She turned around to face us. "Let's get to work so Grimshaw won't hound us no more."

Tilly and Mary-Beth groaned and we all started to walk off until Arthur grabbed my arm, causing me to stop and turn around to face him.

"How'd it go with Micah?" He asked me, letting go.

I shrugged, crossing my arms. "I croaked."

He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "You what?"

I sighed. "I croaked, Arthur." I let my arms fall down to my side. Everyone around us started taking stuff from wagons one by one and started setting the camp up. "I- I ain't fit to do jobs with y'all. I'm a coward. I can't kill folks like y'all do."

"You think we like it?" Arthur said, stepping closer to me. "Well, Micah probably does, but that's not the point. I sure as hell don't, but we have to in order to protect our own."

"Yeah, Arthur, but it's hard. You have to look in their eyes as you kill 'em and, I- I just can't." I crossed my arms once more as I looked down at my feet.

"Look, Jill." I looked back up at him and stared into his blue-green eyes. "It's your choice, so I ain't gonna force ya to go on jobs with us. We see you tryin' and we appreciate that, okay? We don't want you doin' anything you ain't comfortable with. Your brother will say the same. We notice you, trust me."

I gave him a heart-felt smile. "Thank you, Arthur. But, I also want to prove to myself that I can do it. I- I don't want to depend on anybody. Ever since Joseph died, I've been feedin' myself. Buyin' clothes for myself. I don't want to give that up just because I'm afraid to kill someone. I understand, it comes natural to y'all, but-"

"Jill, yeah, it came natural to us, but you should know that we didn't always kill folk." He told me. "We robbed the rich and gave it to the poor. We understand if you don't want to kill. It's your choice and you don't have to depend on us to do stuff for ya. Like you said, you're your own woman. You can still go on jobs that don't involve killin'. Like huntin' so you can keep Pearson's pot cookin', or findin' herbs so you can bring 'em for Strauss to make medicine." He chuckled, causing me to chuckle. "This is a lot more than just killin', Jill. You can sell pelt, jewelry that you stole, little things like that to keep money in camp."

I nodded, understanding where he's coming from. I actually didn't think about that. I don't have to kill to prove to everyone that I am worthy of their trust. I can earn money to put into their savings. Killing isn't what they're supposed to do, but they have no choice but to.

I understand now.

"You're right, Arthur. I- I guess I'm way over my head." I told him, scratching the back of my neck.

He gave me a smile. "You're just like your brother, I know that for sure."

I scoffed playfully. "I can swim though. That's one difference."

He laughed wholeheartedly. To see him laugh actually made my heart thump in a way it hasn't before.

Now I'm confused.

Why did that all of a sudden happen? It's a strange feeling I can't really explain.

But when Arthur's laughter began to die and he stuck his thumb through the loop of his jeans and stare directly at me with a look of contentment, I see now why my heart thumped the way it did.

I'm attracted to this man. Extremely attracted to him.

It came on suddenly but the way he does things, the way he talks, the way he carries himself, the way he laughs, made me attracted to him.

Karen was right. I think I am sweet on Arthur Morgan.

And that is the worst thing that could possibly happen at this moment.

I shouldn't want a man. It's been years since I was with one. It is wrong timing too. I have just found my brother, who, shall I remind myself, is like a brother to Arthur.

"Anyway, we're goin' for a ride tomorrow."

I gulped. "A..... Ride?"

He nodded as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, inhaling the smoke and blowing it out.

I even found that attractive. The way he put his lips around that... 

Stop.

"Yeah. I told you I'd get you a new horse. I know, you don't want to depend on anybody, but I think it's only fair that I get you one." He smiled at me thoughtfully and here I am, still stunned by my sudden thoughts on this man.

I cleared my throat, nodding my head. "Yeah, um, sure. But why?"

"I told you, it'd only be fair since last night happened." He said, taking another puff off of his cigarette.

A ride with Arthur Morgan after finding out how attractive he really is. Great. Might as well lynch me now because I know this might not go so well.

I even feel nervous now.

"O- okay, sure." I smiled, trying not to seem odd. "Tomorrow it is then."

"Alright, good. Gotta set up my tent. You need any help with yours as well?"

I shook my head. "Thanks for the offer, but I got it, Arthur."

He nodded. "Okay then. See you later."

I waved to him as he walked off.

Even watching him walk away sets my heart aflame. What the hell am I getting myself into?

I nearly groaned as I turned to walk towards one of the wagons, try to guess where my belongings are until I bumped into Abigail.

"Oh, Jesus, Abigail, I'm sorry." I said, backing away a little.

"No, it's okay. I should've watched where I was goin'." She then smiled and looked past my shoulder before turning to look back at me and creased her eyebrows, grinning at me in a way that made her look a bit confused. "Is there somethin' goin' on between the two of you? Your face is as red as an apple, Jill and he's walkin' away like he's proud of somethin'."

I sighed, pressing my lips into a thin line.

No, I can't tell her. I just can't let anyone know that I'm attracted to Arthur goddamn Morgan.

So, I opened my mouth once again as I stared into Abigail's eyes and smiled. "No, Abigail. There's nothin'. I- I'm just hot. This weather is somethin' I ain't used to."

But then she crossed her arms, so I'm guessing she don't believe me.

"C'mere." She then grabbed my arm and dragged me down to the jetty that's a little ways away from camp. She took her shoes off and I did the same before we sat down on the ledge that's on the side of the jetty and let our feet touch the warm water. "Look, I know you're lyin'. There's clearly somethin'. I know you ain't been here long and I don't know anything about you except that you're John's sister." She then turned to face me. "But I know when someone is sweet on another. You look at Arthur the way I used to look at John. Still, sort of, look at John."

I gulped, nodding. Not worth it fighting against this one.

"Okay, you're right but he-"

"But you don't think he feels the same?" She cut me off and I nodded, looking down at my feet that's kicking underneath the water.

"I know he's seein' someone." I said, frowning.

"What?"

I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "Micah told me on that job we did together."

Abigail scoffed. "What does Micah know? He tries to get under everyone's skin. But you know what?" I looked over at her, her face as serious as it can get. "If you let the man know that it's botherin' you, he'll keep pesterin' you. So, don't let it get to you.

I nodded my head, biting my bottom lip. "Is he though?"

"Is who?"

I gulped, afraid to know the answer to the question I'm about to ask. "Is Arthur sweet on someone?"

She sighed and soon looked down at the water. "Look, I ain't tryin' to hurt you or anything, but I can't lie to you. Arthur, he- he's still stuck on a woman he was with years ago." She then looked back over at me. "I guess you could say he's in a tough spot or somethin'. I don't know. But, all I do know is that life has a funny way of switchin' things up. You never know what's goin' to happen. But don't let that bring you down, Jill. You'll get the love you deserve."

"That's the thing, though, Abigail. I didn't want no love, I didn't want no man." I cleared my throat. "I- I still don't want a man. It's just- I'm just.... Confused."

She nodded her head. "I understand. But, you should know that you can't help what you feel inside."

I blew out a slow sigh, nodding my head. "And that's what's shitty."

"Trust me, I know. No offense to you." She laughed and I gave a small chuckle.

"You knew John more than me." I stared at her with a tiny smile on my face. "No offense taken here."

But that's the thing. Arthur and John are technically like brothers from what I heard from Hosea and Dutch.

I can't get in between that if what I feel now becomes stronger.

And I don't want them to become stronger. I want them to disappear.

"Well, I better get back to camp, Jill." Abigail gently slapped the dock before standing up. "It'll get better in no time. Just be happy that you have a brother. Lord knows I am happy that you do. Now the both of us can keep the man in check."

I laughed as she walked back towards camp.

But my laughter died soon after as I stared at my feet that's beneath the water.

What am I thinking? Arthur's clearly sweet on someone. That actually makes things easier for me, though. Whatever I feel for Arthur can start to leave now.

I wouldn't quite call it love. No, that's too far ahead. I still barely know the man. It's more like I'm attracted to him. I've only been attracted to one man my entire life. I've only ever loved one man.

To me, Arthur is just a handsome man that so happens to be an outlaw. That's it. I can't let feelings get in the way of what I have. I met John, my blood brother. I met this dysfunctional family that became my family.

If I wanted love, I could just go into town and wait for a man to come get me.

No, I'm not here for love. I'm here for my brother and it should stay like that as long as I live.

______________________________________

I have finally finished putting up my tent. I also got out of this dress and into my normal wear which I am thankful for and already handed the dress back to Mary-Beth and gave her my thanks then walked back to my tent to finish a few more things.

I set my tent up far away from Arthur's. Next to where the girl's sleep.

"So, how are you liking it here so far?"

I had just finished placing my bedroll in the tent when Hosea's voice came from outside.

I turned around to see him standing at the entrance, smiling down at me.

So I returned the smile and started to step out, he gave me room to leave.

"I like it. Definitely a lot of work to get used to, but so far there's nothin' I don't like about it." I said as I walked to the table that was just outside of my tent and sat down, Hosea sat across from me.

"Well that's good. I'd like John's sister to feel like she has a home."

I gave him a heartwarming smile and nodded. "Yeah, it's nice."

"I know, since you joined us, there's been nothing but bad things happening." He stared at me with sympathy. "And I apologize for your horse. I remember back when we first saw you, you calmed that beast down. Little did we know that you were John's sister. Just know that all of us care for you just like you were our own. As a matter of fact, you are our own. If there's anything, don't hesitate to reach out."

I nodded. "Thank you, Hosea. Arthur is actually goin' to take me to get a new horse."

Hosea smiled wide. "Arthur may not see it, but the man cares a lot about folks. Now that you're one of use and that you proved that to us, he knows what you're about and where your head's at. Even though the man himself doesn't think he's that good."

I gave a confused look. "What do you mean?"

Hosea chuckled, looking off to the right and I followed his gaze.

Arthur was standing at the chuckwagon, handing in meat and such to Pearson for when he makes the stew.

"Arthur's a man who won't accept compliments. He- he lives in this world where he doesn't speak out on certain things. He sort of just closes himself out and doubts himself." Hosea then turned back to look at me as I turned to look at him. "I can tell you're fond of him, so make sure he doesn't do something dumb, as dumb as he looks. He still has a heart in him."

I then nodded, smiling at him. I don't know how Hosea knows I'm fond of the man, but I don't want to dig myself a deeper hole if I start asking questions.

Only then will Hosea know how I really feel about Arthur.

Abigail's the only person that knows and I tend to keep it that way.

"Of course. I'll make sure he stays in line."

Hosea laughed. "Now, I'm not a woman, but I've been with one long enough to know how they are. They're smarter than men, also more bossy." He then looked taken aback and started to shake his head. "That is not what I meant. What I meant was that us men wouldn't be here if there were no women in the world to keep us on the thin and narrow."

I laughed as well. "I didn't take no offense to that. But, you had a woman?"

He nodded. "Sure did. Her name was Bessie."

"What was she like?" I asked as I folded my arms in front of me, letting them rest on the table. 

"Beautiful." He told me as his eyes veered off to look away, as if he's remembering some memories. "She was the kindest woman I've ever met. She wouldn't even hurt a fly. I was going to marry her."

"What happened to her?" I asked without thinking. 

His facial expression shifted into some kind of hurt. I immediately regretted asking that, but he spoke up anyway. 

"She passed away a couple of years ago." He told me. I didn't want to ask how she died because he still seems hurt by it all. "Bessie and I left the gang for a while, but we came back. Couldn't really leave everyone behind. I care for them."

I nodded. "Do you think that's why John came back too? That he cares about everyone here?"

Hosea sighed as he turned to me. "I think so. Your brother never really spoke on it. He ran away sometime after little Jack was born. But, I know, deep down inside that he cares about that boy and Abigail. He's just acting dumb."

Once again, I nodded. "Yeah, I see that. John needs a lot of work. If he can show me that he cares about me, then he can definitely show Abigail and Jack."

"That's the thing though, Jill. John knows you're his sister. He's having a tough time believing that Jack is his son." Hosea told me. 

I looked at him and frowned. "I still don't understand why he would even think that."

"Eh, I'd rather not talk about it right now." Hosea then started to cough a little. 

"You okay?" I asked, not wanting to go further into the previous conversation. He doesn't want to talk about it so I won't bug him on it. 

Hosea then nodded his head while pounding on his chest. "Yep, just a small cough."

I frowned at him. That "small" cough didn't sound small at all. 

But I could tell he didn't want no pestering the way his face is looking so I try not to go into deep waters with him. 

"Well, I hope you feel better, Hosea." I smiled warmly at him as he turned to me and return the same gesture. 

"Thank you, dear." He then started to get up. "Now, if you don't mind, I should get to reading. I wouldn't let a moment like that pass up, especially since it is getting dark out."

"I completely agree." I chuckled and waved him off as he started to walk away. 

Hosea is a nice man. But I feel bad for him. He lost the love of his life and it still haunts him to this day. I could see it in his face the way he talked about her.

"Jill, come here for a second."

I hear Dutch's voice. 

I turned to my left to see him standing outside of his tent, waving me over. 

So I stood up and began walking to him and as soon as I arrived, he was going around to the other side of his tent where a chair was and an awning hanging over. 

I watched him sit down. 

"Yes, sir?"

"Just call me Dutch. We ain't strangers no more." He chortled.

"Oh, okay." I said, chuckling nervously. I'm nervous because I haven't really gotten to talk to Dutch much and he's the leader of the group. Well, Hosea is too. 

"I called you over to tell you good job." He told me, leaning back in his chair.

"What for?" I asked, raising a brow. 

"Micah told me about that job y'all went on." He said, giving me a smile. "Now, I understand why you couldn't shoot them. You're new to all of this. But aside from all of that, what I hear from him, you did good."

I nodded, returning the smile. Feeling a lot more relaxed now. 

Thanks, Micah. 

"Now, Micah may seem a little, how do you say, barbaric at times, but he's a decent man. He's loyal and now you are too. I've already welcomed you to the family, so I'll just say keep doin' what you are doin'. We're glad to have you." He said as he crossed one leg over the other, grabbing a book and began opening it. "Now, enjoy yourself, Jill."

I nodded, grinning wide at him. "Thank you, Dutch."

With that, I turned around and started to walk towards my tent until Pearson called out to the whole camp. 

"Okay, guys, dinner is now served! Come get some stew while you can!"

I watched him stir up the stew and put away the spoon soon after. 

Might as well eat now. 

I walked straight towards the chuckwagon, picked up a clean bowl and spoon and walked right over to the pot where Uncle was already at getting his serving. 

"You know, you light up this whole camp." Uncle chuckled. "I don't have to be the only one."

I laughed a little, nodding my head. 

"Quit it, old man." Arthur's voice came from behind me and I turned around to see him standing there, also holding a bowl and spoon. 

He then smiled and winked at me. 

Don't think too much on it, Jill. It's not worth it.

I turned back around and faced forward, waiting for Uncle to get his serving. Jesus, the man is slow. 

"I'm just giving the lady a compliment. That's all." Uncle groaned as he stood back up with a full bowl, turning to Arthur. 

I laughed some more, shaking my head. 

"Well, I wish I didn't have to hear that compliment."

Uncle then scoffed before walking away. 

"Do you always pick on him?" I asked Arthur without turning around as I bent over and began getting my serving. 

"It's funny. Wait until he gets drunk, then it'll be hilarious." Arthur said, making me smile to myself. 

"I can't wait for that moment then." I said as I finished with the last scoop and stood up, taking a step back. 

I went to walk away, but Arthur continued to conversate.

"You gonna be up early tomorrow?" He asked, making me turn back to face him. 

"Yeah, I'll be up early."

"Good." Arthur then walked past me, causing me to follow him.

"I was thinkin' we should hunt. You and me." Arthur offered. 

"Hunt?" I asked as we sat down at the squared table that sat sort of in the middle of camp. 

The table they play fiver finger fillet on. I swear, I'm gonna do good. Already got my fingers a couple times.

"Yeah. While we're out gettin' you a horse tomorrow, we could also hunt. Earn you some money. Have you hunted before?" He asked as he took a bite out of his food. 

I did the same, not caring if it was hot. I'm starving.

After I had finished with the bite, I looked back up at Arthur and started to speak. 

"Yeah, I've hunted. But my bow broke years ago so it's been a while." I told him, taking another bite soon after. 

"Alright, well we could always make you a sturdy bow. It ain't that hard." He told me and also took another bite before continuing to speak. "But, Hosea gave me a map where rare animals are holed up at. A bow ain't gonna kill 'em. We're gonna have to use a rifle if we're gonna have to get 'em to stay down."

I nodded, lifting the spoon to my mouth again. "Okay. But, I don't have a rifle."

"I could always buy you one and you can pay me back later. Remember, you ain't dependin' on me if you're gonna pay me back." He smirked at me from under his hat. 

God, that smirk made my skin feel like it's going to melt like snow on a hot, summer day. 

"Yeah, that's true." I said. "So where are we goin' to first?"

He shrugged and soon finished his bowl of stew. Once he swallowed, he pushed the bowl up a little and leaned back so he can get into his satchel. He pulled out a map, which looks like it could be the map he was talking about, and laid it flat on the table.

"Get your chair over here and look over this with me." He told me. 

I nodded as I stood up, moved my bowl up to where I'm gonna sit next to him, and scooted my chair around the table and next to him. I'm not super close, but I'm close enough to smell the cigarette smoke coming off of him. 

"Okay, what am I lookin' at?" I asked as I grabbed my bowl and started to eat again.

"We're gonna start off with somethin' that's close to us." He said as he skimmed his finger over the map. He pointed at an animal in the area where we are close to. "There, a fox. There's a rare fox around there. We can start lookin' for that one tomorrow. While we're doin' that, we could keep an eye out for a horse."

I nodded, smiling at the idea of finding a rare animal. This is going to be good. "Okay."

"You happy about that or somethin'?"

I turned my head to see that Arthur was already looking at me, his own little smile was showing. 

"Well, yeah. I ain't never seen a rare animal." I said, leaning back in my chair. 

He nodded as he folded up the map. "Well, at least I could say I'm glad that you're excited for that." A chuckle followed after. 

"I can't wait if I am bein' honest." I told him as I watched him put away his map, grabbed his bowl and stood up. 

He then looked down at me and gave a heart-felt smile. "Me too."

With that, he began walking back to the chuckwagon. 

I smiled to myself as I picked up my own bowl and went to eat, but I quickly found out that it was already empty. 

Damn, I must've been real hungry. 

So, I stood up walked straight towards the chuckwagon and tossed the bowl into the wash bin. 

The sun had already disappeared, leaving the moon some room. The camp lit up and the folks inside were hanging about as always. 

But, I figured I should call it a night since I have to wake up real early tomorrow for this hunt and to look for a horse. 

The last time I was excited for something, it was for that train job with Arthur, John, Sean and Charles. 

But that ended up to spoil my mood afterwards. 

But hunting? And searching for a good enough horse for me? Now that is something worth getting excited about. 

I can tell I am going to love it. Even if I'm gonna be doing all of that with the man I am sweet on. Hearing that he's still sweet on someone, made things easier for me to be around him. I can lose these feelings and it'll go back to normal.

That was a close one. Now we can just be friends. 

Just friends.

______________________________________

Morning came by quickly. 

I had woken up to Arthur whispering my name out loud from outside of my tent. 

I opened my eyes slightly and yawned as I sat up. I turned to my left and grabbed my pocket watch from the inside of my satchel and took a look at the time.

5:15

Jesus! I didn't know he wanted me to wake up this early. 

"Jill, you awake?"

I rubbed at my eyes and did another yawn. "Yeah, I'll be out there in a minute."

I then began to hear his footsteps go further and further away from my tent.

I inhaled deeply as I stretched and groaned, hearing the bones inside my arms and legs pop and then let out an exhale as I laid my arms down. 

Goddamn, I didn't know he would be waking me up this damn early. 

I stood up and started to get out of my nightgown and replace them with a pair of pants and a shirt. Just plain black, dirty pants and a pretty beaten up red, plaid shirt. I have to wash my clothes.

I then put on some socks along with my pair of boots and brushed my hair down, watching it go past my waist. All these days, I haven't really kept in touch with my hair. I have knots and more knots and some hidden down beneath. It hurt like a bitch trying to brush it, but I ain't gonna whine about it. 

Once I deemed it good enough, I placed my hat on top of my head and finished getting ready by placing my gunbelt around my waist, sticking my pistol in it's holster and knife in it's sheath. 

I soon walked out of my tent. 

It is still a little dark out, which I don't see why Arthur couldn't just wake me up when it's bright outside. Besides, I don't think the store in town is open.

I looked around the camp to see only two or three people up. Most likely on watch or had just woken up. 

I then spot Arthur sitting at the square table, cleaning his revolver. 

I ain't gonna lie, I'd love to wake up to that every morning. 

Shut that out, Jill.

Right. 

I cleared my throat and walked up to the table and sat across from Arthur. 

He looked up at me and tilted his head a little. 

"I don't think I've ever seen your hair down before." He told me. 

"Well, now you can say you have." I laughed a little. 

"I guess so." He laughed as well, going back to what he was doing. 

"Why'd you wake me up this early for? The gunsmith won't be open at this time." I told him as I began to play with the ends of my hair. 

"I know." He said without looking up at me. "We ain't gonna get you a rifle. Just yet anyway. Turns out I have another one sittin' on my horse."

I nodded, now understanding why he woke me up. It's so we don't waste any time since we're hunting for these rare animals. "Oh, okay. That's good, at least."

"Sure is." He just finished cleaning his revolver and placed it into his holster. He then looked up at me and leaned back in his chair. 

"Sorry, Arthur, but I have another question." I told him and cleared my throat. "I don't have a horse. How are we gonna go about this?"

He nodded his head in thinking. "Do you mind ridin' on my horse with me?"

I swallowed a large lump in my throat as I stared across the table at him. 

I honestly don't know how to answer that. It was like ice has frozen over me to keep me from moving or speaking. 

But before I even had the chance to do anything, he started chuckling, shaking his head. 

"Right, there won't be no room." He then stood up, wiping at his pants. "I'll see if Charles or John could lend you their horse."

"I know you ain't goin' anywhere without helpin' with this camp, Mr. Morgan."

Both Arthur and I turn our heads to see Susan sauntering over towards us.

"Good mornin', Ms. Grimshaw." Arthur greeted. 

"Where y'all headin' off to?" She asked, looking back and forth between Arthur and I. 

"Well, I figured I'd take Ms. Marston here to earn some money." Arthur said as he placed a hand on the table, crossing one foot over the other. "We won't take long. We'll be back to finish settin' up the camp."

She placed a hand on her hip with a thin line to her lips. "Okay, just don't take too long. The camp needs help."

Both Arthur and I nodded. 

"Of course." I told her and she looked over at me. 

She had on a suspicious face, but I guess it's taking her a while to get used to me being here. 

I mean, it's a gang of outlaws. I may be John's twin sister, but I wasn't here the whole twenty six years of our lives. 

I don't blame them for not trusting me.

"Okay, then. Get goin'." She finally said, waving us off before walking over to where she came from.

Then Arthur and I turned to each other. 

"Shall we?"

"We shall."

"Alright." He started as he began walking towards the campfire. "I'll go ask Charles if you can borrow Taima for a bit. Stay here."

"Yes, boss." I teased and he turned back to me with a smirk. 

"Real funny."

I chuckled and as did he as he continued walking, turning back to face forward. 

I then sat down at the table, closing my eyes as I felt the heat start to close in on me. 

Set my feelings aside. It's time to move on.

"If it isn't Ms. Marston."

I opened my eyes to see Micah walking to the table, knife in hand, twirling it. 

"Hey, Micah." I sat up straight as he began to sit down across from me. "I want to say thank you. For what you told Dutch."

"I only told him what I saw. If he says that's good enough to trust ya, then I trust ya." He told me, looking down at his knife now. "Just remember, next time, when you're in danger, don't hesitate to kill. You might not live next time, princess." He then looked up at me from under the brim of his hat. 

I nodded. "Yeah, that won't be good."

"No, it won't." He said, looking back down at his knife. "Runnin' with them, it's kill or be killed. I'm sure you wouldn't like the latter."

I bit the inside of my cheek. I know Micah's right. I can't be afraid to kill someone. Especially when I'm running with a gang. 

"No, I wouldn't."

"Alright then. I just want to know that you have our backs in a gun battle, if one ever happens which surely they will."

I stared at him, creasing my eyebrows. I don't want to think about murdering someone, but if I have to choose between saving them or the law, I'd choose them. 

Over anything. 

I'd choose John, my blood. 

"Of course." I told him, almost to a whisper as if I was talking to myself. 

"Good."

"Micah."

I turned my head to see Arthur walking up. 

"Arthur, my good friend." Micah greeted as he stood up, sheathing his knife. 

Arthur was looking right at me, nodding his head. "Charles said you could take Taima. Just take good care of her."

I nodded as I stood up. "Yeah, I will."

"Where are y'all heading off to?" Micah asked, causing Arthur and I to turn to him. 

"Huntin'." Arthur answered, unamused by Micah. 

"Ahhh, I see." Micah said as he began to walk off. "Don't get into no trouble."

I watched Arthur roll his eyes and I chuckled at that. 

"So, someone told me a while back that the Rhodes Parlor House has some good food." Arthur told me as we started walking towards the horses. "I reckon we eat our meal there before huntin' for this fox."

I nodded once we arrived at the hitching posts outside of camp. Since Charles told Arthur I can borrow Taima, I figured I should feed her too before hopping on. 

So I fed her a piece of hay, hoping she'd like it before stepping up into the saddle. 

I'm not used to this, only having to ride Lychee who was a bulky and tall horse. 

But it feels nice to be in a saddle. 

"Alright, you ready?"

I looked over at Arthur who was sitting on Athena and nodded. "I can't wait to get some real food in my belly."

Arthur laughed gently before kicking his heels and clicking his tongue, turning Athena around. I followed suit and now we're on our way out. 

"So, what made you want to hunt immediatly? Except helpin' me find a horse." I told him as we trotted down the narrow path. 

"I haven't been out to hunt much since everything kind of went down. Besides, it could earn you money." He told me. "Also, I've been itchin' to get out and do it. So, that gave me the chance to help you find a horse."

"Well, thank you, Arthur. But don't the camp need us?" I asked as we finally made it out of the woods and turn right. 

"They'll survive. Besides, it ain't like we're gonna be out all day." He said as he urged his horse to go faster just a bit. 

I did the same. 

"True. I guess it wouldn't harm 'em."

"No, it wouldn't."

I smiled as the only sounds that came to my ears were the horses' hooves, the birds singing and some people passing by. 

"So, you haven't been to this town before?" I asked, turning to look at him as we took a left up the hill, past a rock. 

"Nope. This my first time."

"Wow. I wonder what it'll be like. Hopefully not as muddy as Valentine." I laughed, causing him to as well. 

"I sure hope not." He told me, still facing forward. "But, since the air is dry down here, I doubt there'll be any mud in Rhodes."

"Yeah, that's right." I faced forward as well, feeling the sun beat down on my front. 

"There it is." Arthur said as we passed a red barn. 

The first thing I see was a church and as we got closer and closer, we got a whole view of the town. A statue stood tall just a little ways, in front of the post office that was to the right. 

Surrounding that statue was a white fence with benches and grass on the inside. 

It looked beautiful. 

We slowed our horses down to a trot and walked past the butcher to our left. 

He looked up at us and nodded his head before going back to continue what he was doing. 

I turned to face forward to see men and women walking around, talking, laughing or arguing. 

I've only been in Valentine my whole life. Going back and forth between there and Emerald Ranch.

But being in a new town, breathing in the new air felt like I have finally let my past self go.

Everything I knew of back in Valentine, when I was Daisy Lockwood, was all gone and a new life opened up for me as Jill Marston. 

And I am loving everything about it. 

"Excuse me, sir. You know where the Parlor House is?"

I snapped myself out of my thoughts and turned to my right to see Arthur leaning forward on his horse, talking to a man. So, I stopped Taima in her tracks. 

The man then pointed back behind him. 

"Just head down that a way. You'll see it to your right."

Arthur straightened up and nodded. "Thanks, mister." The man hummed and went about his day as Arthur turned to me with a smirk. "Ready to get some real food in your belly?"

I chuckled as we started to trot down the way where the man had pointed. "Sure, if you're payin'."

"Now, what kind of man would I be if I didn't pay for your food?" He turned forward, with a smirk still on his face. 

"A smart one."

I heard him chuckle. "You know I ain't that."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring what he said. 

"It's a pretty town." I said, looking at all the buildings around us. Some were fancy looking somewhat, decorated with vines and such. 

"It sure is." Arthur spoke. "Ah, this must be the Parlor House."

I turned to my right to see a white fence wrapped around a two story, pearly white building. Balconies, flowers and nature surrounded it. 

And just outside of the fence was where Arthur started to get off his horse in front of a hitching post. 

So I took Taima there and stood next to Athena before the both of us dismounted and tethered the horses.

"My, I never seen anything like it." I said, stepping up to the Arch with pallets leading up to the stairs belonging to the Parlor House. 

On the top balcony read a sign. 

Rhodes Parlour House. 

Once Arthur and I walked right under the Arch, a man was pushed out of the front door and rolled down the stairs. 

Another man stood at the door, angry written on his face. 

"Get outta here, you drunk!" That man said and spat to his right before walking back in, letting the doors close. 

Arthur and I cautiously walked up when the man who was kicked out started to stand up, stumbling a lot.

He wore some rugged, town clothes and his hair was black, matted with what looked like dirt and something else.

"This isn't what I wanted." He had said, now hunched over, taking a breather. 

"You alright?" Arthur asked the man as we stopped right in front of him. 

"I'm fine." The man slurred as he stood up straight, cracking his back with a groan before his eyes landed on me.

My breath hitched as my mind started to go into a panic. 

I felt all the color leave my face as my mouth was held open. All the memories of my past came rushing back to me at the sight of this man I once knew. 

Until I finally muttered out.... 

"Nathan Clark?"


	8. Hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for updating so very late, but life has been very hectic. I hope this chapter doesn’t seem too rushed and once again, I am welcomed to take your suggestions or any touch ups. 
> 
> But anyway, please enjoy :) I will try to update as much as possible!

"Daisy?"

Nathan stood still in front of the Parlor House, staring right at me. His mouth was agape, his face fully showing shock. 

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "N- no.... It's Jill."

His mouth then closed, nodding his head, looking down at his feet. "Oh, sorry, ma'am. You just look like someone I know."

The way his tone of voice shifted touched something in me. He sounded down. 

He went to turn away when I took one step forward. But I then felt Arthur grab my arm and I turn back to him. 

"I know him, Arthur." I whispered before turning back to look at Nathan. "I meant I am Jill who was known as Daisy Lockhart."

Nathan stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around to face me. "Jill? Did you change your name or something?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "My name's been changed since I was born. Joseph, he changed my name to Daisy. I- I recently found out that my real name is Jill."

"So it's you then?" He stepped closer to me. "You're Jill now?"

I nodded, giving him a small smile. "How are you, Nathan?"

He cracked a laugh and opened his arms as he came forward, placing me in his embrace. 

But he smells like shit and looks like it too. 

"It's nice to see you too, but can you let go?"

"I miss this feeling." He told me in a low tone as he tightened his arms.

"She asked if you can let go, friend." Arthur's voice was heard from my right and I pushed away from Nathan and turned to Arthur. 

"Who are you? Her lover?" Nathan asked, causing me to turn back to him. 

"No, no he's not my lover." I chuckled, shaking my head. 

I then peaked in the corner of my eye to see Arthur looking at me odd. 

Nathan then chuckled. "Oh, okay."

I cleared my throat. "Anyway, Nathan, do you have a home somewhere around here?"

He shrugged. "If you call living in a tent a home then yeah."

"You got a horse?" I asked. 

He looked at me cautiously. "No, why?"

"Because, if you did, I wouldn’t want you ridin' drunk. You might end up fallin'." I told him as I walked up to him and grab his arm. "First, let's get you a bath. I'll pay."

"I don't want a bath." He told me, that dreadful sound came from his voice once again. 

"You may not want it, but you damn sure need it." I told him as I turned him around and forced him to walk up the stairs. 

I could hear Arthur walking behind us. 

"They are not going to let me in." Nathan told me as we reached the top. 

"I'll tell them that I'm with you and I'll keep you on your toes, alright?" I told him as we opened up the door. 

"If you say so, miss."

I scoffed as we walked through the parlor house, all eyes on us. 

Once we reached the bar, a man came up to us. 

"We told you to get outta here." The man said. 

"Look, buddy. He's with me and the lady. We got this under control, alright? The man just needs a bath." I turned to Arthur who was staring at the man while he tossed money to the bartender behind the bar. "We ain't gonna let him drink no more."

I turned back to look at the man who was having a little stare down with Arthur. 

"Alright, but if he does anything stupid, the three of you are out." The man warned. 

"We got it." Arthur told him which caused the man to turn and walk away. 

I looked over at Arthur and nodded. "Thank you, Arthur. I'll pay you back."

Artur looked at me from under the brim of his hat as he leaned on the bar. "Don't worry about that. Go on, get him what he needs."

I nodded before grabbing Nathan by the arm again who was stumbling. 

"Come on, Nathan. Let's get you upstairs." I said as I forced him to walk again towards the stairs. 

"This is one spiraling staircase." Nathan mentioned as we started taking steps up. 

He almost fell back a couple times, but I always had his back. 

Before reaching the top, I peaked down at Arthur who was already looking at me but quickly averted his eyes and started talking to the bartender. 

I bit the inside of my cheek as I looked forward and continued to go up.

Now I wonder what Arthur was thinking. But I can't deal with that right now.

Finally, Nathan and I were standing in front of the bath door.

"Just like old times, huh?" He said, slurring just a bit but I understood him. 

"Except you're the only one gettin' in that bath." I said, placing a hand on my hip. 

He laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah." His face then turned somber. "I've missed you."

I swallowed that large lump again. "Just get in your bath. We'll be waitin'."

He nodded before opening the door and stepped through only to close the door behind him. 

I leaned back on the wall beside that door and exhaled, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. 

I guess it's best Arthur and I start eating. Plans have changed. 

So, I walked back down the staircase and to the bar where Arthur was now grabbing two plates. 

"What you got there?" I asked him as he turned around. 

"Two fried catfish." He said as we walked to one of the booths in the back that's in front of the staircase so we could see when Nathan gets down. 

"Smells good." I said and right at that moment, my stomach growled. 

So I sat down and Arthur sat across from me, looking down at his plate. 

"Who is that feller? He don't sound like he's from around here." He asked, taking a bite of his fish. 

I took a bite as well before speaking. "Well, that's because he's not from around here. He's from Wyoming."

"Wyoming? What's he doin' down here?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. He moved to Valentine a long time ago. He was close to Joseph and I for quite some time. Then he got offered a job with his uncle in New York and left."

"Oh." Arthur said before taking another bite. "In New York? I thought they was fancy and proper."

I also took another bite before looking out the window to my right. "He was fancy and proper. But now he looks like shit."

"What happened to him that made him look like that?"

I turned back to look at Arthur and frown. "What's with all the questions, Arthur?"

Arthur looked up at me, chewing his food and swallowed before speaking. "If you don't wanna talk about it just tell me. I just don't want him followin' us and have trouble comin' to our camp. That's all."

"Nathan ain't like that." I told him before looking down at my plate and took another bite of my food. 

"Your aunt's a Pinkerton. You'd be surprised." Arthur said. 

"She ain't my aunt." I looked up at Arthur once again. "And Nathan ain't Claire."

Arthur stared at me with a look. Neither smiling or mad. Just a thinking face. 

"Does Nathan know Claire?" He asked. 

I swallowed another lump in my throat and turned away to look back out the window. "Yes."

"See? So, how do you know if he ain't a Pinkerton? Or the law? He could open his mouth to her about us."

"He just ain't, alright?" I snapped my head to face Arthur. "He despises them just as much as you."

"How come?"

I rolled my eyes. "Can we just stop talkin' about him and eat? I'm losin' my appetite."

"Why don't you want to talk about him? He do somethin' to you?" Arthur asked. 

I can already feel my heart racing. 

"He used to be my lover, alright? Let's just stop." I tensed my jaw and looked back down at my plate. 

"I'm sorry, Jill." He said a couple of minutes after, his voice has softened. 

I took another bite out of my catfish. I'm close to finish, but I can't even take another bite. That conversation with Arthur pushed me over the edge. 

Why does he want to know so much about Nathan? I know it ain't about Nathan being a "Pinkerton".

Arthur would've left by now if he had one gut feeling about Nathan. 

No, it's something deeper. 

Does he care about me?

"He- he lives in this world where he doesn't speak out on certain things. He sort of just closes himself out and doubts himself."

Hosea's words just popped up in my head. Now I see why he said that. 

Arthur has trouble showing what he's really thinking. But what could possibly stop him from telling me?

Unless.... 

No, don't let my thoughts get the best of me. I am just now starting to lose these feelings. I can't delve deeper than what has already been done.

It's over.

"Oh, you stayed? I thought y'all would have left."

I jumped up in my seat and turned towards the staircase to see Nathan standing there. 

His clothes were still a bit dirty, but his skin looked cleaner than before. So does his hair. 

I stood up and stepped out of the booth to walk over and greet him. 

"I told you we would take you back to your camp, remember?" I told him. 

"No, I don't."

"Well, let's get you there." I turned around to see Arthur standing, looking down at his feet with his thumb through the loop in his jeans. "Arthur, you comin' with?"

He looked up at me. "Of course."

I nodded and turned back to Nathan. "Let's go then."

______________________________________

"My tent is south from here." Nathan told me from behind as we trotted on the horses towards south of Rhodes. It feels awfully odd to have his hands on my hips. 

But I can't let my mind wander again. Not this time.

"Okay." I said and turned my head to look at Arthur who looks like he's thinking. 

I sighed and faced forward again. I just wish he could tell me what's on his mind. 

The whole ride to Nathan's camp was nothing but silence which made it uncomfortable.

Nathan is back and I don't know how to feel about that. After all that's happened. He just shows up, getting thrown out of a saloon, shitfaced and a mess. 

What is the universe trying to tell me? 

"Just right here. See the camp?" Nathan says causing me to shake these thoughts out of my head. 

I could see right behind the line of trees was a little camp.

"Yep." I said as we passed those trees and Arthur and I halted the horses to a stop. 

Nathan first jumped down and started to walk to the camp. 

But he stopped and turned around to face me. 

"Thank you. Both of you." He said, thoughtfully. "I wish I'd give you some money, but I spent almost all of it on booze."

I nodded, avoiding his gaze by turning my head. "Dont worry about it. See you later, Nathan."

Arthur and I went to turn the horses to walk away from Nathan's camp, but he called out. 

"Wait!"

I stopped Taima and turned my head to see him walking up to me. He got close, but not too close. I'm guessing the way he glanced over at Arthur gave me a sign that Arthur had a nasty face on. 

"What?" I asked, looking down at Nathan. 

"Would you like to get something to eat tomorrow?" He asked causing me to soften my expression. "I have enough money for that. I'll pay. Besides, I want to catch up with you."

"I- Nathan, I-"

"You should go with him tomorrow, Jill." Arthur cut me off, causing me to turn to him. 

"What?" I asked, wondering why he'd tell me to go. 

"The man wants to eat with you." Arthur said glancing towards Nathan with a small smile and nodded. "Catch up on old times like he said." He turned back to me. 

I wanted to say no right then just because of that. 

But when I looked down at Nathan, he looks proud. Excited even. I can't spoil his mood. 

Even though he spoiled mine a long time ago. 

So I nodded. 

"Okay. Tomorrow then. Around this time today." I said, biting on my bottom lip. 

Nathan clapped his hands together with a grin. "Okay. See you then."

I nodded, smiling just a little before Arthur and I walked out of Nathan's camp and onto the road.

I then hear Arthur laughing beside me. 

So I turned and scowled at him. 

"What?" He laughed some more. 

"Why you laughin'?" I asked as we trotted down the road.

"Oh, he wants you. I could see that beady look in that poor man's eyes." He answered, shaking his head as he looked forward. 

I scoffed. "I don’t care. I don’t want him."

All I got in return was a hmph. 

What? He don't believe me?

I don't want Nathan. That shit was done and over with the second the man walked out the door all those years ago.

Those feelings I had are long gone and they won't come back anytime soon.

Besides, I'm trying to force out whatever feelings I have for Arthur. I don't have time to deal with Nathan. Just catch up and be done. That's how I want it to be like.

"We're a bit farther away from where we're supposed to go to hunt this fox." Arthur said. "But it's alright."

"Yeah." I told him, peering to the right, watching ravens fly high in the sky.

"You alright? You've been actin' odd since that Nathan feller." Arthur questioned which made me turn and look his way.

"What? No I haven't. Just shocked is all."

"Is that right?"

"Yes, Arthur." I looked forward. 

"Well, I ain't gonna pry anymore. Just makin' sure you're alright." He told me. 

I peeked from the corner of my eye to get a look at Arthur. His face tells me that he wants to know what's on my mind. How I really feel. 

But, then again, that could just be my gut telling me that. How could he possibly want to know how I feel? He's sweet on another person. It wouldn't be fair to her.

Besides, if he won't tell me what's on his mind, then I won't do the same. I may be acting odd, but he is also. Let's just get today over with.

It took us a little bit of time to get us to where this fox would be at. Luckily we didn't have any distractions along the way. It'd be shortly after noon if there was.

"Alright, I reckon we hitch the horses to this tree up ahead. I believe this is the area." Arthur said as we stopped next to the said tree. "I'm goin' to make sure first."

I watched him open up his satchel and pull out that map he showed me earlier this morning. He was staring at it for quite some time before nodding and folding it back up and placing it back into his satchel. He then started to dismount Athena.

"So this the spot?" I asked.

He looked up at me and nodded before tethering Athena to the tree.

A man of little words. I thought to myself as I shook my head and dismounted Taima, tethering her to the tree as well.

"Alright, so you're gonna take my Springfield, I'll take my Litchfield." Arthur said, pulling out the rifles from the side of his horse. He sauntered up to me with that little walk of his and stopped a few feet from me, holding out the Springfield.

I took it out of his hand, feeling the weight of it.

"I haven't held a rifle in so long." I nearly whispered as I stared at the carvings on this firearm.

"We'll get you one." He told me.

I looked back up and stared into Arthur's eyes. With no clouds out and with Arthur standing directly under the sun, the light was shining down on us at the right time for me to see how bright his eyes were.

I just felt like swimming in them. Those are the eyes you get lost in. Those are the eyes you fall for every time you look into them. It was like being reborn. Shimmering with perfection, those eyes. I've never seen them anywhere else, man nor woman. The perfect blue, almost like the sky, bright and colorful. Then the green surrounding the blue, the color of fresh grass, sitting softly on the ground. Never to be touched.

Those were the color of his eyes and I hate myself for loving them so goddamn much.

"We better get to huntin'." I cleared my throat as I turned to my head to another direction.

"Okay. Let's look around, find anything that'd help us track this animal." Arthur said as he started walking into the open field with tiny hills and few bushes.

Rabbits and deer were everywhere. Eating and surviving, just like everything else on the planet. Including human beings.

We walked up a few hills, keeping our sights on everything around us, especially the ground for any clues.

Finally, we came along a small pond. My eye caught onto something but I wasn't entirely too sure what it was. So I motioned Arthur to follow me.

Once we got to the pond, we noticed something on the ground.

And the smell.

"Oh, it's just shit. That's lovely." I tried swatting the smell as I backed up a little.

"Yeah, it's shit. But it don't look like no deer shit, definitely no rabbit shit. It looks like fox shit." Arthur said, kneeling down in front of it to take a closer look. "It's bigger than normal fox shit though. This must be the special one we're lookin' for."

"You sure?" I asked, slinging the rifle over my shoulder.

"Yep." He stood up and started to eye the ground real closely. "It ain't too fresh, but it ain't too old either. He's a little bit away." Arthur had said as he started to walk around.

"What are you lookin' for?" I asked.

"There." He said quickly. I walked up next to him and followed his gaze to the ground to see paw prints in the dirt. It's barely noticeable with the grass, but if I focus in, I could see them. "He went up that way."

We stood straight and he pointed up a hill, past a boulder. So, we started to walk up there.

Once we got to the top, there was a tiny tree. Right next to it were some sticks.

"Broken sticks." Arthur said as he kneeled down next to them, picking them up and moving them around. "He came through here."

"Okay. So we're lookin' for more paw prints?" I asked as he stood up, doing as he did before.

Eyeing the ground closely.

"Yep and here they are." He said pointing down the hill on the other side.

And those paw prints are leading straight into the woods that's just at the bottom of this hill.

"The woods. I wonder what'll happen there." I said as Arthur started to walk, I followed suit.

"Maybe that Nathan feller will come snatch you up." He chuckled soon after.

I stopped in my tracks and held my hand on my hip, biting back the anger.

"What's your deal, Arthur?"

I watched him stop right before disappearing into the woods and turned around to face me. His smile died down the second his eyes landed on my own.

"What you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean." I snapped, shaking my head.

"I believe I don't."

"You brought up Nathan. What's your thoughts on him?" I asked, frustrated.

"I don't have a problem with him if that's what you're thinkin'. You know I don't trust the man." Arthur said, his face shifting to slight annoyance.

"No, that ain't it, Arthur. There's somethin' more. You've been strange ever since we ran into him." I stepped a foot forward. "Even when it's just me and you alone, you've been actin' strange towards me. What's your deal?"

I watched him close his eyes, almost wincing a little. But as quickly as he did that, he opened them again and looked right at me.

"It was a joke. There's no deal, Jill." He cleared his throat before turning around. "C'mon. We don't have all day." With that, he started walking into the woods with me following behind.

Did he really just dust that off? I know he's hiding something. He just doesn't want to tell me what's on his mind. Although, I'm really desperate to find out.

And I am going to find out.

We walked past a couple trees and bushes. It looks darker here than it was out of the woods because of all these damn trees.

"Wait." Arthur stopped, holding his hand up which caused me to also stop. "Here."

He then knelt down and started to pick something up. I walked up next to him to see what he found.

It was white fur.

"This must be his fur, right?" I asked as Arthur let go of the fur and stood up.

"Yep. It also seems like he's not too far now." He told me, looking around for more tracks.

Once again, we found some tracks, leading deeper into the woods.

"So, Arthur, what's on your mind?"

"Huh?"

"What's on your mind? It seems like somethin' is botherin' you." I said.

Which I am not lying. He is acting strange and that little argument earlier because of it probably didn't help any. He probably didn't want to open up because of the poor choice of words that spilled out of my mouth.

"There's nothin', Jill. Can we focus on this fox?" He said, almost irritated.

"You can't just act like there's nothin' wrong when there pretty much is." I said, frowning at the back of his head. "Why can't you just tell me what's on your mind? You scared? Or what?"

He stopped right then and there, his shoulders looked a bit tense. His breathing has started to pick up. "Things are better left unsaid, Jill."

"Arthur." I said softly as I started to walk up to him. "Turn around."

Surprisingly, he did as told. He turned around and faced me, an expression on his face I had never seen before.

I can tell he's trying to hide it, but failing miserably.

"You don't have to hide what you feel, Arthur." I told him. "Look, I know I haven't been in the gang long. And I'm sure that I am the last person you'd want to share how you feel, but trust me. I'm a pretty damn good friend. If you need me, I'll be there. I mean, I kept Valentine alive for the most part."

"Then you left." He said, his face started to show a little pity.

"That's because I found out who I really am. But that's not the point." I stepped closer to him. "I will be there for you when you need a friend."

I watched him swallow. I can tell he's holding it back. But I can't just let him sit in a grumpy mood. I can't let him beat himself up.

So I reached my hand up hesitantly, until finally letting my fingertips touch softly against his cheek. His expression, though, looked shocked.

"You know holdin' shit in is gonna make shit worse."

Damn, I should follow my own advice.

"Jill, I don't think this is the right time."

I then remembered my conversation with Abigail back on the jetty when we first arrived at Clemens Point.

"Shit!" I snapped out of it and pulled my hand away. "I- I'm sorry, Arthur. Your lover will probably be pissed if another woman touches you." I felt my face heat up as I started to back away.

But Arthur looks entirely confused.

"Lover?" He asked. I then went to say something, being confused as well, but he held up his hand before I even had the chance to ask him what I wanted to ask him. "Shh, don't say anything." He said, looking past my shoulder.

So I turned around slowly to get a look and not even twenty feet away there was the special white fox, stopping in his tracks and lowered his head to eat some grass.

I turned back to Arthur and he nodded at me, pulling his rifle off his shoulder.

I did the same and turned back around.

Arthur then walked up next to me and crouched, causing me to crouch as well.

"You want to take this shot or me?" He whispered.

I took a long breath before speaking lowly. "I can take it."

"You sure?"

I nodded my head. "Yes."

"Okay, take it. But if you miss, I gotchu."

"Okay."

I aimed the rifle right at the fox while he munches down on his last meal. I cocked the hammer back slowly so it didn't make any noise and took a slow inhale, and an even slower exhale as I placed my finger on the trigger, staring down the fox.

As I went to pull though, the flashback of mine and Arthur's conversation from earlier popped into my head, making me think why he would be confused about it.

"Lover?"

Then the loud bang came from the rifle, causing it to fly out of my hands and it caused me to stumble backwards and fall onto my ass.

Then another shot happened.

I looked over to Arthur who had smoke coming out of the barrel of his gun. He then stood up and turned to look at me.

"Jill? You alright?" He asked, lending his hand to me.

I can hear the ringing in my right ear, but besides that I feel fine.

I grabbed his hand and he helped me stand up and soon after he picked up the rifle that flung out of my hands and handed it back to me.

"Yeah, just a ringin' ear." I said, slinging the rifle over my shoulder and turned to look where the fox used to be at. "He got away?"

"Nope." Arthur said as he started walking that direction, I followed suit. "You got him, but didn't kill him. That's why I shot the second time."

We finally reached where Arthur had killed it.

There was a bullet hole in his back leg, but there was another one in his head.

"Ah, I see why you had to finish him off." I chuckled a little out of embarrassment.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." Arthur said, causing me to turn to him. He had a small smile, like he was proud. "You even said yourself that it's been awhile. It's normal, Jill."

I laughed a little. "I guess so."

He scoffed playfully and we were standing there in silence, staring at one another with a smile on both of our faces.

"What are we goin' to do now?" I asked.

He looked down at the dead fox and so did I. "Now we can take this feller up to the trapper. It's gonna be quite a ride though."

"That's fine." I said, nodding to myself. "Where's this trapper?"

"Pearson told me about him." Arthur said as he bent down and picked up the carcass. "Somewhere up near Elysian Pool I believe."

"Where's that?" I asked as I started to follow him up to the horses.

"Just follow me. I'll show you."

For the rest of the walk to the horses were complete silence.

I don't know where his mind is at, but mine is stuck on the conversation we had.

I mean, Abigail did say he had a lover. He's in love with this girl. Even Micah said the same thing. Why would Arthur be confused about that? As if he doesn't know who his lover is.

But when will be the perfect time to bring it up? I only feel like it'll make things odd between us.

I can't let that happen.

I'll just wait for a good time to ask him about it. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk right now.

Finally, we had reached the horses. Arthur placed the fox on the back of Athena and tied him up, making sure he's sitting there tightly so he won't slip and fall.

While Arthur was doing that, I decided to take the time and say hello to Taima and mount up.

Not long after that, Arthur mounted Athena.

"That was fun." I said as we started trotted through the pastures and straight towards the road.

"It was. I remember my first time huntin' an animal with John." Arthur chuckled a bit. "Boy, was John a handful as a child."

I laughed. I always loved hearing stories about John's childhood since I wasn't there. "What'd he do?"

"He wouldn't keep quiet. Squealed every time somethin' moved in the grass."

I smiled, laughing along with Arthur.

"Squealed? Like a little girl?" I asked.

"Oh yes. It was hilarious." His laughter then died down. "Then left for a year without tellin' anyone."

My smile died down too, remembering what everyone had said about that. It was the stupidest thing he did.

I think he's still stupid for not really paying attention to my nephew and Abigail.

"He is stupid, that's for sure." I said, looking down the dirt path. "But, he'll grow out of it. I know he will. But I do think I'm the one who got the looks and smarts."

Arthur let out a soft laugh. "Well, can't argue with you there."

I chuckled. I'm just trying to make light of the situation. After running into Nathan and after mine and Arthur's tiny argument earlier, I think we just need to learn how to be fun, be positive.

But I still want to know what made Arthur so confused when I spoke about his lover. I'm not crazy, right? Abigail and Micah both told me he had a lover.

Then why would Arthur act like he doesn't have one?

Although Hosea did say he's not much of a talker when it comes to his personal life. Maybe something happened between him and the woman. That could possibly be why he would be confused.

Then again, he was probably confused on how I knew he has a lover.

I don't know.

But one thing I do know is that I'm happy to be riding with him, hunting with him.

"The clouds are startin' to set in." Arthur said, causing me to get out of my head and look up at the sky.

He was right. It looks like it's going to rain any second now.

But earlier there were no clouds to be seen. How could the weather change so quickly?

"Should we find somewhere to hold up at?" I asked, looking over at Arthur.

Just as I asked, a clap of thunder roared through the skies, causing both Taima and Athena to rear on their back legs, squealing.

"Shh!" Arthur tried calming Athena while both the horses landed back on their two front legs. They then started to shift around uncomfortably so Arthur and I tried cooing at them.

"It's okay." I told Taima while petting the side of her neck. 

After a few seconds, rain started to pour down on top of us which didn't make things easy for us.

"I think we should go find a place to stay until this blows over." Arthur called out, still petting Athena, still trying to calm her.

"You think?"

He gave me a glare which tells me that he's calling me a smartass.

I had already asked him before the thunder. Not my fault his memory is so short.

With that, once we deemed it safe enough for the horses to start going, we booked it down some trails.

Finally we ended up at this one town. I'd like to know the name of it, but since it's raining hard on us we didn't have the time. We just ran past the sign and went straight towards the first house we see.

Which happened to be abandoned and broken.

"It'll have to do." Arthur says as he halted Athena behind this house. Thankfully the branches and leaves that belonged to the tree was covering the back of the house.

Yes, the horses will still get wet but not soaked since there's some protection.

So I followed Arthur.

But once we got behind the house, we noticed why there were so many branches and leaves.

There's a tree laying flat on top of the house, most likely broke the roof from the looks of it.

"You think it's safe?" I called out to Arthur as he quickly dismounted Athena and tethered her to a root that was sticking out of the ground.

"I think so." He says as he came up to me and Taima, asked for the rein and lead us next to Athena.

I dismounted quickly as he tethered her up as well.

"What about the fox?" I asked as Arthur grabbed my arm and started leading me to the front of the house.

"It ain't goin' nowhere."

Well, no shit.

He then budged right through the door, nearly falling onto his face considering the door is also rotting.

Once we got inside, though, my jaw dropped.

"It used to be a schoolhouse." I said as we walked further into the place.

We could hear the rain pounding the roof and the wind was howling outside. There were also a couple of drops of rain at a time slipping through the holes and cracks of this place.

And both Arthur and I were soaking wet. Thankfully it wasn't freezing outside. We'd probably have to cuddle together to keep warm.

I would be lying if I said I didn't want that, though.

"Yeah. Strange." He said as he started walking off, looking through things. Every step we took, we could hear the creaks in the floorboard. It's kind of creepy.

"Do you think the people who live in this town are nice?" I asked, getting a strange feeling about this schoolhouse.

Arthur turned around to face me and raised an eyebrow. "Why?" He then continued to search through drawers and stuff.

I stood in the middle of this place, looking at my surroundings. "I don't know. This place is just givin' me an odd feelin'." 

"You scared?" Arthur chuckled, causing me to frown.

"No, Arthur, I ain't scared. Just uncomfortable."

I started to lean to my right and gather up all of my hair. I then started to wring the water out. It's a shame our clothes are soaked. It's also a shame we didn't bring a few extra.

"Oh okay. Just makin' sure." He said, finishing up the last drawer.

I walked up to him as he turned and faced me.

"Find anything?" I asked, combing my hair with my fingers.

"A few tonics. A cigarette card. Nothin' too interestin' about this place." He answered me as he started to walk to the back of the schoolhouse.

But I noticed something sitting on the table that's in front of the fireplace.

"Wait, there's a book, though." I said as I rushed past him and picked up the book. "Otis Miller and the Boy From New York. That's interestin'."

"Jack's been wantin' a Penny Dreadful book since he lost his a while back." Arthur said as he walked up next to me.

I turned to Arthur and held the book out to him. "Here, you can take this one back to him."

He shook his head as he placed his hand on the book and gently pushed it back to me. "Nah, you found it. You can give it to him."

I nodded and smiled as I opened up my soaked satchel. "Shit, my satchel's wet and I don't want to ruin Jack's book."

"Take it off." Arthur said as he held out his hands.

I did as told and slipped my satchel off of my shoulder and handed it to him. I watched him as he walked around the table and hung the satchel on the back of the chair that sat there.

While he did that I sat the book back down onto the table, remembering to pick it up when we leave.

I hope the horses are alright.

"I’ma make a fire. I can find some wood in here that's probably still dry." Arthur said as he started to walk around.

"I'll help."

So, we spent the next ten minutes breaking down salvageable chairs and tables so we could throw them into the fireplace.

Once we did that, Arthur took out a piece of paper from his journal, crumpled it up and lit up a match. He then put the paper underneath the wood and lit it up.

It took a couple of tries, but he finally got it and now we can dry up next to it along with my satchel.

We could still hear the pouring rain though. It sounds like it won't stop anytime soon. And if i'm being honest, I'm growing tired. After hunting for that fox and running around in the rain looking for shelter wore me out. I yawned real loudly too.

After we had got the fire going, we sat down on the ground next to the fireplace, sitting side by side.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Arthur." I said, my shoulder was barely touching his.

He turned his head to look at me, taking off his hat and sat it on his leg. "What about earlier?"

I sighed. "Arguin' with you about Nathan and tryin' to push you into talkin'." I said, leaning my head back onto the wall. "Bringin' up your lover. I should learn to never push my limit."

"Wait, wait, wait. Why do you keep sayin' my lover?"

I stared into his eyes as he shifted forward a little, that same confusing look as before.

"It's nothin'. I don't even know why I brought it up." I said, shaking my head as I averted my eyes from his.

"Yes, you do know. What is it?"

"Abigail and Micah both told me you had a lover. But," I finally talked but instantly stopped myself so I wouldn't ruin what we have. I can't let him know I have these feelings for him. Not now. He's my great friend, aside from James. I don't want to ruin that.

But I could still feel his eyes on me, waiting for the rest of my sentence.

The sentence that never came.

"Why'd they tell you that?" He asked.

I turned back to look at him. Worry started to settle at the pit of my stomach. My mouth had gotten dry and my heart started to race.

I have to make up an excuse. I can't tell him Abigail told me because I asked about it. She's the only person who knows how I feel about Arthur. I can't get that out.

Then again, I can use Micah as an excuse.

"Micah was makin' a joke." I told him, swallowing the lump in my throat as I stared into Arthur's blue eyes.

"A joke?" He asked.

I nodded. "He told me that I shouldn't get too close to you because you're seein' someone. Abigail was there." I lied and I hated that I did so, but I can't have Arthur finding out how I feel. “But Micah is stupid. He knows we’re just friends.”

Arthur scoffed as he leaned back against the wall, looking forward.

This time he has gotten closer to me. His shoulder is now pressing against my own.

Why is this sending a strange feeling through my body? It must be because I'm about to fall asleep. My eyelids are heavy and I just feel like sleeping.

"It's a little complicated." He told me in almost a whisper.

My jaw nearly fell from my face when he said that. From what I heard from people, it's difficult to get Arthur to open up about his feelings, about his situations.

Now he is and I don't know how to feel about that. Does he trust me? Well, yeah I'm John's sister. But it has to be more than that. Just because I'm related to someone, doesn't mean you can trust me that easily.

Does he think of me as a close friend as well?

I sure hope so.

"Arthur?" I also nearly whispered, causing him to turn his head to look at me. A look of hurt was showing on his face. He can talk to me about anything and I'll make sure he does. Even if we never become lovers, we can still be friends. "You can talk to me, okay? Even if I have to wait a million years, I'll be here for you. I'll listen."

He nodded with appreciation, smiling just a little bit. 

"Well, her name's Mary."


	9. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING**
> 
> There is an inappropriate moment in this chapter lol I got too far ahead of myself and it was too late to turn back lol so enjoy!
> 
> (I hope I wrote it out good enough) lol

"Well, her name's Mary."

I almost winced when he said "her" and "Mary". Knowing how I feel about him, it breaks my heart a little to know that he does love somebody else.

He never denied it.

But I told him I'll be there for him and that's exactly what I am going to do.

"Did- did she hurt you?"

He chuckled a little as the rain continued to pound the roof. The thunder continued to roar and the horses continued to squeal. But at this moment, it seems like I can barely hear a thing with Arthur talking.

"You can say that. But I think I've hurt her more than she did me." He told me as he stared at the emptiness of the room in front of us. He had both of his knees propped up, his hat on one knee along with an arm. Another arm was on the other knee and his hands were conjoined, fiddling around with each other.

I frowned a little as I stared at the side of his face. "What do you mean you hurt her?"

"Nothin' physical. You'd better kill me if I hit a woman." He chuckled again, but that small chuckle and that small smile died down when he continued to talk. "With me bein' an outlaw and runnin' around all over the place, it kind of hurt her. Almost got married too."

"Married?"

Another piece of my heart broke.

He nodded. "Yeah, I proposed to her but her daddy refused. So she refused. Yet, I am still the damn fool who runs to her every time she calls."

Still?

I could already feel the blood in my veins run cold, but I continued to talk with him. No matter how much this hurts me.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. It must've been tough."

"It definitely was tough. She was smart enough to say no, though." He chuckled again, continuing to fumble with his fingers. "I'm an outlaw. I knew we could never be, but my mind refused to believe that."

"Even now?"

He turned his head and looked over at me. "Yeah, but I think my mind's finally startin' to believe that we'll never be. It's takin' it's time, but it's gettin' there."

"What'd you do when she refused to marry you?"

He winced very noticeably, turning his head to not look at me anymore. I can tell he's still hurt by it. The way he's tensing up now.

So, as comfort, I brought my arm up and wrapped it around his broad shoulders as I laid my head on his left shoulder.

I'm trying so hard not to acknowledge how strong of a man he really is.

"I went straight to the saloon. To get drunk." He answered. His voice has some strong emotions attached to it.

Was he hurt that bad? What did he do?

"Also to fight?"

I felt him shake his head.

"I met another woman."

Another piece of my heart broke off.

Trying hard not to be hurt by this, I focused in on his fingers fighting with each other.

"Oh." Was all I could say at that moment.

"Her- her name was Eliza."

Was?

"Only nineteen. How pathetic I was." He said very lowly. "She was a waitress though. Then- then she-," I can hear his voice wavering as if he was about to cry. "She became pregnant with my son."

Everything, and I mean everything around me seemed to have froze in time. I have so many questions swimming around in my mind right now.

Where are they?

What happened to them?

How come they aren't here with him?

At the back of my mind, I can already tell something horrible happened. But don't really know what. He has a son. It warms my heart, still though, I'm afraid to know what Arthur knows.

But I'll be here through his hurt.

I wrapped my other arm around his front and squeezed Arthur gently, letting him trust me that I am here.

I then felt his hand touch my forearm. He was hesitant at first, but quickly wrapped his fingers around it and held on tightly, rubbing circles in that area.

"It's okay, Arthur."

I hear him sigh before continuing to speak. "Eliza knew I was an outlaw. But she allowed me to visit her and Isaac. I couldn't really promise anything, but I took care of them every chance I got. Although it was every other month I got to visit for a few days, I still made sure they were good."

I smiled softly against his shoulder. "Where are they?"

I felt him tense up again, so I squeezed a little more, rubbing his other shoulder with my hands.

"One day, I went to visit them again. And- and noticed two graves sittin’ outside of the house." His voice was a little shaky. I know what he's getting at and I couldn't help but feel a tear slip from my eye. "I knew right there and then it was them. I found out later that they- they were killed over ten bucks."

I squeezed him a little bit hard this time, starting to feel more tears slip from my eyes.

"Jesus. I'm sorry, Arthur." I said, not wanting to let him go. His hand was still wrapped around my forearm, squeezing ever so gently.

Now I understand. I understand why he wouldn't open up so easily. He was hurt too much in the past. Opening up would recreate that hurt, but I know one thing, if you're hurting inside, you can't just keep it locked in forever. Because then the outcome would be dangerous.

It's always nice to have someone holding you high, even though you feel like you're falling.

We sat in silence for a long time then he started to hum. With my head on his shoulder and my arms wrapped around him made me feel so comfortable. I could just sleep right now and be completely content.

"It was a long time ago. I just don't think I deserve love. I'm just an ugly old outlaw who does nothin' good."

I let go of him and pulled away, staring at him with disappointment. Soon after, I pulled my hand back and slapped him hard on his shoulder, hoping he felt that.

He turned to me and groaned, leaning back just a little. "Ow, what the hell, Jill?"

"You shut that out, Arthur Morgan." I said, staring deep into his eyes. "It's not fair that you have to think like that. Ima let you know one thing, you aren't ugly, you do deserve love. I don't even think you're bad! Yeah, you do horrible things, but so does everyone else! Stop puttin' yourself down and feedin' yourself these lies! Arthur, goddamnit why can't you just see through my eyes just once and see how wonderfully incredible and handsome you are?"

He only blinked a couple of times, staring right at me. Stuck in position.

So, I'm gonna continue.

I shifted to the front of him, grabbed both of his hands and held them in my own. "That Mary woman is the one who doesn't deserve your love! If she can't love you for you then she's a fool. You're an outlaw, yes, but at least Eliza let you come and see your son! It's a shame I never got to meet them, Arthur and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. No one deserves that, not even you. You're perfect and if Mary can't see that and appreciate everything that you are, then I say fuck her, you'll find someone who will. Stop feelin' sorry for yourself and learn to accept the fact that you're alive and you're doin' the best you can. You are not a nobody, Arthur Morgan. Even with your scars, I think you're the most decent man I've met so far."

After speaking so long, I felt my mouth dry up.

But I meant everything I said, even though I'm out of breath. It was worth it and I thought he should know that.

He is completely speechless though. Just staring into my eyes, his mouth was slightly open and his hands were still in my own, not moving. Not twitching. Nothing.

The only thing you can hear now is how heavy I am breathing, the rain pouring outside and the wind howling still.

Whatever he chooses to do with what I said is completely on him. I just hope he can finally see how perfect he is.

I also hope I didn't go overboard with it. I hope I didn't get him mad. I hope he acknowledges it.

Though he's just staring at me without saying anything. It's like the gears are turning in his head and he don't know what to do with it. But, I do find it incredibly handsome the way his face looks. Especially illuminated by the fire sitting in the fireplace beside us.

"I didn't mean to overstep the boundaries, but I figured you should know-"

I couldn't even finish my sentence because Arthur caught me by surprise by leaning forward, pulling his hands free from my own and placed them on both of my cheeks. Every second his face inched towards mine, was the second all of those broken heart pieces started to form together as one.

I know what he's about to do and it's making my insides warm. I've only ever kissed one man, only slept with one man. I just never thought I'd feel this way again.

But here we are.

I blocked every thought of Nathan out of my mind and brought my hands up and placed them on each side of Arthur's jaw as he continued to lean forward.

My heart was racing and it felt like I was going to faint. I've been waiting on this for a long time and now that it's happening, I don't know what to do.

But Arthur seems to know because now his lips are only about two inches away from mine, so I licked my lips, anticipating this moment.

Even past all the rain and wind, I could hear his breathing.

You breathe, I breathe. You hurt, I hurt. You fall, I fall. You stand, I stand. Every second of the way.

"Thank you, Jill." He whispered and before I could even get out a word, his lips pressed against mine.

It felt like pure excitement coursing through my blood. His mouth moved in the same rhythm as mine. They were soft and gentle, the taste of cigarette and his own uniqueness which I've grown to love quickly. It was hot and breathy, feeling the warmth of his body now pushed up against mine, now standing up at the same time without letting go for some air.

I let his hands roam my hips, pulling me flush against him, making me moan against his lips on accident.

But I got a moan in return and that got my lower region to warm up and start to pulse.

In conclusion, I truly believe that all he was seeking was closeness and someone to share his feelings with and he's pouring all those thoughts and emotions into this passionate kiss we are now sharing with one another. The amount of electric pulsing between us was enough to turn out the power in a big city.

I think we both want to know what lies within us.

And what lies underneath these clothes.

I moaned once again as I felt his fingers tighten against my hips and I pushed my body forward against his until I couldn't go anymore. My hands snuck to the back of his head and I combed my fingers through his damped hair.

Once I had did that, he moaned along with a little growl.

He then surprised me by leaning down just a bit so his arms were wrapped around my ass and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso as his mouth pressed into mine again, this time with full need.

He stepped forward, running into the chair where my satchel was hanging off of. He then used one hand, picked up the chair and threw it to the side, causing it to hit the wall.

So I pulled away with my hands still holding onto his shoulders, breathing heavily, staring down at him. I can see the hunger and lust in his eyes now.

"You better hope my satchel ain't ruined."

"Shut up, woman." He breathed out before pulling me into another kiss.

I closed my eyes to feel this moment.

He stepped forward again and bumped into the table.

This time, though, he sat me down on it.

I looked up at him now, leaning back on my elbows, taking note on how beautiful he looks when he's passionate, hungry.

Both of us were breathing so heavy now. Hot and out of breath. 

His hands rested on my legs which were on each side of his hips, spread wide open. Yet our clothes are still on.

"You sure you want this?" He asked, almost nervously.

I nodded, swallowing some air and taking a deep breath. "Yes, Arthur. Always have. It's just.... it's been a while for me."

"It's been a while for me too."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. "Really? A handsome man like you, I figured you had every woman jumpin' on you like wild cats."

He chuckled, shaking his head. I can barely make out the red in his cheeks and I find that handsome.

"Nah. It's been years."

"Same for me." I said, biting down on my lower lip. "Are you ready?"

"Yep. Take these damn clothes off." He nearly growled as he started to take off my boots.

I giggled, sitting up so I can take off my hat. I threw it to the side and started to unbutton my shirt.

Arthur had already taken off my boots and his vest and threw them as well. He then untuck his shirt and started to unbutton it and I noticed that.

So I figured I should do this favor for him.

I leaned closer to him, stopping what I was doing so I can fulfill his needs. I gently moved his hands away, kissing his knuckle before letting them slip from my hands, and started to unbutton his shirt, one by one.

"Damn." He breathed out as I placed kisses over the exposed skin one by one after each button.

I softly caressed his skin underneath the now loose and open shirt, moving up, feeling his scars, feeling the warmth of his skin, feeling the beat of his heart until my fingers reached his shoulders. Then all at once, I slipped his shirt off, exposing his front torso to me. 

He flung his shirt off to the side, now half naked.

I gasped softly, admiring his beauty. He is well-built, even with the scars, he is handsome as ever.

"What?" He asked, noticing my little gasp. "That bad?"

I slapped his chest, causing him to make that "oomph" sound.

"Not bad at all. You're handsome, Arthur Morgan."

While still staring at his bare chest in front of me, he gripped my chin with his thumb and index finger and gently forced me to look up at him.

"I can't help but admit how long I've been wantin' this." He nearly whispered.

That caused goosebumps to form on my skin.

"Really?"

"Yes, darlin'." He started to lean down towards me, his fingers still resting underneath my chin.

"But, I didn't think you would."

Arthur then tilted my head to the side ever so gently, and whispered against my ear. "The first time I saw you, back at the stables in Valentine, was the moment I wanted you. Needed you."

I closed my eyes, mouth slightly open as he started to kiss my neck softly. "That why you kept starin' at me?"

"Yes." He whispered against my skin. I felt the warmth of his breath, causing me to shiver.

"I thought it was because I looked familiar." I also whispered, feeling his tongue touch my skin, skimming its way up. "I thought it was because I look like-"

"Shush. I don't want to think about that." He cut me off, pulling back a little.

I opened my eyes and started to smile. "Alright then, cowboy. Take this off of me, will you?" I started tugging at my shirt.

He smirked at me.

I love that smirk.

"Yes, ma'am."

His fingers then reached the buttons of my shirt and one by one, he began unbuttoning. 

And every button made my heart beat fast. I'm anticipating this, I'm waiting to show him all that I have. 

And finally, my shirt came undone and now my front is entirely open to him.

He stared down at me, biting down on his bottom lip.

So, I shrugged my shirt off and tossed that to the side, exposing my breasts, my stomach, everything from the waist up.

"Jesus Christ." He breathed out, staring right at my breasts.

"They ain't gonna bite." I told him as I reached forward and grabbed both of his hands. I then lead them to my exposed area.

He opened his hands and I let him do the rest. He placed his hands right on them and not even seconds later I heard his breath hitch as he felt them, as he caressed them. He squeezed and played with them however he liked. It made me giggle a little.

But that's one of the things I like about him.

"You're beautiful, Jill."

I smiled at that as I reached forward and started to unbuckle his gun-belt that sat on his hips.

But as I did so, his hands were removed from my breasts and landed right on my hands.

I then looked up at him, confused as ever.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's just I want to make sure that you really want this." He said, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Yes, I do, you silly man." I said, giving him a smile. "I've wanted it for a long time."

He nodded, pushing my hands away. "I got this. You take care of yours." He winked at me as he started to unbuckle his gun-belt.

"Yes, boss."

He shook his head followed with a laugh as he finally got done unbuckling and set that down on the ground. Can't really throw that since his guns are attached to it.

I had unbuckled my gun-belt too and handed it to him and he sat it next to his.

And we both got to unbuttoning our pants together.

Once I was done, I had pushed my pants down, leaving my drawers on.

Arthur on the other hand was in the middle of pulling his own pants down but then he got a look at me and stopped.

Damnit, I want to see how big he is.

"Wow." He said, staring at my drawers.

"C- can you take my pants off for me, Arthur?" I asked, feeling my face flush.

He then nodded his head and did as told. He quickly pulled my pants off of my feet and threw those to the side, leaving me bare with only my drawers.

"Goddamn, you're incredible." He said, standing between my legs with his pants unbuttoned, rubbing on my thighs. I can feel all of the wetness in my drawers.

I've wanted this. For so long. And now it's happening. I can barely feel myself as I get lost in this.

I stared at him and started to pull down my drawers and he was loving it too. I could see it in his face as he watches my hands.

But then he replaced my hands with his and started pulling my drawers further down. He was backing up to give him some room to fully take them off and throw them to the side as well.

After he had done that, his eyes were focused on my soaked cunt.

"The most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life." He said as he slid his hands up my thighs, closing in the gap as he place his fingers on my cunt, feeling the wetness that is there. "This for me?"

I nodded, biting down on my lip. I'm aching for this. I'm sweating for this.

And at that exact moment, he started to push a finger into me, causing me to moan a little. It's been so long since I've had this.

"So tight." He purred as he leaned down on me, closing in with a kiss to my lips. One hand cupped my breast and the finger on his other hand started to stir inside me, causing me to move my hips along with his hand, moaning into his mouth.

I poured everything I had into that kiss. I slipped my tongue past his teeth and started to play with his tongue. He groaned into me, pushing his hips against me, making me feel the bulge hiding in that cloth.

I need it now.

But as I thought that, he slipped another finger into me, making me moan louder this time.

"You like that?" He breathed into me.

"Yes, Arthur." I answered with what little breath I had. I started panting, needing more.

"Jesus, you feel so nice, Jill." He moaned into me as he continued to bite on my bottom lip.

Then his hand movements grew fast, pumping into me like never before.

I moaned and groaned and yelled out Arthur's name as he used his two magical fingers to get me where I want to be. He even curved his fingers which made me cry out loud.

I love this feeling. The feeling of being close and I'm sure he does too. His touch on me was like fire and I'm completely drawn to it. The beauty, the flaws, the scars, his entire existence has made me believe that I'm not alone.

Arthur? He's a companion I never want to lose. Even in battle, when I'm by his side, I will want to protect him with every strength in my body and he would do the same in return. I know I'm not alone and I hope he knows that he's not either.

I will be there with him every step of the way. I will be the one he'd want to run to when he's having problems. I want to be the best person he's ever had. I will, and I promise, protect him from hurt, from the pain, from anything that'll cause damage to his pour soul.

We have met for a reason, aside from a million other reasons. I think the reason we met is to show us that we aren't alone and we could be there for one another whenever we need it.

And I think, deep down inside of my body, I truly believe that there's something more between us.

As he stands there in front of me, pouring all of his feelings into this intimate moment, kissing me like I belong with him, feeling me as if he's known me for a lifetime, that's when I found out that our bond is much stronger than most.

That made me believe in something. Something I've been trying to avoid, something I've been trying not to think about. Something entirely dangerous and probably stupid.

Here it goes....

I'm in love with Arthur Morgan.

I'm in love. For the first time in a really long time, I found a love I know would never walk out.

"Hey, Jill?"

"Yes?"

"It's time to wake up."

"What are you talkin' about, Arthur?" I laughed softly.

Why are my eyes closed suddenly?

"The rain stopped. It's time to go."

I groggily opened my eyes to see Arthur's deep blue eyes staring down at me. I blinked a couple times out of confusion, looking around my surroundings at the same time, noticing we're still clothed and nothing's out of place.

Wait. That was just a dream?


	10. Troublesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s me again! I’m sorry it took so long once again! I just got a new job and everything has just been so hectic! But here’s another chapter for you! I hope you all enjoy! :)

"The rain stopped. It's time to go."

My head was leaned up against something and it felt like it was a shoulder.

Arthur's shoulder.

I sat up straight, rubbing at my eyes.

"I- I don't remember fallin' asleep." I mumbled.

I heard him chuckle. "After our talk, I started to hum. I guess that made you fall asleep."

"Why didn't you wake me up right away?" I stood up along with Arthur and I stretched, letting out a loud yawn. "How long was I asleep for?"

I'm so disappointed. That dream, it all felt too real. It must be this damn schoolhouse. I have never had a dream like that before. It kind of pissed me off if I am being honest.

"Only for a couple of hours. It rained for a long time." Arthur said as he grabbed my satchel from the back of the chair and Jack's book from the table and handed them to me. "I hope the horses didn't get too wet. I feel bad."

I stared at my satchel and the book, remembering the moment in my dream. Where Arthur picked me up and threw the chair to the side.

It was just a dream.

"Yeah." Was all said as I placed the book inside my satchel and started to walk towards the door.

"You okay, Jill? You look like somethin' is botherin' you." He asked, following right behind me.

I sighed as I opened the door and immediately was slapped in the face by the bright sunlight .

Thanks for that, God. I really needed that.

Once my eyes had adjusted, I got a clear view of this town.

"Arthur, no one lives in this town." I said, eyes widening a little.

I then shivered, feeling a cold wind hit my back.

"Yeah, I notice that too." He said, stepping up to the road. I walked up next to him.

We could see a run down church, a small barn with words written on it but I couldn't read it. There were also graves next to the church.

Then we spotted a couple more run down buildings which gave me an odd feeling.

"It's abandoned." I said, shaking my head. "We should leave, sell that fox so we can go about the day. I'm sure it's almost night."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Arthur said as the both of us turned around and started to walk back to the horses.

I don't like this place and I'm not sure if I ever want to come back.

Once we rounded the corner of the schoolhouse we noticed Athena and Taima were gone.

"Arthur! I thought you secured them tightly to the root!" I called out, my heart beating wildly against my chest.

"I did! Shit!" He growled, kicking a rock, causing it to fly to God knows where.

Then the both of us started to whistle and call out their names. We whistled so long that our mouths started to become dry.

The horses never came.

"Fuck." I sighed, shaking my head as I placed both hands on my hips. "I just want to get the hell away from this place."

"You're tellin' me." Arthur said as he walked past me and bent down where the horses were tethered at. "Since it rained, their tracks are wiped clean."

I groaned, leaning back a little, looking up at the sky. "Charles is gonna kill me."

"No he's not. Just calm down. We'll find 'em."

I faced Arthur who was now standing, looking right at me.

"And if we don't?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"We will." He said as he walked right past me.

I still can't get that dream out of my head. I keep reliving it as if it really happened but it didn't. I honestly think it's just this creepy place. Nothing good happened since we got here. The horses ended up running away, Arthur opened up to me (which I found that to be good, just surprising) and that blissful dream.

I thought it was real.

"You comin'?" Arthur asked.

I turned around to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Where are we goin', Arthur?"

"We're gonna look around this town. See if the horses are grazin' on some grass somewhere." He answered.

I guess it's worth a shot.

So I walked up to him so we can begin this search.

"But hey, at least I secured that fox pretty tight." He chuckled, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Well there's that." I said, shaking my head.

With that, we started walking back out to the road and straight towards the church.

"You go to the left, I'll go right." Arthur said.

I nodded my head. "Alright. I'll whistle if I find the horses."

"I will do the same."

So, we went our separate ways.

And of course, I have to walk through this graveyard.

I kept my eyes peeled, looking to the right and left as I walked past the graves.

All it took was one glance at the graves though that made things very interesting.

The names were different, of course, but they were all murdered in September of 1883.

What the hell happened in this town?

There were even kids that were murdered. It is starting to make me feel sick to my stomach.

"Taima! Athena!" I called out, walking past the graves, hoping to forget that soon.

When I turned my head, I couldn't believe what I saw next.

It was a barn, that same barn I seen earlier with the writings.

It read....

"Stay out plague."

A deep, horrifying voice made me nearly jump out of my skin, startled as I am and all I could hear was Arthur's laughter. I turned to him, giving him the meanest mug on the planet.

"What the hell, Arthur? Aren't you supposed to be lookin' for the horses?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Once he was finished laughing, he spoke. "I've already looked over there. Didn't see 'em."

"Really? That was quick." I mumbled, turning around to look at the barn again.

"Yeah, well I wasn't the one bein' spooked out about a barn with plague written on it." He laughed some more.

I shook my head. "Well, let's continue to search."

"Hey, you see that there?" Arthur came next to me and pointed at something to my left. "You can barely make it out, but there's a trail. We can see if they ran up that way."

I looked over in the direction Arthur was pointing at. He was right, I can barely make it out, but I see something that does look like a trail.

So I turned to Arthur and nodded. "Worth a try."

Without further ado, we headed to the trail, thankful that we're leaving that place behind.

It is starting to become dark out, so we have to hurry and find these horses. Otherwise, we'd be stuck walking back to camp without two horses and a fox.

We still need to go to that damn trapper to sell the fox. This whole day has turned to shit.

"Arthur?"

"Hm?"

"Did- did I say or do anything in my sleep?" I asked, almost scared to find out what the answer might be.

He was quiet for a few moments while we follow this trail to God knows where. It started to make me anxious, especially when he's not speaking.

But finally he did.

"No, you didn't say anything. You did make a few noises but I didn't pay 'em any mind." He answered, making me sigh in relief to myself.

"Oh okay." I said, biting down on my bottom lip.

"Wait, shush, I hear somethin'." Arthur whispered, crouching down and motioned for me to do the same.

So I did.

Arthur then ended up moving quickly to a tree and I followed behind.

Now I hear something. It sounds like talking.

We peaked around the tree and spotted a little cabin with a few men sitting outside, laughing and drinking. Then something caught my eyes which caused me to gasp quietly.

"Arthur, it's Athena and Taima!" I whispered, tapping on his arm.

"Yes, I see."

"What are we goin' to do?" I asked, feeling excited and nervous at the same time.

"You got your gun, right? Since the rifles were left on Athena?"

"Yeah, my pistol."

I haven't actually touched the thing since the train robbery.

Since I first murdered somebody with it.

"I ain't gonna force you to do somethin' you don't want to do, but in certain situations you have no choice but to." He said quietly. "You're a good shot, Jill and I believe you have my back, but this might take a turn for the worse. So, I want to know if you really have my back?"

A flashback of the conversation I had with Micah popped into my head.

"Just remember, next time, when you're in danger, don't hesitate to kill. You might not live next time, princess." He then looked up at me from under the brim of his hat. 

I nodded. "Yeah, that won't be good."

"No, it won't." He said, looking back down at his knife. "Runnin' with them, it's kill or be killed. I'm sure you wouldn't like the latter."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Alright then. I just want to know that you have our backs in a gun battle, if one ever happens which surely they will."

Breathing in slowly, I watched Arthur turn and look at me. His lips were in a thin line, serious as his face can get.

"Always, Arthur." I said and apparently that surprised him because he looks taken aback. His eyes were widened and his mouth slightly opened.

And I smiled at him.

He then cleared his throat quietly, turning away to look back at the cabin. "Alright, we're gonna go up there, greet 'em and be friendly. Then we tell 'em that the horses are ours. If it goes sideways and they pull out a gun and aim at you, shoot yours."

"Got it."

He turned back to look at me. "Is your pistol loaded?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He turned away again. "Good. Let's go."

He then stood up and I followed him, the both of us now walking out of hiding, revealing our faces, heading our way up to the cabin.

Oddly enough, my heart isn't beating so wildly like it had done before. I thought I'd be scared, but I'm starting not to be. Not like how I was on that train, not like how I was on that job with Micah.

No.

This is an entirely different feeling. I feel safe, even if I am walking head first into danger.

I guess because I know Arthur is here and deep down, I know he wouldn't let anything happen to me. I'm nervous, yes, but it's different this time.

This time, I feel more alive than ever walking beside Arthur.

"Hey, whatcha doin' on our property, folks?" One of the men had called out, causing Arthur to stop.

He then held his arm out in front of me, making me stop as well.

"Don't worry, feller. We're just here for our horses." Arthur said.

The men who were laughing and talking are now silent. There are three men on that porch. Who knows how many there actually are?

"Your horses? Which ones?" The other man called out, pulling his gun out from his holster. Not exactly aiming it, just holding it.

Arthur pointed at Athena and Taima. "Them horses. By the way, I'd like to have my fox. Well, not exactly my fox. You see, it's the lady's fox."

"You sayin' that's a lady?" The man who had his gun out took a couple steps down the stairs. The other two men were standing, also holding onto their guns now. "Fellers, I thought she was a man!"

They all started to laugh.

"That ain't funny, mister." Arthur said, in that intimidating tone of voice that he has. "You better apologize to her."

Their laughter instantly stopped. "Look, son, those horses ain't yours or your wife's. You must've got 'em mixed up."

"Nah, I don't think so." Arthur said, taking a step forward and I did the same, but adding another step to stand beside him.

My hand stayed on the handle of my pistol, waiting for something to happen.

"You better look somewhere else." Another man said as the two stepped down beside the one.

"You better give us our horses or things are gonna turn out real ugly for ya." Arthur demanded, standing in that intimidating pose, threat oozing out of his mouth.

"I guess you didn't hear us the first time." The three of them made it off the last step, now standing on the ground. "They ain't your horses. Now get off our damn property! You and your wife!"

I started eyeing my surroundings, just in case Arthur and I need cover. Finally, I spotted a beat down wagon to the side of us.

That could be our cover.

"Well then. Can't say I didn't warn ya." Arthur softly said before stepping to the side just a little so he was in front of me, acting like a shield and I was entirely confused on what was happening until he pulled out his gun, aimed and fired at the men.

Now it's going off.

So I grabbed Arthur by the arm and dragged him over to the wagon and we both knelt down behind it, taking cover.

I then pulled out my own pistol and shot once before getting back down.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked Arthur.

I watched him aim at one of the men and shot again. Seconds later I hear a man screaming out in pain.

He got one.

"Do what?"

I peaked over the wagon but right as I did so, a bullet flew right past me, causing me to get back down.

"Stand in front of me before shootin'! What else?"

All you could hear were gunshots.

And then some.

"Shit, there's two more men!"

I growled, getting up from my position and aimed at one of the men who were trying to go around and sneak up to us.

Not so sneaky, is he?

I cocked back the hammer on my pistol and pulled the trigger.

A second later he dropped his gun and brought both of his hands to his neck, trying to yell or talk or something.

So I got back down into cover.

I'm still breathing heavily, but it's not so bad to where I hesitated.

I didn't hesitate not once this time.

Arthur kept shooting, I kept shooting.

We both kept shooting, protecting one another until there was one man left.

We had downed four, but we're confused as to where the fifth one was.

That was until I felt a hand curl into my hair, causing my hat to slip off and my pistol to fall as I was forced to stand to my feet.

"Arthur!"

I watched him quickly turn his head and immediately froze.

That was when I felt the cold blade of a knife held against my throat. The end had already pierced a small hole, I can feel that for sure.

It didn't help that my hair was being pulled too. It hurts like a bitch.

But Arthur stood there, putting his revolver back into his holster before raising his hands in surrender.

"Please, let the lady go." He pleaded.

And for a quick second, I can see the fear in his face.

That man never fears anything.

I am surprised.

"Why? You killed my friends! I can just kill your wife right here and you wouldn't do a damn thing!" He then spit off to the side, making me wince in disgust. "Or, in exchange," He continued talking, dragging the knife down my throat, making it sting on the way down. Damn he's putting pressure into this. "I could just bring her into my home and you can take the horses. It's been a very long time without a woman."

"I can't let you do that, mister." Arthur said, looking back and forth between me and this guy.

The knife then reached the collar of my shirt, making me let out a noise of discomfort and disgust. "Don't be like that, sugar." The man said, his hot breath touched my ear. "I just want a taste!" He growled and instantly cut the fabric all the way down, tearing my shirt open, nicking some of the flesh while doing so.

I gasped in fear and tried to struggle my way out but that was when a gunshot was fired, the bullet shooting past me, making my right ear ring loudly something fierce and wetness had splattered onto the side of my face.

I fell to the ground and scurried away. 

And as I sat there, holding onto my front and the side of my face, I watched Arthur casually walking up to the man, revolver in hand.

"You got my ear!"

The man cried out.

I then witnessed Arthur standing above the man, a dark expression on his face as he moved his arm up to aim the gun right at the man.

Bam!

One gunshot.

Bam!

Two gunshots.

Bam!

Three gunshots.

Bam!

Four gunshots.

And with every gunshot, my body jumped. I've had enough of this.

I stood up, my ear still piercing with pain, and ran up to Arthur.

Bam!

Five gunshots.

"Arthur!" I called out as I grabbed onto his arm that held the gun and forced it down.

He turned his head and looked down right at me. His face is showing something entirely different. An expression I have never seen on him before.

It kind of scares me, but I know Arthur.

"We have to go." I said softly, my voice was a little wobbly.

"You okay, Jill?" Was all he asked, looking down at my neck, at my face.

I forced him to look right at me, not my neck. I stared up into his eyes, waiting for them to turn to normal. "Yes, I am, Arthur. It's okay."

"That bastard. Men like him make me sick to my stomach." He said and soon after spit at the said man.

"Hey." I reached my hands up and cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look back at me. I hope my shirt isn't wide open, but I don't care about that right now. I care about making sure Arthur was alright. "We did good, right? I ain't dead, you ain't dead. Let's just be thankful, okay?" I said, giving him a reassuring smile.

A couple of seconds went by without a word, until finally his face started to go back to normal. Now that he knows I'm fine and I'm showing it.

Although it was a little scary, I still put my trust in Arthur and he did exactly what I knew he'd do.

Together we're a team and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

"Shit!" He cried out and instantly turned around, dipping his head down.

Confused as I was, I went to ask him what was the matter, but then I felt the cool air nip at my breasts.

I looked down and gasped in a high-pitched voice, now covering up with my ripped shirt.

"I'm somewhat decent, Arthur. S- sorry." I felt my face go hot, extremely hot.

He turned around slowly, still avoiding eye contact with me.

"Okay, wait right there." He said, walking off, still with his head dipped. His hat damn near covered his face.

It's a shame that my shirt was cut open from top to bottom. It's embarrassing and definitely something I wasn't planning. But at least Arthur saved the situation from getting worse and I'll forever be grateful for that.

A few minutes went by and I was getting a little tired of keeping my shirt closed. I was just about to turn around when Arthur came up from behind me, shoving his brown gunslinger jacket in front of me.

"Here, cover yourself with this until we get back to camp." He said, clearing his throat.

I nodded, taking it out of his hands. "Thank you." I said. "Are you turned around? Like not facin' me?"

I hear shifting around in the grass behind me until he finally spoke. "Now I am."

I placed the jacket between my legs as I took off my shirt, (my favorite shirt) and threw that to the ground before slipping my arms through Arthur's jacket and buttoned it up.

Wow, he is a big man. Like, a strong man and really tall but I already knew that. Wearing his jacket only confirmed that.

You can barely see my hands in this thing.

I then turned around. "Alright, I'm decent."

My face was still flustered, but not as much as Arthur's when he turned around to face me.

I made sure to note that down in my "reasons to embarrass Arthur" journal later.

"Oh wait." He said before walking past me.

I watched as he knelt down next to the wagon and picked up my hat and walked right back to me, dusting off the hat.

He then held it out to me and I grabbed it gracefully. "Thank you, again."

"Sure." He said, scratching the side of his neck. "Let's go find where they put that fox, go out to the trapper and go back to camp."

I nodded as we both started to walk to the cabin. "Yeah, sounds like a good idea."

____________________________________

We had just left the trapper and it was already dark out.

"Wow, I made twenty two dollars." I said, biting the bottom of my lip.

"Better than nothin'." Arthur noted, causing me to nod my head in agreement.

I then thought of something. For all of Arthur's hard work, I decided to give him more than half of the money. He deserves it more, not me.

"Wait." I said, stopping Taima in the middle of the road. Arthur stopped as well, probably wondering why I have stopped.

I reached into my satchel and pulled out the money. I counted to fifteen, leaving me with seven and I moved Taima a little further until I was right beside Arthur. I then held out the fifteen.

"I hope you ain't doin' what I think you're doin'." He said, staring right into my eyes.

My lips were thin, keeping my seriousness. "I wouldn't have done this without you, Arthur. You played a big part in this and it's only fair you take most. Don't you dare refuse, I don't want you to refuse." I said, curving up my lip just a little. "I care about you, Arthur, whether you like to see it or not. I like to believe that we're a team."

He looked down at my hand and looked right back at me. At first, I thought he'd just turn around and start walking, but he reached his arm out and wrapped his hand around my own, still staring into my eyes.

"I like to believe that we're a team too." The corner of his mouth curved up, rubbing my thumb with his own a couple of times before lowering his hand. Without taking the money. I went to protest, but he had already started to turn around, taking his eyes off of me. "You deserve it more than I do. Put half of that into the camp funds. Not towards me, silly woman."

Silly woman?

I chuckled at that, shaking my head as I put the money back into my satchel and started to follow him.

"You're a stubborn man." I said, trotting Taima right beside Athena. "Who's the next animal we can hunt?"

"Let's take a break from that for now, Jill." He said, facing the road in front of us. "It's dark and besides, you got a date with that one feller tomorrow."

Shit!

I honestly forgot about Nathan. I spent so much time trying to figure Arthur out that it made Nathan disappear from my mind.

Now that Arthur mentioned that, I'm not too sure about going with Nathan tomorrow.

My feelings for this man beside me grew stronger, especially now that I know he's not seeing a woman. Yes, when he was talking about that Mary person, I could tell he still has some feelings for her.

But you can't really control who you have feelings for, right?

I am still here, though, making sure Arthur was alright. Making sure that he knows that I am here for him whenever he needs me. 

I trust him and I trust that he can make his own decisions, whether it be me or not. I will still care for him.

Care for him more than I had cared for Nathan.

And that damned dream. What was it with that? It's hard to read into it if I am not given an actual chance to.

So how should I feel exactly?

"You're quiet now."

I shook these thoughts out of my mind and turned my head to look at Arthur who was staring right at me.

"Er, well I'm just ready to lay down." I said, turning back to face in front of me.

"You have to clean up first. You have blood on your face and that wound on your neck." He said, making me sigh.

Oh yeah.

"Yeah, that too." I said, nodding my head slowly.

"You alright?" Arthur asked.

But I couldn't really tell him what was wrong, could I? I can't just outright tell him that I have these strong feelings for him or that I had a sexual dream about him. That'd make things odd between us.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said wistfully.

"No, you aren't. I may be an idiot, but I know when somethin' ain't right." Arthur said, causing me to sigh heavily.

"You aren't an idiot, Arthur."

"Well, I'd be an idiot if I don't find out what's wrong with you." He said, all serious. "You were there for me earlier today. I think it'd be fair if I am here for you now. Though, I ain't too good at these kinds of things."

I chuckled at that. He doesn't want to know what's been going on inside of my head.

"I- I can't exactly explain it to you."

"Why? We were just fine earlier today. Then you took that nap and now you're actin' funny." He says, now moving Athena up in front of me and stopping there, forcing me to stop Taima. He was staring deeply into my eyes with a sense of worry inside of them. "Tell me, Jill. What made you start actin' like this?"

I look around us to see that we're surrounded by nothing but trees. I sighed heavily, turning all of my attention to Arthur.

Is this where I spill it?

Ruin this friendship forever?

No, I can't. I'm not brave enough for that right now.

"I think it's just that abandoned town. That place was creepy." I said, looking down at my hands that were wrapped around the reins.

"I don't believe you."

I shot a look at Arthur.

Shit.

"What do you mean, you don't believe me?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Alright, I ain't gonna lie to you. It ain't fair to you."

Confused as I was, Arthur dismounts Athena and walked right up to Taima. He held his arms out for me, motioning for me to grab his arms.

So I did and he helped me down.

"Arthur? What do you mean by that?"

Now that I'm on the ground, Arthur found it best that he holds onto my shoulders gently as if he's about to give me some depressing news.

What is he going to say to me? Why do I feel nervous? What is he lying to me about?

"You asked me earlier if you said somethin' in your sleep and I said no." He said and now I know where this is going. I swallowed, feeling my mouth go dry. "I- I was lyin'."

He's close to me. I can see his mouth was slightly parted. He's acting nervous too, anxious even.

"What'd I say in my sleep, Arthur?" I asked, my heart picking up pace.

"You- you said my name. Did- did you have a dream about me? Was I.... was I terrifyin'?" I sighed in relief, looking down at our feet. It definitely was not terrifying. It was pleasing. It was sensual. Anything but terrifying. When I looked back up at Arthur, though, he had a confused face. "Why'd you make that look?"

My eyes widened a bit. "Look?"

"Yeah, like you're relieved."

"I-"

"Oh there you two are!" A voice came from behind me, causing Arthur and I to look in that direction.

It was Bill riding up to us on his horse.

"Hi, Bill." Arthur says in an irritated tone.

"What are y'all doin' havin' conversations out in the middle of the road? Y'all look crazy." He says, shaking his head.

"What are you doin' here, Bill?" Arthur asks, a little annoyed.

Probably because I didn't get to finish my sentence. Thank you for that, Bill.

"Dutch had me come out lookin' for you two. Said we're havin' a little party." He says as he turned his horse back around. "Y'all ridin' with or not?"

I seen that Arthur was about to speak so I opened my mouth and spoke instead.

"Yeah, we'll ride with." I said, now mounting up onto Taima and steered her towards Bill.

"Jill." Arthur says in a low, guttural tone.

"We can finish our talk at camp." I told him as he mounted Athena. I'm hoping he forgets about the whole conversation and let it be.

With that, the three of us headed back towards camp.

Once we arrived, I noticed the camp was lively. We could definitely hear Javier playing his guitar as usual.

We hitched up the horses and that was when Charles walked up to me.

"How'd she ride?" He gave me a smile.

"She rode great." I told him, returning the smile. That was when Arthur walked past us, talking to Bill as they headed into camp.

"That's good to hear." Charles says. "Did you catch anything?"

"We caught a fox. Real special too."

"Nice, nice." He said, giving me a smile. "I hope Arthur wasn't too hard on you or anything."

I laughed, shaking my head. "No he wasn't. In fact, I think it was the opposite."

"Oh, so you were being hard on him?" He laughed as well.

I nodded. "But we had fun. It was great ridin' with him."

"Yeah, it is great. He could definitely use the break every once in a while." Charles says, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

"A break?"

Charles nods. "Yeah, he does a lot for this camp. It's not bad to take some time off for yourself."

"Yeah, I noticed that." I then turned my head to see Arthur having a conversation with Dutch, drinking out of a bottle.

"Anyway, let's get to this party." He said and the two of us walked into camp.

First, I went to the water barrel and cleaned my face a bit. Everyone had already wondered why I was wearing Arthur’s jacket so I had to tell them that some man ripped my shirt open. So, I went ahead and changed into a brand new shirt and walked right up to the campfire.

"Nice of you to join us, Ms. Marston." Lenny says as I took a seat next to the fire. Next to me was Karen sitting on Sean's lap. Then there was Tilly, Mary-Beth, Susan, Reverend, Uncle and Javier of course.

"Please, just call me Jill." I chuckled, waving my hand dismissively.

"Why don't you get a drink and party with us, Jill?" Tilly asks. But when I was about to say something, she continued, now looking at something past my shoulder. "I guess somebody already beat me to it."

I raised an eyebrow before turning around to see who was behind me.

Arthur was standing there with a beer in one hand and another beer in the other. His arm was stretched out towards me, offering me the beer.

"Thank you." I said as I took it out of his hand.

That was when he took a seat next to me.

I looked around the fire to see Lenny, Uncle and Reverend were talking. Javier was playing his guitar. Mary-Beth and Tilly were also in a conversation and Karen and Sean were kissing like there was no tomorrow.

"Never gets old." Arthur says from beside me.

I turned my head and looked at him. "What doesn't?"

"This. Havin' someone to call your family."

"What happened to your actual family?" I asked him in nearly a whisper, but loud enough only he could hear me.

He sighed slowly. "I barely knew my mama. She died when I was only a kid." He said. I frowned a little at that. It's a shame what he's been through. 

The worst part of this was that it seemed like he didn't want to talk about it. Because he didn't speak about his father or any siblings.

He just kept it with his mother dying when he was young.

"If you don't mind me askin', but what about your father?"

He sighs once again. "I watched him die."

I reached my hand out and held onto his forearm. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

He looked over at me and smiled a little. "Come. I wanna show you somethin'."

I nodded and with that he stood up and I stood along with him and I followed him to his tent. We went inside and he closed the flaps behind us, leaving us in the dark. That was until he turned on his oil lamp. He then picked up a framed photo and sat down on his cot.

"Come here." He says after noticing me still standing at the entrance.

I did as told and sat down next to him.

He held out the framed photo under the light shining from the lamp.

It was a beautiful woman. Her hair looked like it was tied back but she was smiling.

"Who's that?"

"My mama." He said and I was staring at the picture in awe. I can definitely see the resemblance.

"She looks beautiful, Arthur."

"Thank you." He says.

I looked up at him and smiled and he did the same. He's the most handsome man I have ever known. The struggles he's been through, the scars he endured, the troubles he's crossed paths with, they created who he is today. Even though he's still going through the pain, he's still staying strong for his family.

That's what I love most about this man.

From the corner of my eye I could see some more photos that were attached to the wagon.

"Oh, yeah. These." Arthur said as I stood up so I can sit on his cot on both of my knees. I looked at one of a dog. It looked like the dog had a bone underneath it's paw.

"He looks cute. Or she."

"He." Arthur says. "Yeah, that's Copper. He was my boy. We did pretty much everything together."

"What happened to him?" I asked.

"He passed away. Natural causes. I miss that dog."

"I'm sorry." I said, lowly.

My eyes then focused on the two photos next to the dog one.

One of them had a mug shot of a man. His mustache damn near covered his mouth and he looks threatening. He's even wearing Arthur's hat and just below it reads: Lyle Morgan. Larceny. 12-7-1874.

"Is he your father?" I asked as I turned to look at Arthur.

He nodded. "I'm not very fond of him. I don't miss him at all. He's more of a distant memory now."

"How come?" I frowned.

"He was a criminal. A no good bastard." Arthur said, his face clearly shows how he feels about his father. Pissed.

"Was that his hat?" I asked.

All Arthur did was nod and didn't say nothing after. I should probably stop before he starts to get uncomfortable.

Damn, I wonder what his father did so terrible to make Arthur hate him as much as he does. I'm also confused as to why he's keeping his photo up and why he still holds onto his hat.

I won't find out now. I won't go digging up something that'll make Arthur hate me.

So, I turned my focus onto the last picture. It looked like a young Dutch, Hosea and Arthur.

"I remember they were tellin' me that they picked you up when you were young." I said, staring at the face of young Arthur, taking a sip of my beer. 

He was handsome then too.

"Yep. That was a long time ago." He chuckled, also taking a sip of his own beer.

I then turned to him and smiled as I started backing up, now standing to my feet.

"It's great to see how you were raised and all." I said as he stood up in front of me, just a few inches from me looking down into my eyes.

"You know, you never did tell me why you felt relieved." He said, taking another sip but it was bigger than the last.

"Relieved?"

"Our conversation earlier. When I told you that you mentioned my name in your sleep." He raised a brow.

I closed my eyes.

Shit.

"Did- did you have a dream about somethin' else involvin' me?" He asks.

I opened my eyes to see that he had stepped closer to me, staring down at me with a questioned look. He had his beer in his hand, taking another sip without breaking eye contact.

I guess now is the time to face my fears and find out how he truly feels about me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this isn’t going to be a fully romantic fanfic. There’s gonna be action and twists and the sorts. Let me know how you feel about this chapter :)


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